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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What level of adventure do you think is acceptable?

92 replies

BearGryllsDad · 08/08/2022 16:07

Have name changed for this so not identifiable...

Now its the summer, dh has some time off (teacher) whilst I still have to work. He is therefore doing a lot more of the childcare.

To be fair to him, he is quite engaged with the DC, but takes them on what I would describe as "bear grylls style adventurers" outdoors that involve a fair bit of challenge. Think mountain biking, road riding, canoeing, water stuff, fishing on a fishing boat. They are still quite young (both primary). He takes precautions such as helmets and life jackets of course.

AIBU to worry when he's out with them? They seem to love the adventure generally and I get that it's great for their development. But AIBU just wanting him to take them to a museum or something, just once!?

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 08/08/2022 16:09

My children would love that.

Generally, do you think he has a good grasp of risk assessment?
Are the kids enjoying it?

yonce · 08/08/2022 16:10

I mean kindly YABU - they shouldn't be plopping off to a museum to abate your worries, and it sounds like he's taking lots of precautions and they're all having a fab time 😊 and tbh sounds 10 times more fun! I'd have loved summer holiday memories like that 😊

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 08/08/2022 16:11

Are the children happy? Does he know enough to be able to do this safely? It sounds like a lot of fun and nothing you have said so far is worrying.

dehloh · 08/08/2022 16:12

It doesn't matter how much a man engages, he is never right on here.

It sounds like your husband and children are having a great time through the holidays, maybe that's the problem, that they are doing it without you?

Original poster
BearGryllsDad · 08/08/2022 16:13

Generally, do you think he has a good grasp of risk assessment?

This is a good question. His bar is set differently than mine. But doesn't mean mine is right. I'm more risk averse.

OP posts:
Dipsy12 · 08/08/2022 16:13

He sounds awesome!

Boybandfacedfannyfart · 08/08/2022 16:13

I wish my ex had even an ounce of adventure in him. Instead when he has custody the kids stare at the walls and watch tv.

Original poster
BearGryllsDad · 08/08/2022 16:15

It sounds like your husband and children are having a great time through the holidays, maybe that's the problem, that they are doing it without you?

Not at all. I'm relishing the opportunity to go and do my own thing, like an exercise class etc. Why on earth would I be jealous of my own children?!

OP posts:
MrsElm · 08/08/2022 16:15

If you think they would benefit from a trip to a museum, then you can take them on a weekend?

Boxowine · 08/08/2022 16:16

Sounds like a great dad. Your children are very lucky to be able to experience both of your interests.

Original poster
BearGryllsDad · 08/08/2022 16:16

If you think they would benefit from a trip to a museum, then you can take them on a weekend?

I think I will. The eldest is looking a bit weary of the constant "adventure".

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 08/08/2022 16:16

It sounds great while the weather is good - there's plenty of time for museums in winter.

Just be glad you don't have to get involved Grin

MermaidSwimming · 08/08/2022 16:17

Sounds like a great summer to me, I would be joining them when time allows

WaveyHair · 08/08/2022 16:18

YABU - kids should be outside taking on life skills. As long as he is taking sensible precautions like bike helmets let them carry on.

Yes, there maybe the odd minor accident but that is all part of life experience.

PuttingDownRoots · 08/08/2022 16:18

If they genuinely looking tired, suggest a few quiet days!

LeFeu · 08/08/2022 16:18

Sounds amazing - wish my DH would do this more!

Augend23 · 08/08/2022 16:19

Trips like that are what summer memories are made of! I bet they will remember it even more fondly than they spend the time. Good idea to mix it up at weekends.

Chasingrainbows16 · 08/08/2022 16:20

YABU for the stealth boast!! 😜

dehloh · 08/08/2022 16:20

BearGryllsDad · 08/08/2022 16:15

It sounds like your husband and children are having a great time through the holidays, maybe that's the problem, that they are doing it without you?

Not at all. I'm relishing the opportunity to go and do my own thing, like an exercise class etc. Why on earth would I be jealous of my own children?!

I didn't mean or even say you were jealous.

I meant it's out of your control, safety wise. So if you were there to oversee you would be happier.

Not sure why you jumped to jealousy.

pumpkinpie01 · 08/08/2022 16:20

That sounds brilliant, kids love that kind of stuff

Discovereads · 08/08/2022 16:21

Save the museums for cold & rainy days. Summer is the time for adventures! Mine loved zip lining the most.

pinkyredrose · 08/08/2022 16:25

He sounds great!

By 'risk averse' do you mean your over protective?

By learning these skills he's enabled them to have better life skills which will ultimately keep them safer.

Original poster
BearGryllsDad · 08/08/2022 16:27

I meant it's out of your control, safety wise. So if you were there to oversee you would be happier

Well yes, that's the entire point of the post

OP posts:
Original poster
BearGryllsDad · 08/08/2022 16:28

By 'risk averse' do you mean your over protective?

Well quite possibly as my mother was quite over protective.

By learning these skills he's enabled them to have better life skills which will ultimately keep them safer.

This is a good way of looking at it.

OP posts:
amicissimma · 08/08/2022 16:29

"BETTER DROWNED THAN DUFFERS IF NOT DUFFERS WON'T DROWN."

However she really felt, Mrs Walker did a good job in supporting her children.