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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How far is too far for one night?

58 replies

birthdaywildlifefund · 10/08/2022 20:15

A friends hen do where the location was changed after I had confirmed I was going. It changes it from a 4 hour drive to a 6 hour drive. It’s just one night. I would really like to go but wondering if it’s worth it?! I can’t get extra time off work to travel closer the night before or make it a longer trip, plus can’t leave my DC for any longer.

No train station nearby so public transport/flight not an option.

I feel like lots of people would just make the effort and go? But would they really?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 10/08/2022 20:17

What times everyone arriving for the event? If I could leave at 4/5am on the first day then head home at 4/5pm on the second day I'd go.

Ponoka7 · 10/08/2022 20:17

If you want to go and will enjoy it, why put restrictions on yourself? You want to go, so go.

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 10/08/2022 20:18

Nah... fuck it!

ClocksGoingBackwards · 10/08/2022 20:20

Personally I wouldn’t because I drink on hen nights and wouldn’t want a six hour drive the next day, but then I wouldn’t have wanted a four hour drive either! The cost of petrol is putting me off longe drives at the moment too.

But if you want to go and you’re not too bothered by the drive then go.

PlentyOFool · 10/08/2022 20:22

Nope. I would say if I was driving there and back in 24hrs, the most I'd want to spend on the road is 4, so 2 there, 2 back

pumpkinpie01 · 10/08/2022 20:24

Nope - way too far

Birdh0use · 10/08/2022 20:24

Depends, need to make the effort to keep friendships! You couldn't go it it was in Oz

SheWoreYellow · 10/08/2022 20:26

Six hours of driving? In which case that’s a good 7 to 8 if you stop every couple of hours. Stops always take longer than you think by the time you’ve walked across a car park and to the back of the services where the loos are.
Doesn’t sound like much fun two days in a row.

Original poster
birthdaywildlifefund · 10/08/2022 20:31

I know- it’s a friend I haven’t seen in a very long time so that makes me more inclined to go. But the thought of that long driving just makes me feel miserable!

OP posts:
felulageller · 10/08/2022 20:31

I don't mind driving but that's too much bother.

Original poster
birthdaywildlifefund · 10/08/2022 20:32

Oh the vote if anyone cares…

YABU to drive that far for one night
YANBU to drive that far

OP posts:
Goldencup · 10/08/2022 20:35

Is it six hours one day, night out then six hours back ? Or six hours both ways on the same day. I recently did 4 hours each way, but did stay 2 nights.

Original poster
birthdaywildlifefund · 10/08/2022 20:40

It’s six hours one day then drive back the next day.

Everyone else will be there all day as it’s only an hours drive for them.

I could leave early, make most of the afternoon and night on Saturday, but would need to get on the road sharpish on the Sunday morning to get back.

Also wouldn’t be able to drink too much I suppose but that’s by the by.

OP posts:
Justcallmebebes · 10/08/2022 20:40

6 hour drive. Hen do. Stay overnight. 6 hour drive home. Is that right? You've also got to figure traffic into that too and having just driven 3.5 hours on a usual 1.5 hour journey to the coast last weekend, I don't think I'd go.

Can you car share and share driving?

Are you going to the wedding?

Original poster
birthdaywildlifefund · 10/08/2022 20:42

No one else is coming from as far as me!

I am going to the wedding but can then drive down with my DP.

OP posts:
Augend23 · 10/08/2022 20:42

I voted the wrong way initially as I thought it was going to be YANBU to not go!

Anyway I changed my vote.

Nothing would make me travel 6 hours for one night unless it was my mother dying or something.

girlmom21 · 10/08/2022 20:43

Why do you have to head back early on the Sunday?
How long is everyone else there for?

silkeyemask · 10/08/2022 20:51

I wouldn't do it - I love driving but find it tiring to do anything more than three hours, it'll take up the whole weekend and I'd just be dreading the drive back while I was there. I'd make my apologies

belimoo · 10/08/2022 20:59

Absolutely no chance that I would do this. Would you enjoy it enough to make it worth it though? Or are you considering it just to be a good friend?

Coatdegroan · 10/08/2022 21:06

Is getting public transport to the nearest place, and then getting picked up/ dropped off by one of the people who live an hour away, an option?

ChubbyCaterpillar · 10/08/2022 21:09

Not a chance I'd do that.

For one night max I'd drive is 2.5 hours.

maeveiscurious · 10/08/2022 21:15

I would go but take the train and ask if anyone can collect you if they are only 1 hour away. If you are making the effort you will be accommodated

Original poster
birthdaywildlifefund · 10/08/2022 21:20

Looking into trains now, still 6 hours but seems more doable if I can just chill. Showing as “not available to buy” so no idea about that!

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 10/08/2022 21:23

There are strikes again soon - might be why if it falls on the wrong weekend

dontbringthatbirdinhere · 10/08/2022 21:26

Could you drive up after work on the Friday? Then at least you're not doing the drive 2 days in a row