...to ask your best retorts to "cheer up love it might never happen "

[TiredDonut]

I was talking to a friend at a market yesterday and we were having quite a serious conversation when a man breezed past and said exactly that. I just looked at him (I was shocked that some men still think it's ok to come out with this crap) and he followed up with "you look so miserable" as he walked off.
I'm so pissed off I didn't have a witty put down to hand, so please help me out in case there's a next time (which there inevitably will be)

Hahahaha, brilliant! Thank you!

Stare at them really quizzically, cock your head and say, pardon? They repeat. Look even more quizzical and say, sorry, I don’t understand. They get pissed off and walk away.

My auto response of a slight sneer and allowing a second of disgust to cross my face but turning away seems to utterly infuriate the dort that come out with this sort. As I've had more than one try to suggest I might be deaf or demand to know if I heard them. They're not worth acknowledging, treat them with the contempt they've earned.

I was genuinely upset once when this happened. My instinctive response was 'just fuck off!'
Not witty but he did look surprised.

When my dad died my mum had to ring her boss to tell him. Understandably she initially sounded upset and he said 'cheer up it might never happen' she had to retort it already has. Why don't people think before they say stupid things !!

I've had it happen twice where I had a grumpy face on, the first one I looked bewildered and then burst into tears because I'd just been made redundant. Second one was a man at the train gate at Reading station after my friend told me her FIL was dying. There was an expletive-ridden rant which included most of the angry retorts above, plus a few "how fucking dare you"s

like bereaved people should wear Victorian mourning if they don’t want middle aged men commenting on their mood

😂thank you for this gem @Changechangychange it is properly cheering.

Happened me on the overground the other morning I was hauling my baby up the stairs (no lift) and carrying the buggy on one shoulder her on my hip and a bag on my back so was obviously stressed he said it on the way up the stairs instead of helping me - then on the train he said ah love would you ever smile - I told him to go away and leave us alone - he then went and started hassling a woman in her 20s I heard him say I bet men are always looking at you - so I phoned the transport police to report him for harassment 🙈 what an actual creep

I’d like to know what they’re thinking when they say it. It’s like “oi, love, get your tits out”. Has any women ever replied “okay” and done it? Probably not so why do they keep asking?!

I suspect because it's got fuck all to do with being 'obeyed' & everything to do with a dominance display, & the enjoyment of making women feel uncomfortable.

I was walking through the village my parents live in on Saturday. My DM was terminally ill and I'd been up several times in the night with her.

A woman walked past and must have said 'hello' but I was so deep in thought and probably frowning, I didn't hear her. She then followed up with 'don't crack your face'. I considered ignoring but decided to stop and politely point out the reason that I hadn't replied.

She was upset and apologetic but it might make her think twice about making ridiculous comments.

Then my mum passed away later that day.

"I'm drinking whisky in Wetherspoons [Victoria Station] at 11.00am. I think you can assume it's already happened."

(I'd just been made redundant)

Just ignore it ,coming out with s mouthful ( which I bet most people don't anyway) just encourages it.

“How exactly does the arrangement of my facial muscles affect you? Why do you think it’s appropriate in this day and age to interrupt the conversation of a complete stranger with a demand like that? I am entitled to emote any way I fucking choose, and have no interest in making your day better by faking a smile I don’t feel. Fuck off!”

Pretend you can't hear them, make them repeat themselves loads of times.

I'd blame it on my declining oestrogen levels @easylisten, but I was a sweary fucker as a young'un, so that doesn't fly.

You might find that AIBU is not the forum for you if you find swearing so offensive. Personally, I find men who instruct women how to arrange their faces far more worrying & degrading than curse words, & if I want to call some dominance-displaying entitled fuckwit a cunt, that's exactly what I'll do.

I do enjoy the making them say it again thing though - sorry what was that? What? What?

I don’t use a witty retort, I just tell them to fuck off. HTH.

So sorry for your loss. My MIL passes away last week and it was very peaceful, I hope your lovely mum had the same.

I once heard “why would I care what you think?” deployed to devastating effect on a random man. Beautiful moment.

I find it’s something someone from an older generation would say.

I worked in a bar and a regular customer said that to me, I just burst into tears and ran to the staff room, only for him to run after me a minute later after someone had told him my sibling was fighting for their life in ICU. He was so apologetic and said he would never say that to anyone ever again.

id never ever say that to anyone due to not knowing what’s happening in their life.

'Cheer up? I will when you ask him that' and nod towards the nearest big bloke.

My best retort was "Why?" Which rather confused the guy talking to me and really embarrassed my friend.

”I had to have my dog put down this morning.”

”My dad’s on a ventilator with covid.”

”I’ve got cancer.”

All super-effective ime.

Honestly just ignore them.