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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH in intensive care.

55 replies

GrandTheftWalrus · 09/08/2022 23:04

I don't even know why I'm posting this.

My DH got blue lighted to hospital yesterday as he was in a diabetic coma and I didn't phone them quick enough as I thought he was sleeping. He was in full DKA and his body was starting to shut down and I feel so bad I didn't know and didn't phone quicker.

He was responsive when I went to see him today but I don't know when I'll get back to see him as our 2 DDs will be back tomorrow and obviously I can't take them to icu.

I guess I'm maybe asking for a hand hold which is against aibu.

OP posts:
Wolfiee · 09/08/2022 23:06

Thinking of you OP, must be awful having to be at home while he’s there

sintrawest · 09/08/2022 23:06

I’m so sorry op . He’s in the best place Flowers

Oinkypig · 09/08/2022 23:07

The main thing is he was responsive when you saw him. He was in DKA which has now been reversed and in hospital so he will be stable. Hope you get to see him soon!

VillanellesCoat · 09/08/2022 23:12

It’s not your fault, @GrandTheftWalrus so please try & banish those thoughts💐He’s in the right place & getting all he needs. Try & get some rest & look after you x

ErrolTheDragon · 09/08/2022 23:14

Of course you can have a handhold. Don't beat yourself up OP - if you thought he was asleep it's just a mercy that actually you did realise and phone 999 soon enough.

How old are your DDs? Is there anyone who can mind them so you can visit him tomorrow?

SweetSakura · 09/08/2022 23:15

I am so sorry, a mistake anyone could make but I am sure it still feels hard no matter how many times anyone tells you that.

TheBatwoman · 09/08/2022 23:15

Thinking of you. Sounds like he’s making good progress and absolutely in the right place.

I had the almost identical situation with my DW a couple of years ago, so I completely empathise with your situation. Please never feel bad. The main thing is you acted and as a result he’s getting the help he needs and improving.

Please remember to take care of yourself too Flowers

AtrociousCircumstance · 09/08/2022 23:15

Don’t feel any guilt - you got him the care he needed. Sending a handhold and a truckload of positive vibes for you and your family Flowers

Hesma · 09/08/2022 23:20

I hope you know it’s not your fault. Sending love and will say a little prayer for him if that’s ok

Namenic · 09/08/2022 23:20

with diabetes hypos can happen while sleeping and also dka can be hard to detect (we all sleep/nap sometimes). Don’t beat yourself up - it is the nature of diabetes that makes it hard. He is in the right place. Sending prayers and good wishes.

Scuttlingherbert · 09/08/2022 23:38

Consider your hand well and truly held.💐

Please don't blame yourself.

thefirstmrsrochester · 09/08/2022 23:42

This is not your fault.
You got him the necessary help when you realised.
I’m holding your hand xxx

Tothemoonandbackx · 09/08/2022 23:43

If he didn't know, then you wouldn't have known. I'm Type 1, have been Diabetic since I was 3, and have been for 31 years now. Had an infection which sent my bloods all over the place. Had a urine test and it showed Ketones in my system, the doctor said to go to A&E......but I felt fine in myself, turns out I was on the verge of DKA.....DKA is harder to detect than a Hypo.....even for us regular Diabetics, so please please please don't think you've done anything wrong by not picking up the signs sooner!!!!!! I hope he gets better soon and look after yourself and your DD's too Xx

Beseen22 · 09/08/2022 23:43

Maybe if his blood sugars have been erratic when you see the diabetic specialist nurse they will look at getting him a libre and then you can check without having to wake him? Sounds like things are starting to improve if he was unconcious but is now responsive, DKA is very often treated in critical care so makes sense he is in ICU. Did he have any illness prior to sleeping or any vomiting or back pain?

I once seen a patient who had gone the other way and gone into hypo causing diabetic coma. His wife had thought he was having a great sleep until he started 'snoring funny'. She was full of guilt it was heartbreaking.

CuppaWhiteTea · 09/08/2022 23:43

Not your fault, thank goodness he’s safe. Thinking of you both xx 💐

AceSpades54321 · 09/08/2022 23:44

Does it happen often? I’ve seen some dogs trained to detect when blood sugars are low - might be an idea?

Original poster
GrandTheftWalrus · 09/08/2022 23:55

Beseen22 · 09/08/2022 23:43

Maybe if his blood sugars have been erratic when you see the diabetic specialist nurse they will look at getting him a libre and then you can check without having to wake him? Sounds like things are starting to improve if he was unconcious but is now responsive, DKA is very often treated in critical care so makes sense he is in ICU. Did he have any illness prior to sleeping or any vomiting or back pain?

I once seen a patient who had gone the other way and gone into hypo causing diabetic coma. His wife had thought he was having a great sleep until he started 'snoring funny'. She was full of guilt it was heartbreaking.

This is basically it. He'd been ill on the Saturday with what we thought was just a vomiting bug.

He has a libre but is very lax at putting it on.

We'd also discussed if he went very ill that I would administer some insulin etc which is what I done and when it didn't touch his readings I phoned an ambulance.

I keep blaming myself for not phoning sooner.

OP posts:
exitlight · 09/08/2022 23:55

I hope you know this isn’t your fault. Gentle handhold here, be kind to yourself OP x

uncomfortablydumb53 · 09/08/2022 23:56

My Mum was T1 and you did everything you could and he is now in the best place
Handhold here as long as you need it

comfortablyfrumpy · 10/08/2022 00:00

Have a handhold from me - and as everyone has said, it isn't your fault.
I hope your husband is out of ICU very soon xx

Fluffycloudland77 · 10/08/2022 00:04

You weren’t to know. T1 is really hard to manage. Don’t be hard on yourself, these things are really hard to manage at home. People don’t know just how difficult it is.

ICU won’t take my dh, he has a respect form.

mamabear715 · 10/08/2022 00:11

Hugs OP.
I hope your DH is much better soon. xx

Whatkindoflifeisthis · 10/08/2022 00:13

Of course it's not your fault, please don't blame yourself. The important thing is that you got him help when you realised and because you did that, it seems as though he is on the road to recovery.

Original poster
GrandTheftWalrus · 10/08/2022 00:18

He seems to be on the road to recovery now.

When I was in to see him I was only allowed 45 mins

But when someone moved a chair he said "was that your arse?" So he's clearly on the mend I hope.

OP posts:
Panjandrum123 · 10/08/2022 00:27

💐
Try to silence that inner voice, you got him to hospital, he is on the mend. Hoping he’s home soon.