Toddler and level of illness? Help!

[Nurserycold]

AIBU?

Since my 1year old started nursery in July there has been back to back illnesses. High temperatures every week.

He's just finished a course of antibiotics for a throat infection (yesterday) and today come home from nursery with a temperature of almost 39degrees (watery eyes, runny nose).

Every night he is snotty and has had a dry cough for weeks.

Taken him to the doctors multiple times to be sent away and told viral (except when they spotted pus on tonsils and they gave antibiotics).

He's a good weight, active, happy, always been a healthy baby but since starting nursery he's either not been able to kick an original virus or is being hit by multiple viruses one after another after another - or is something else going off?

I'm supposed to be back at work, how do I manage this? People are just going to think I'm making this up now. It feels like it's an abnormal amount of sickness even for starting nursery.

If this isn't normal what should I be asking the doctor to do? If anything?

Yabu - this is normal - deal with it
Yanbu - yes one or two colds when starting nursery but 6 weeks of back to back sickness doesn't seem right!

Oh I’ve had that so many times. From my MIL who thinks I have munchausen by proxy, to my employer who doesn’t have kids and I’m sure thinks I just love a duvet day watching CBeebies when I can’t be arsed to work. If only - there’s nothing more hellish than being sat up in the middle of a night with a crying, vomiting toddler.

@Wouldloveanother

Exactly! Looking after a sick baby/toddler is just grim, who would choose that over work?!

Honestly that comment infuriated me. She doesn't have kids, either. So of course she doesn't get it. Whereas my lovely colleague who is also a mother was entirely sympathetic and lovely about it when I got yet another dreaded call.

And I think it's bloody hard if you do have a kid who catches everything and catches it badly/reacts to everything with a high temp. I don't know how you balance that with work unless your work is v flexible or have family back-up for childcare.

And it's very unfair that it's just the luck of the draw whether you have a kid who gets hit hard or not. DD just doesn't get temps, she's literally never had one in 3.5 years, and I've never had to pick her up unwell from nursery. But one of her pals gets a temp when anyone looks at her and has to picked up from nursery every other week.

It is normal so long as he's healthy between illnesses.

This is exactly what I've been told by both my GP and an A&E paediatrician when my DD has been unwell. It doesn't help, as you want answers and a reason for the constant illness. But they can't give you one. If I had a pound for every time a medic has used the phrase "just viral" in reference to my toddler .......

OP on a practical basis sign up to a baby sitting agency if you feel comfortable with the idea and they will provide emergency care for your DC ( at a price) if you have important meetings etc- you can often arrange to get the same one every time come to your home so they have a rapport - it’s awful juggling children’s illness with a career in those first years - it does get abit better when they start school .. well a little bit better! X

My youngest was exactly like this in nursery, it's an absolute nightmare if your the default/only parent who has to take time off work plus seeing your baby poorly all the time is awful. I can't vote either way because honestly it's both. It is normal but it shouldnt be but I don't know what the solution is either.

I mean, I wouldn’t have believed it before I had kids! I would’ve thought they were taking the mickey. So I don’t blame her really, but I wish I could (in a totally non paranoid way haha) show her a livestream of what looking after a sick child actually entails. Crying, ladling calpol down their throat, cleaning up vomit, lying on their floor, being woken every half an hour, the worry that makes your stomach knot. Calls to 111, more vomit, trying to do saline nose sprays.. omg, I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say it’s given me PTSD.

I think normal. DD didn't do a full week for 2 months when she started nursery but hardly ever got sick after that.

It does ease off after a while (at least in my experience)

It sounds fairly normal unfortunately, especially after the pandemic. I think ours averages a cold (with or without a fever) every 1 - 2 weeks and something more significant every 4 weeks.

come home from nursery with a temperature of almost 39degrees (watery eyes, runny nose). Every night he is snotty and has had a dry cough for weeks.

Does he seem to get better at home? If so it may actually be allergies. It’s a common misconception that an allergic reaction can’t lead to a fever, but you can if it causes you to then have a secondary infection.

So, he may be allergic to the cleaning products or air freshener or other substance at the nursery. This then leads to sinus congestion and mucous build up, causing the bacteria multiply and a secondary sinus infection plus fever develops.

@Wouldloveanother

Oh god I can relate to all of that. Hellish nightmare isn't it. Calls to 111 at 2am asking them if your baby's breathing is normal or not as it's too fast.... lying awake with awful anxiety, clearing up sick, the crying, the lack of sleep, catching the bug yourself and having to keep going. Utterly fucking grim and relentlessly exhausting. Wouldn't wish a constantly unwell baby / toddler on anyone, least of all a working parent. 😩

This is so normal and so misunderstood by employers. Mine let me take holiday but was annoyed it was getting so frequent until I pointed out my partner was doing twice as much as me! About 8-10 months things later things calmed down a lot.

This is it! It's the temperature! Nursery will take kids with coughs and colds - as long as they don't have a temperature! Whenever someone coughs near mine, his temperature goes up to 40 degrees!

The doctor said that temperatures are a good thing - it shows a strong immune response....unfortunately that's not the yard stick the nursery use though!

I'd expect it to go on all winter I'm afraid.

This. All of this!

It's a really tough time,OP.

I was a SAHM for nearly 3 years with my 2nd (and last dc) and did the school gate thing for my elder dc

Naïvely thought dc2 would have good immunity because dc1 was surely bringing bugs home from school, right? plus I was lucky enough to do extended bf.

Well. Nope, and nope. Picked up tons of bugs.

I will say the bounce-back was quick each time and he didn't get a shit-load of ENT infections with every single fucking tooth like poor dc1.

However he did get chicken pox later and was quite poorly.

Get the chicken pox vax people.

It wasn't even talked about much here when dc was small (14 now).

It becomes easier @Nurserycold , promise

Back in the old days of covid they weren't allowed in nursery with a cough unless they'd had a PCR test..bloody nightmare.

I have wondered.....but where to start trying to figure it out, I wouldn't have a clue.

When I picked him up from nursery he seemed OK. About 30 minutes after I noticed the glazed watery eyes......an hour after that temperature was 38.9 degrees.

We haven't been anywhere all weekend except for a couple of shops. We had a quiet one because I wanted him to get better.

Some kids are like this and it’s shit.

But it DOES get better but it’s unbelievably hard and I really empathise.

Yup mine spikes a fever every bloody time too. As do I. Rarely snotty, but every virus means he (and I) have a high fever.

That was especially fun during Covid, when every fever meant a rush to the testing site asap so we could stand a chance of getting him back to nursery within 48 hours. It was relentless - I think we were up to about 18 tests between July 2020 and whenever it stopped.

It's not just fever that's a problem either. My DD has had so many respiratory infections that she coughs to the point of vomiting. Even when she's relatively well and improving, temp is back down etc, she would eat her breakfast then cough so much that she vomited. Of course, any vomiting means another 48 hrs away from the childminder. Even though she's not got a vomiting bug, just a lingering cough from the chest infection! It's a fucking nightmare of epic proportions and I don't know what the answer is!

@Nurserycold I’ve voted YABU, but obviously because I think you’re being unreasonable / difficult if you get me! It’s normal, but awful and horrible and I’m so sorry.

i haven’t read all the replies, so I’m sure this is similar to others, but I honestly could have written this myself. My boy had countless chest infections, ear infections, rashes, sickness bugs in the first 2 months. He honestly didn’t smile for about 6 weeks. It was awful. I was constantly at the doctor, and was very close to going again to demand someone look at him closely as I was convinced there was something dangerously wrong with him, but it very quickly got better. His immune system is amazing now - he hasn’t been ill in about 5 months - he’s had a runny nose but it doesn’t bother him.

i would say he has 3-4 horrible weeks ahead of him, and then he will be fine. Thank goodness he’s at nursery now and isn’t waiting until school to get the germs.

hang in there. Sending lots of love to you both x

Oh I feel for you. Trying to shove a swab up a screaming toddler’s nose is just awful. I don’t think people really realise the affect it’s had on us (and them).

My one year old started in creche middle
of March and no lie he was sick every week for about 3 months. I had just gone back to work and started a new job too, it was hell and so so stressful. He even ended up having 4 febrile seizures and was hospitalised for a week. Swear I’ve PTSD too! He’s been temp/sick free for 6 weeks now, which is a record so I hope it’s all settled but it’s a very stressful situation