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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH in intensive care.

55 replies

GrandTheftWalrus · 09/08/2022 23:04

I don't even know why I'm posting this.

My DH got blue lighted to hospital yesterday as he was in a diabetic coma and I didn't phone them quick enough as I thought he was sleeping. He was in full DKA and his body was starting to shut down and I feel so bad I didn't know and didn't phone quicker.

He was responsive when I went to see him today but I don't know when I'll get back to see him as our 2 DDs will be back tomorrow and obviously I can't take them to icu.

I guess I'm maybe asking for a hand hold which is against aibu.

OP posts:
mrsfollowill · 10/08/2022 00:30

So glad he is on the mend!- you must have been terrified but please listed to T1 posters- you did all you could at the time so don't beat yourself up about what you could have/should have done!
Main thing is he is recovering and will be back home with you soon-and thank goodness you were there to look out for him Flowers

AlmostSummer21 · 10/08/2022 00:42

I'm pleased to hear he's on the mend!!

stop feeling guilty! You weren't to know he wasn't just sleeping! & when you realised you got him the help he needed.

he's lucky to have you! Some of us live alone!

DickeryDock · 10/08/2022 00:54

My husband is T1 diabetic and his life got so much easier wearing the Libre sensor.

I think when he is home you need to gently talk to him about wearing it regularly. We are woken in night with his phone alarm to say he is either high or low which is annoying but reassuring at the same time.

I notice so many people wearing sensors now too. My children (discreetly) point them out on other people. My husband wasn’t keen on wearing a device that others could see but actually not as bothered now.

hope your DH is home really soon xx

BogdashinaO · 10/08/2022 00:57

I hope you believe me when I say it isn't your fault.

I'm so glad he is on the mend.

Pqpqpqpq · 10/08/2022 01:40

OP don't be so hard on yourself. He's recovering thats the main thing. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life prodding him everytime he falls asleep then you're going to need to move on from this. It could've been a lot worse. Look at the positive. He's OK. Hope he gets well soon.

knitnerd90 · 10/08/2022 04:03

NHS recently started funding the Dexcom CGM -- better for T1s as it automatically sends the readings to your app and will alert you for low sugars. Also if he pumps the Dexcom can send the info to the pump.

Riverlee · 10/08/2022 05:00

Dipon’t blame yourself.

Hope he’s on the road to recovery now.

ColinRobinsonsfamiliar · 10/08/2022 05:21

“Was that your arse”! He’s better then! 😄

He”ll be chucked out of ICU today and back home within another day or so.

He needs to bloody well take responsibility for using his Libre ffs. If it can prevent an ICU stay and all this stress then why does he not? Especially if he’s not well.

Lulooo · 10/08/2022 05:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Lulooo · 10/08/2022 05:40

I’m ever so sorry. I posted on the wrong thread. I’ve reported my previous post.

OP, I had two tabs open and meant to offer goodwil wishes and say that it’s absolutely not your fault and don’t beat yourself up about it. These things happen and sometimes the signs of an illness aren’t so evident to observers. Glad to hear he’s doing well though.

ladydoris · 10/08/2022 05:50

Glad for both of you OP. Hope you have some rest today.

Yogity · 10/08/2022 06:12

Had similar happen to my DF a few years back. It was terrifying. Far from feeling guilty, you did amazingly well to catch it OP.
Sending a handhold 💐

Volterra · 10/08/2022 06:23

Late to the thread, very relieved he is on the mend. It is so hard to know what is going on sometimes. DH has just started on Libre that we are paying for but are moving tomorrow and our new area funds them. What a game changer they are, definitely a gentle word when he is out about using it regularly- suspect he will be be very amenable after this.

EadnothTheStaller · 10/08/2022 06:42

OP, you poor thing, that must have been so scary. My 20 year old ds is T1 and I'm always checking up on him for exactly this sort of reason. He doesn't like it and can't understand why I fuss so much but I don't care if it helps keep him safe.

Hope your dh is home soon.

loislovesstewie · 10/08/2022 06:44

Another handhold, and please get him to either use his Libre or get a Dexcom. My adult child uses the Dexcom and has gone from frequent hypers to none. And a pump as well, so we can rest a bit easier. You did everything right BTW.

Cantchooseaname · 10/08/2022 07:02

Or to look at it another way, your action saved his life. He had a device to help, that he didn’t feel I’ll enough to use, but your vigilance and checks noticed he wasn’t ok and saved him.
hope he is well and home soon.

Beseen22 · 10/08/2022 07:18

It was probably about 24 hours between him having being slightly unwell to him being critically unwell and needing ICU. You cannot blame yourself, it's just one of those things. I've actually never met a T1DM who hasn't had a DKA at some point because there are so many tiny factors which cause blood sugar to become erratic. Will attach a photo which shows just how complex it can be. Definitely get his libre on so you can rest at some point again, so many people have them visible now and it's such a game changing piece of technology. Also don't be afraid to access hospital sooner, hyperglycemia in T1DM is always taken very seriously and we can often correct with hydration and an insulin sliding scale before it gets to DKA. So glad it was just a close call and he is improving well.

DH in intensive care.
Igmum · 10/08/2022 07:18

Another handhold from me. So glad he is on the mend and it's definitely not your fault. Sending love OP Flowers

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 10/08/2022 07:44

How is he today OP?
Please don't blame yourself, even a doctor could mistake illness for sleeping. You did the right thing as soon as you could and that's what counts.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 10/08/2022 07:44

Not your fault at all. Glad he’s on the mend-he does need to take responsibility for his condition though and not be lax about wearing his libre. Maybe this will shock him enough to realise it’s a life saver and to wear it properly. He could have avoided all of this angst, near death experience and the stay in ICU; his responsibility not yours IMO.

SwedeCarrotLime · 10/08/2022 08:26

I'm so glad he's on the mend and completely agree with others that this is not your fault. He is an adult and it sounds like he needs to start taking more responsibility for managing his condition, starting with being a bit less lax about the Libre.

LIZS · 10/08/2022 08:29

Don't beat yourself up. You probably saved his life. It sounds as if he is recovering now and hopefully will be more aware in future. Will your dds be able to visit when he is moved out of icu?

DancinOnTheCeiling · 10/08/2022 08:36

Glad he’s on the mend. Please don’t beat yourself up - the way things are in healthcare/A&E etc at the moment (ie not enough staff, waiting times) makes those decisions of when to phone an ambulance even harder than during ‘normal’ times as so many people are conscious of not wasting resources. The most important thing is he’s getting better, and his chair/arse comment is hilarious. Sending good wishes 💐

LIZS · 10/08/2022 08:43

Bear in mind most dka's happen to patients while in hospital, so easily missed even by medically trained professionals.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 10/08/2022 08:49

Glad to hear he's doing well

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