Toddler and level of illness? Help!

[Nurserycold]

AIBU?

Since my 1year old started nursery in July there has been back to back illnesses. High temperatures every week.

He's just finished a course of antibiotics for a throat infection (yesterday) and today come home from nursery with a temperature of almost 39degrees (watery eyes, runny nose).

Every night he is snotty and has had a dry cough for weeks.

Taken him to the doctors multiple times to be sent away and told viral (except when they spotted pus on tonsils and they gave antibiotics).

He's a good weight, active, happy, always been a healthy baby but since starting nursery he's either not been able to kick an original virus or is being hit by multiple viruses one after another after another - or is something else going off?

I'm supposed to be back at work, how do I manage this? People are just going to think I'm making this up now. It feels like it's an abnormal amount of sickness even for starting nursery.

If this isn't normal what should I be asking the doctor to do? If anything?

Yabu - this is normal - deal with it
Yanbu - yes one or two colds when starting nursery but 6 weeks of back to back sickness doesn't seem right!

I'm on the fence. DS has had 3 or 4 ear infections, 2 hospital stays for viral wheeze, 2 vomiting bugs, chicken pox, covid, conjunctivitis and a chest infection since November 2019. So not 6 weeks of back-to back illness but roughly a week off every 2 months? The only fair way is to split the time off if you are not a single parent.

I could have written this almost word for word! I have a 16 month old who has been in childcare since January and since then it has been illness after illness. Just constantly every 4-5 weeks on average, throat infections, tonsillitis, covid, vomiting bugs... you name it. It's utterly relentless and every time we've taken her to be seen at the doctors it's the same as you're being told: "just viral, perfectly normal at her age". At one point I queried whether she might have an underlying health condition as the frequency of illness seemed so abnormal. Doctor told me so long as she's "bouncing back to full health in between infections" then there's no cause for concern. 🤷‍♀️

I'm at my wits end with it too, partner and I just take turns to be off work with her every time it happens! It's such a nightmare. So I have no advice really, just wanted to say you're not alone and it's bloody relentless!

I should also mention that when she gets another respiratory viral infection she's unwell for a good 2 weeks or so, with constant snottiness and coughing. So it feels like she just recovers and then we are a matter of weeks away from the next one!

I also spent a lot of time at the doctor's office when my eldest daughter started nursery. He said putting a first child in nursery is like feeding her 'virus soup'. On the plus side he also said that when it comes to starting school you can always tell which children have been to nursery and which haven't, because the nursery kids are much more resilient at that point than those who didn't go. They get all those viruses a few years later.

It does get better year on year, the first year is the worst, and it's not nearly so bad when the next child goes because they've been exposed to the older child at home.

I've been there, OP. It's so hard, it really is but we've been assured by multiple HCP's this is normal, especially post covid. Solidarity though, it's relentless and exhausting trying to juggle work with poorly children.

Unfortunately part and parcel of nursery for some children.
I have 2 dc, one never ill ever, other repeated colds, coughs, tonsillitis, viral infections etc etc, in and out of hospital as a baby then toddler. Meningococcal septicaemia age 3, life saved by quick actions of GP and hospital. Tonsils and adenoids removed at 5. Progressively less illnesses after that. He’s now 6ft strapping young man.

Poor you. It’s a bit of a double whammy at the moment - it’s completely normal for kids to pick up everything going when they start nursery/school plus there really is an increase in viruses and bugs going round after lockdowns and distancing.

Dd is 6 and continued in childcare/school as a key worker child so was theoretically still getting some exposure but she’s been constantly ill since Easter.

I've seen quite a few threads about this op, so it sounds like you're definitely not alone! GPs seem to be advising that lockdown is a major factor to consider with this, with babies having a lack of exposure to the usual bugs.

Normal. Nurseries are plague pits.

First 6 months of my son starting nursery he was basically ill.
Picked up everything.

I had a friend whose baby was ALWAYS ill and she always said it's because of the nursery. I wasn't convinced and thought he's probably not eating properly or just prone to illnesses etc (yes I was judgemental but there's more to our relationship 😅). Fast forward a couple of months and my then 1-year-old started nursery and he was ill constantly for the first couple of months. He had literally everything, including HFM, chickenpox and various colds, fevers and vomiting bugs. It was relentless, and I found it really hard to ask for my boss for more and more time off. It did settle after a while and DS is rarely ill these days.

And soft plays… we go but not often, invariably dd starts with something not long after a visit.

Its normal when going straight into a large nursery.

I used a childminder with only 3 young kids plus a few school pick ups, and it was nowhere near as bad. They did subsequently get a few more bugs when starting preschool at 3 but being a little older, weren't knocked for 6 by them in the same way.

July? They’ve not even been there 6 weeks!!

get ready for winter, that’s all I can say 🫤😬😬

I think adults isolating really didnt help. Normally you have a huge population of reasonably immune adults who don't necessarily get ill and infectious/contagious with everything, so maybe pass less on. Two years of Covid means adult immunity waned a bit, I can only imagine that means we are now catching more (temporarily) and thus passing more back and forth with our kids.

My DD (16 months) has a childminder and she has a new viral infection at least once a month. She's never been to a nursery so I can't compare but this is bad enough! Can't imagine any worse with her being in a larger nursery 😫

Started his first settling session on w/c 27th June. Started going regularly w/c 4th July.

It took mine about 15 months to constantly stop catching bugs

The nursery staff keep saying- oh he has been hit hard, which has made me think it's not that normal.

How do people manage work? What do you say to your bosses?

We don't have any family nearby. DH travels most weeks with work.

On top of that my work are cracking down on people being in the office on set days. Honestly think I'm going to get dragged through a disciplinary soon enough. I'm supposed to be in tomorrow. Gave assurances that my kid was well and I'd be there. Meetings have been scheduled, signed off this evening saying I absolutely will be in tomorrow and tonight a 39 degree temperature.

I think I've hit a bit of a limit mentally. I just can't imagine what I'm going to say tomorrow.

Do you give him supplements? Does he get enough sun/exercise? Do they promote hand washing and keep water bottles separate?

@Nurserycold

Yep, I hit my limit with it too recently and just broke down crying at work when I got yet another call from the childminder that she was unwell. DP and I also have no family help nearby so we are just juggling between us deciding who's "turn" it is to be off with her. It's absolute hell and I reckon my employer is reaching the point of possibly saying it needs to be unpaid going forwards as it happens so often.

It’s ‘normal’ but awful. I started a thread a while back as we are 2 years into nursery yet DD still gets sick every 5-6 weeks. During the first year it was every 2-3 weeks. Absolutely hellish, it’s given me health anxiety about her and basically ruined the last 2 years of my life. It’s worse post-covid apparently (of course 🙄). In short, prepare for more months of this, although hopefully he won’t pick up as much as DD who must hold some kind of record.

Also didn't help that one of my colleagues helpfully said: "she's poorly again?! What is wrong with that child?!"

Safe to say that was not a helpful response. 🙄

Some kids are just far more prone to things or take much longer to shake things off. DD brought home a lot of stuff when she started nursery but she shook it off quickly and it was me and DH who ended up suffering the most! But some of her wee pals get hit really hard by everything and get temperatures and have to be off nursery. It seems a bit of the luck of the draw.

High dose of vitamin D for you all is a good idea!

It is normal so long as he's healthy between illnesses. It is very shit, I'm sorry. There are a couple of threads running about this. Mine is 3.5, been going to nursery since 1 but with lockdowns at home. I generally expect him to get ill every 2-3 weeks, though it does seem to be getting better now (not sure if that's summer or immunity building). Sometimes you get runs of 3-4 illnesses in quick succession, which is really shit.

Anyone at work with young children will have been through it. You can take dependants leave unpaid. It is really hard - definitely make sure your husband stays at home when he can, to take the pressure off you. We take it in turns unless one is especially busy.