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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 10/08/2022 13:28

I thought MN was usually anti kids ever being in the garden ever.

I get what you're saying, but it's anti self important men even more.

Also the OP expresses herself in an entertaining fashion, which always helps I find.

TheKeatingFive · 10/08/2022 13:28

I thought MN was usually anti kids ever being in the garden ever.

I get what you're saying, but it's anti self important men even more.

MsMarch · 10/08/2022 13:45

SpringSnow14 · 10/08/2022 13:19

I thought MN was usually anti kids ever being in the garden ever. I wonder why the response is different this time. I guess we’ll never know

I think MN is anti children in the garden at 6am, screaming and jumping on the trampoline. Or playing 6 hours of basketball, finishing at 9pm....

Every single thread I've ever seen asking about children in the garden during the main part of the day has been full of, "of course your children should be able to enjoy the garden" posts.

Blueskybird · 10/08/2022 13:56

Another self entitled knob!!!! you did NOTHING wrong I can’t believe that’s the ONLY Place he can work, however no one wants to live in a war zone so don’t antagonise, BUT use your patio as you always have invite girl friends round and sit outside as your normally do don’t be intimidated by him it’s YOUR garden. You are not having a wild party just living normally! Enjoy

uncomfortablydumb53 · 10/08/2022 14:08

He has no business expecting you to change what you do in your own garden! What a cheek
He can close the window and have a fan.. or just move back to his original place
It's great you stood your ground, and your DC will learn to do the same

najene · 10/08/2022 14:20

""I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job; more Important than yours, by far. I am in charge of bringing up children."

"Shall I repeat?" (Slowly ...) "Compared ... with ... my ... job ... yours ... is ... trivial. T.R.I.V.I.A.L - trivial."

"Now please can you leave me alone to get on with my job? Thank you."

[Something of an esprit d'escalier maybe. But perhaps for future use.]

tootiredforanything · 10/08/2022 14:25

Don't let your neighbour think he can chat with your husband because he can override your decision.

Ensure your husband reminds your neighbour that you are home all day and your decision is final.

Dalint · 10/08/2022 14:41

On a serious note though, this dude could be imprisoned for leaking this sort of info.

Once upon a time I was PA to a VERY IMPORTANT GUY. He was lovely and not pompous and he was actually very important while looking like a hoodlum lol. However, during negotiations, he and a very small team were literally locked into a room during negotiations which went on for weeks. They were locked in and were not allowed out with any material as they were dealing with highly confidential competitive pricing of something and deciding who to award the contract to (I won't say what lol).
He had a long commute into London so often asked me to print stuff out for him to read on the train journey (not related to the price negotiations, just ordinary minutes from board management meetings etc.)
He was reprimanded for sending something to the printer (a 50 page doc). He was almost fired only that he had done it innocently and he knew that I wouldn't have known what I had been printing, so wouldn't have read it.

However, this deal was 5.5 billion so slightly larger than a few million.

It's something he would have been trained about. If he didn't sit through the training, the company has a defence as he will have clicked Yes to having watched and read every training document and/or video.
One of the videos actually warns against reading something on your ipad or phone even on exactly that sort of deal as someone behind you can read it.

Your neighbour could get fired very easily. Some deals are highly sensitive and could rock stock markets and even the FTSE.

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 14:45

If it was incredibly confidential, he would not be permitted to wfh. Simple as that.

So all this nonsense about reporting him etc is just that… nonsense.

Cindie943811A · 10/08/2022 14:48

Just had to come on here OP to congratulate you on your magnificent response to the Very, Very Important Person’s complaint.
Enjoy your garden

Dalint · 10/08/2022 14:54

If I'm a trader let's say, and I'm viewing the FTSE on my phone at Costa. I do not know who is behind me and who they are. At very high levels of money, (a lot more than a few mill), people can be watching. You don't know who is behind you.

My life involves nothing terribly extraordinary so I'm pretty sure that nobody would find my love life on POF or indeed my argument with my 17 year old exciting. However, while handling lots of money, you're not usually emailed stuff to open up for a read on the way home. You most certainly do not negotiate deals while working from home. There is usually a secure line and network. In very high money deals, you will be locked into a room.

cakewench · 10/08/2022 14:55

As annoying as it is that one of the content farmers from the S*n has found this thread (because that's what they are; they aren't journalists, they're just trawling the internet and copy+pasting), it's a bit heartening to think that this dipshit is going to see this thread and all the comments about him.

Dear knob next door: I hope you are better at decision-making at your Very Important Job than you are with the choices you've made to 1) relocate your home office in such a way and 2) actually ask your neighbour to change HER family's enjoyment of their home to accommodate your poor choice.

And get a bloody headset like the rest of us had to over lockdown, fgs.

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 14:58

Dalint · 10/08/2022 14:54

If I'm a trader let's say, and I'm viewing the FTSE on my phone at Costa. I do not know who is behind me and who they are. At very high levels of money, (a lot more than a few mill), people can be watching. You don't know who is behind you.

My life involves nothing terribly extraordinary so I'm pretty sure that nobody would find my love life on POF or indeed my argument with my 17 year old exciting. However, while handling lots of money, you're not usually emailed stuff to open up for a read on the way home. You most certainly do not negotiate deals while working from home. There is usually a secure line and network. In very high money deals, you will be locked into a room.

anyone can access the FTSE? What are you taking about? This is info in the public domain

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 14:58

Dalint · 10/08/2022 14:54

If I'm a trader let's say, and I'm viewing the FTSE on my phone at Costa. I do not know who is behind me and who they are. At very high levels of money, (a lot more than a few mill), people can be watching. You don't know who is behind you.

My life involves nothing terribly extraordinary so I'm pretty sure that nobody would find my love life on POF or indeed my argument with my 17 year old exciting. However, while handling lots of money, you're not usually emailed stuff to open up for a read on the way home. You most certainly do not negotiate deals while working from home. There is usually a secure line and network. In very high money deals, you will be locked into a room.

anyone can access the FTSE? What are you taking about? This is info in the public domain

Dalint · 10/08/2022 15:00

Dalint · 10/08/2022 14:41

On a serious note though, this dude could be imprisoned for leaking this sort of info.

Once upon a time I was PA to a VERY IMPORTANT GUY. He was lovely and not pompous and he was actually very important while looking like a hoodlum lol. However, during negotiations, he and a very small team were literally locked into a room during negotiations which went on for weeks. They were locked in and were not allowed out with any material as they were dealing with highly confidential competitive pricing of something and deciding who to award the contract to (I won't say what lol).
He had a long commute into London so often asked me to print stuff out for him to read on the train journey (not related to the price negotiations, just ordinary minutes from board management meetings etc.)
He was reprimanded for sending something to the printer (a 50 page doc). He was almost fired only that he had done it innocently and he knew that I wouldn't have known what I had been printing, so wouldn't have read it.

However, this deal was 5.5 billion so slightly larger than a few million.

It's something he would have been trained about. If he didn't sit through the training, the company has a defence as he will have clicked Yes to having watched and read every training document and/or video.
One of the videos actually warns against reading something on your ipad or phone even on exactly that sort of deal as someone behind you can read it.

Your neighbour could get fired very easily. Some deals are highly sensitive and could rock stock markets and even the FTSE.

And no, it wasn't Boris! 😂

Dalint · 10/08/2022 15:01

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 14:58

anyone can access the FTSE? What are you taking about? This is info in the public domain

depends on what I'm buying or selling ;)

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2022 15:02

Many years ago we had a friend who sat on panels interviewing potential Army recruits wanting to go to Sandhurst, one question was about their newspaper of choice. Inevitably it was always Telegraph, Times and a rogue, brave Guardian. However once they were there these were usually pristine in the Mess, whereas the Sun, Mail, Express were well thumbed.

Bit like MN then.

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 15:03

Dalint · 10/08/2022 15:01

depends on what I'm buying or selling ;)

Confused.

did you mean if you were in Costa seeing through a trade on your app? (What app?)

in which case, not at all possible.

Dalint · 10/08/2022 15:06

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 14:58

anyone can access the FTSE? What are you taking about? This is info in the public domain

If I have received an email about a patent granted to Pfizer lets say, and then log on to my share buying, someone behind me may also read about the patent being granted and buy.

Dalint · 10/08/2022 15:08

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 14:58

anyone can access the FTSE? What are you taking about? This is info in the public domain

If I start to buy, or sell, if you know what you're looking at, you will be interested.

nonevernotever · 10/08/2022 15:10

It's in the Daily Record too. I get so pissed off with this sort of crap recycling of stories from social media

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 15:13

Dalint · 10/08/2022 15:08

If I start to buy, or sell, if you know what you're looking at, you will be interested.

Looking at a business on the index whilst in a costa would not be any breach whatsoever. All open to the public.

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 15:15

Dalint · 10/08/2022 15:06

If I have received an email about a patent granted to Pfizer lets say, and then log on to my share buying, someone behind me may also read about the patent being granted and buy.

But that would be public knowledge.

If a trader knows that kind of thing before announced to shareholders, then the person sending the email will breaching financial regulations.

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 10/08/2022 15:16

Dalint · 10/08/2022 15:06

If I have received an email about a patent granted to Pfizer lets say, and then log on to my share buying, someone behind me may also read about the patent being granted and buy.

Well yes but reading an email about a patent granted to Pizer on your phone in cost and then logging on to buy shares is a very different scenario to someone viewing the FTSE on their phone.

And what you are describing sounds very like insider trading anyway, so I think being sacked for looking as the FTSE on your phone in costa is the least of your worries in this scenario!

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 15:17

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 10/08/2022 15:16

Well yes but reading an email about a patent granted to Pizer on your phone in cost and then logging on to buy shares is a very different scenario to someone viewing the FTSE on their phone.

And what you are describing sounds very like insider trading anyway, so I think being sacked for looking as the FTSE on your phone in costa is the least of your worries in this scenario!

Exactly