...to ask your best retorts to "cheer up love it might never happen "

[TiredDonut]

I was talking to a friend at a market yesterday and we were having quite a serious conversation when a man breezed past and said exactly that. I just looked at him (I was shocked that some men still think it's ok to come out with this crap) and he followed up with "you look so miserable" as he walked off.
I'm so pissed off I didn't have a witty put down to hand, so please help me out in case there's a next time (which there inevitably will be)

"Why thank you random man, your life advice really is superlative"

‘Thanks for your input, random man.’

Or maybe "What makes you think you can tell me what to do with my face?"

"have you looked in the mirror at yourself lately?"

‘Thank you, strange man I’ve never seen before’

I once posted here about a particularly upsetting example of this and among the wonderful support i got the two suggestions that made me smile were
“oh look! Somebody put a penny in the arsehole machine”
and
”Say something funny then.”

A man I vaguely know said this to me at my father's funeral. It was all I could do not to punch him . I am not a violent person by nature but for him I almost made an exception.

I like the top one

@thefizz

have you looked in the mirror at yourself lately?"

That's a cracker!

Also liking, 'who put a penny in the arsehole machine'

Which reminds me of 'who left the bag of idiots open?'

I have often replied "that's what I'm worried about."

It will happen if you don't fuck off

It just did, pal. In your most menacing tones…….

Love these.👏🏻

My DF fav insult was ‘did you fall out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down’

"And yet, here you are"

‘Not while you’re around’

Who put 20p in the dickhead?

Do I know you?
Why are you telling me what to do then you weirdo

Slightly raised eyebrows, hard disdainful stare, turn my back on them

I'm going to remember that one.

I do remember losing it when an idiot said it to me in an airport queue some years ago. I was flying home with 2 young DC and leaving DH behind to stay with MIL who had been admitted to ITU on the last day of our holiday. I may have have cried and told him it already had.

At least his wife had the grace to look embarrassed.

Ignore. No response. Blank them.

Yes, us naughty ladies should only challenge men's sexist behaviour courteously 🙄

My Xx has just died”

They usually run pretty quick

That was a genuine retort once. Our friend had been in a car crash and his life support had ended that day. We were devastated and some tosser walking in tbe pub told to cheer up!

I love the replies that are witty and don’t rely on expletives. Yet make the other person have to think

this is great equiphant!
”Say something funny then.” I LOVE how it throws the spotlight back to them.

also genius ..and RumpoleoftheBaileys
"And yet, here you are"

Heaven!

Some arsehole workmen types got me with this earlier and I was so pissed off at myself for not having the appropriate retort ready. By the time I came out of the shop I'd remembered it & was ready for them but the tossers had gone (shakes fist).

Next time I will be ready with a big old, sarcasm laden smile and a 'Thank you for you input, random man!'

I like this one