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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:
RedWingBoots · 09/08/2022 20:09

Redbone · 09/08/2022 19:27

He is being an absolute twat. How do you fancy taking up a new musical instrument? Violin, trumpet or recorder the choice is yours!

Plus wind chimes for when you aren't practicing.

Walkaround · 09/08/2022 20:23

With all the money he earns doing his very important job, he can pay for some very important triple glazing. That should keep the noise out.

HB8 · 09/08/2022 20:24

He is just arrogant

WhimsicalGubbins · 09/08/2022 20:30

Aahhh, OP, you know what you need to do…

First of all, I believe your child must have a birthday coming up, very very soon (even if it’s not till feb) Garden party!

Second, invest in some noisy outdoor doors, even bouncing a ball on the patio is enough-as long as you do it for min 30 mins at a time.

Thirdly, encourage your kids to have many many play dates in your garden.

Fourth, get out the paddling pool, stereo and pour a glass of wine-relax to your favourite songs, just loud enough so you don’t hear knocks on the door.

Fifth, inform ALL your neighbours about his Very Important Job and how it’s vital they all creep around until 18:30 every weekday. You’ll find lots of parties suddenly popping up everywhere.

But most of all, have fun!! I’d be loving every loud, disturbing minute of the holidays with a twat like him living next door

dottypencilcase · 09/08/2022 20:32

Endlesslypatient82 · 09/08/2022 20:05

He’s not going to be super important industry big deal living in a bungalow in Scotland!

😂😂

RainbowsMoonbeams · 09/08/2022 20:35

Well I’m guessing the 1% that voted YABU is your very entitled neighbour 😂

YANBU why should you be told to be indoors on a lovely sunny day?! The wkd does not revolve around him. CF.

Glittertwins · 09/08/2022 20:42

Someone did admit to pressing the wrong button earlier

Happymum12345 · 09/08/2022 20:46

My dh still works from home. When me and 3 dc are at home and he has meetings we shut the door. It’s a smallish house and it’s driving us all mad!

Mochaccino99 · 09/08/2022 20:56

Endlesslypatient82 · 09/08/2022 20:05

He’s not going to be super important industry big deal living in a bungalow in Scotland!

Here's a bungalow for sale in Scotland, people here do have real jobs you know, super important industry big deals don't just live in London! (although agreed this guy sounds like a twat!)
espc.com/property/18-cumlodden-avenue-edinburgh-eh12-6dr/36109401?sid=321757

Mumwithbaggage · 09/08/2022 21:04

DH has lots of meetings from home. He has his office as far away from the garden as possible so we can get on with life. He is being utterly unreasonable. He can sound insulate and get air con. I'd be mentioning data safety to him too.

Lesina · 09/08/2022 21:09

It is time your children learn to play the trumpet. With all possible haste. Trumpets are very important. They can practice in the garden.

Hawkins001 · 09/08/2022 21:47

whatkatydid2013 · 09/08/2022 20:01

if he really does work on mergers/A&E he in a million years shouldn’t be shouting about them somewhere others can overhear. I’ve done work on some occasionally and not only did I not talk about them in public I couldn’t even tell most of the team at work or my husband (you generally have to sign documents to that effect too). Bit different once it’s all agreed/announced and you are just figuring out how to integrate or divest stuff. Also surely no one who is actually important would ever say that.

Stock market gold, information.

StoriedSally · 09/08/2022 21:48

The Pokémon traders need to form a band. Your garden is perfect for Very Important band practice.

Rosscameasdoody · 09/08/2022 21:49

If he tackles you or your DH about this again, adopt your own ‘womansplaining’ attitude and tell him he’s an entitled arsehole and you have no intention of stopping any member of your household from using your outside space however they like. Remind him that it’s his choice to WFH and that you are legally entitled to the enjoyment of your property including the outside space, and that if necessary you will defend that in court, should he wish to challenge you.

Mammajay · 09/08/2022 21:50

I think a good idea would be to go round and talk to him and his wife and say that it is not reasonable for your youngsters to be quiet in the garden so perhaps he would be better to work elsewhere when they are home. Show how reasonable you are. If that fails, get the bagpipes out!

Wetblanket78 · 09/08/2022 21:50

Sounds like a right pompous old sod.

Hawkins001 · 09/08/2022 21:51

@Knitwit101
I recommend magic the gathering card game as an upgrade from Pokemon.

orbitalcrisis · 09/08/2022 21:52

If his job was really that important, he'd do it from a more appropriate place.

Wombat27A · 09/08/2022 21:53

Endlesslypatient82 · 09/08/2022 20:05

He’s not going to be super important industry big deal living in a bungalow in Scotland!

On you go, now...

There are some lovely bungalows in Scotland. There is also a very good financial sector there!

We moved up for DHs job, so connected with actuaries & finance. I was after a nice bungalow in Corstorphine but they were £££ even a few years ago and are now very £££££££! As shown by the pp's example.

3luckystars · 09/08/2022 21:59

Mustardbay · 09/08/2022 14:40

I think you need to start some Very Important drum lessons

😂this made me laugh so much!!! Thank you.

chaosmaker · 09/08/2022 22:05

@Knitwit101 Find out where he works and report him for a breach of confidentiality. He shouldn't be expecting you to accommodate his own decision to work in an unsuitable room in the house that is too noisy for him.

JoleneJojo · 09/08/2022 22:06

I actually signed in to this site just to comment.

Every single one of us is doing an important job. Just because it involves money, doesn’t mean it’s more important.

He’s totally out of order. And I’ll tell you more. I work in multimillion pound projects. It’s not special nor important. Not to anyone other than those involved. If his job is so crucial then he must have signed strict confidentiality agreements or as a very leasr agreed to not sharing confidential information. Many companies provide training on how not to leak information and often this includes not having discussions that can be overheard by anyone other than those involved. He’s likely breaching his company’s data sharing policy and possibly the company’s clients if those are involved. I’d go with than and don’t back down as this can quickly escalate. Say you are the one not comfortable being exposed to his jobs private data as you can hear meetings and also his own colleagues (say you have heard them introduce themselves and heard their names - this is def a security breach).

its totally out of order. My neighbour has meetings and talks so loud that I can hear the entire thing including his colleagues. When it annoys me and gets too much, I put music on in my kitchen really loud. He then closes his window.

I work from home and have lots of meetings - not once I had my window open even when it was boiling hot as I know only neighbours would be able to hear (I have signed strict confidentiality agreements and agreed to data sharing policies).

Your neighbour is probably burning out. His choice, not yours.

TypicaL man twat thinking his job is more important than your life or your kids lives.

WeAreBob · 09/08/2022 22:15

Endlesslypatient82 · 09/08/2022 20:05

He’s not going to be super important industry big deal living in a bungalow in Scotland!

What about a bungalow in England? Could he be believably important then?

What is it about Scotland that makes you think he couldn't be in any sort of "big" job?

Scotland isnt like Oulander, you realise? We've moved on a bit. We're not the peasants to your mighty English.

BatsAtDawn · 09/08/2022 22:19

@Endlesslypatient82
I work on multi million contracts, in a high pressure industry, earn six figures and this will blow your narrow mind...live in Scotland in a house not dissimilar to the one the OP described.

Winterflower84 · 09/08/2022 22:20

Threaten you'll report him for discussing VERY IMPORTANT deals publicly and breaching confidentiality. Quote a few things too.
Host a pool party please!!