...to ask your best retorts to "cheer up love it might never happen "

[TiredDonut]

I was talking to a friend at a market yesterday and we were having quite a serious conversation when a man breezed past and said exactly that. I just looked at him (I was shocked that some men still think it's ok to come out with this crap) and he followed up with "you look so miserable" as he walked off.
I'm so pissed off I didn't have a witty put down to hand, so please help me out in case there's a next time (which there inevitably will be)

I was waiting for a long distance coach once. Reading my book. Random man sat down next to me, kept trying to talk to me. I was polite at first ie answered his questions ie is this the coach to x, do you know if it's leaving on time etc. Then the fuckwit said "we can sit next to each other and chat, you can read your book another time". I went to the ticket desk and asked if they could make sure I was at the front, near the driver and random man was away from me. Why are they so fucking entitled?

@TwinklingFairyLightz i find a simple I don’t want to talk to you is the answer there

if they ask why you just repeat I don’t want to
Honestly it’s a good a reason as any can’t stand these men

I agree completely. Never heard a man addressed this way. Of course our role in life is to always smile so all the poor delicate men don't have to see gloomy faces 🙄.

I'd probably say, "it already has" in the moment, nothing clever. I'm thinking of some sort of response blaming the speaker for the look like, "this is how my face reacted to seeing you."

Best one I heard went something like

Random man: Cheer up, might never happen
Woman: Oh, do I look unhappy? (small pause) Well, if we're basing it on that, you look like someone who never gets laid.
Random man: ummmm
Woman: But cheer up, might happen one day, eh!

I wear headphones and sunglasses as armour now.

I was once walking back up the very long, very steep hill home after an awful nursery drop off with my little boy.
I was running late to log on for work and some old bitch said “cheer up, it might never happen” and it enraged me. I didn’t have a witty remark 😩 so I’m enjoying reading these and storing them!

" You tell me where to hide the body then I'll cheer up"

I’d like to know what they’re thinking when they say it. It’s like “oi, love, get your tits out”. Has any women ever replied “okay” and done it? Probably not so why do they keep asking?!

in a similar vein, I was with my aunt and some horrible men, while they were having a wee down and alley, said 'Come and suck on this!' to us (she was mid 20s and I was about 16). As quick as anything, my aunt retorted, 'Not while there are dogs on the street, sweetheart'.

She said she had been waiting for years for the opportunity to say it.

This^

This happened to me on Christmas Day 2016 when I was having a morning walk & my elder sis rang to say my Dad had died that morning from his brain tumour. We were expecting it but still huge shock obvs & wasn't expecting it to be on Christmas Day (for some reason). About 20 mins later 2 grown men dressed as elves (wtaf??) called across the street 'Cheer up love - it may never happen, it's Christmas!!) 😡😡😡 I had no witty response in place & just glared at them! twats. I might have appreciated 'is everything okay' type of comment tbh. Wish men would keep their opnions to themselves. If someone looks sad/crying on Christmas Day there's probably a very good reason for it 🙄🙄🙄

My mum died two days before your Dad @singingintheshower and something similar was said - by a relative who had been hitting her up for cash while she was so very ill. I could have punched him.

I had this when I was a teenager, walking past a group of workmen. I was used to the usual catcalls, but got the “smile, love, it might never happen,” that morning. I was on my way to my mum’s, the day after she’d told us she had stage 4 breast cancer. I was so angry and upset about it all, so I shouted at told him where I was going and why. His workmates looked mortified for him while he spluttered and said something along the lines of “well how was I supposed to know?” To which I replied, “well, you weren’t, were you, but maybe you might learn to keep your horrible mouth shut in future.” I hope he did, the idiot.
My mum battled through everything and is still with us today, driving us all mad, just where she belongs 🥰

Jeez, do men still come out with this crap? I used to get this all the time when I was Teen in the 80’s, always from adult men too, I used to retort “it just did when I saw you” and they’d often mutter some abuse back. It’s not like I was actually miserable, or even looked it! God, I’d forgotten how vile this sort of comment was!

Love this one!

That's funny, but most likely an exchange that wouldn't pan out that way.

I often think that there needs to be a website that women (and men if it happens to them) post photos of men who make these comments. Everyone who has a phone has a camera on it.

It could be called apennyinthedickhead.com.

However, I suspect it would be policed and shutdoen quicker than any "revenge" porn site has. Based on taking photos without permission or something.

There could be a special section for dick pics - which in fact might make the photo permission things harder to argue seeing they willingly gave over ownership of the photo.

With any stupid unsolicited comments, I'm always a big fan of the "what?" and looking confused so that they repeat it. But then after 2 repetitions, I like to suddenly act like the penny's dropped and slowly go "ohhhh....right, thanks random man?" and look at then like they're bonkers as I walk off. I find it helps them to realise how ridiculous they sound, but most importantly shifts the power balance without giving them anything to latch upon and start coming at you more

I would never respond with an ‘explanation’ (made up or not) - why would that stranger be entitled to it?

On that note - my favourite is

"Alright - who put 50p in the dickhead?"

Whilst I've never actually heard anyone say this, and certainly nobody's ever said it to me (and Im not overly friendly or blessed with any sunny disposition ) I'm pretty sure I'd just ignore them the same way I would of any man approached me in the street or threw any comment my way at all. It's just so pathetic and so are they I can't see the point of acknowledging it or them.

They aren't going to learn, if they're an adult man hollering sexist nonsense in the street I'd assume it's too late for them to be a particularly worthwhile person and would be embarrassed for them for lacking the wherewithal to understand how unappealing they are.

Agree

Like these men give a toss whether your dad/mum/cat died. Giving them an explanation for my unsmiling face would make me feel worse about the whole encounter.

@Fraaahnces it's awful losing someone at anytime but somehow just seems that bit worse around Christmas 😪 Some sort of universal expectation that everyone should enjoy the festivities, everyone should be happy etc. I never liked Christmas that much before Dad died but it's definitely ruined the whole day now. The countdown to Xmas thing that starts in August usually 🙄 & close friends (who really should have remembered when my Dad died) saying 'Are you looking forward to Xmas?' etc etc REALLY pissed me off in the first few years. I had a lot of anger for stupid comments then. I'm a bit more mellow now & realise people have rubbish memories & don't usually mean anything in their comments. Random strangers saying weird things is just not on though! Really sorry about your Mum 💔💔

@singingintheshower … Thanks so much. She was a difficult person and her passing was not peaceful. It was hard on us all, but especially my kids who were fairly little. They had to see me traumatized during and afterwards, and I had to try and create some “Christmas Magic” for them all as well. I’m so sorry about your Dad too.

Oh do shut up dear