Would you have expected DP to have checked by now?

[neptunenov]

Been together 10 years (don't live together). Told him I had tested positive for covid early evening yesterday. His reply was 'I hope you don't feel too ill with it'.

Not a dickie bird from him since. No 'just checking your night wasn't too bad'/'how are you feeling today?'/'have you everything you need?'. Nothing.

Am I expecting too much here? I've been feeling for a while that he takes me for granted/is just not that into me anymore and I'm starting to read his silence as just one more sign of lacking care and affection.

I feel absolutely dreadful, had an awful night and had to come back to bed all this morning which is so unlike me. Prepared to accept I'm unjustifiably just feeling sorry for myself here but I know I would have checked him if the tables were turned.

I’m sorry you’re feeling let down, I’d be hurt too ☹️.

Wishing you a speedy recovery 💐 x

Did you respond to that message?
How much do you normally communicate?

I'm sorry you're feeling unwell
That's really shit of him
I'd be really hurt too, especially in a 10 year relationship

Is he at work? If I'm at work, I wouldn't think to text anybody tbh.

Hope you feel better soon.

Is there a reason why you don't live together?

What is he like in general?

I'd be really hurt by that.

The not living together is irrelevant - you're in a long term committed relationship.

What’s he like normally when you’re unwell?

DH hates fuss and wants to be left alone, but he knows I like a bit of fuss and want to be asked.

After 10 years - is this a normal reaction from him or would he have previously been more attentive?

What's he doing today? High stress job? Out on site? All day board meeting? 6am Flight to the US?

There are some things that don't allow for personal calls easily. Maybe check he doesn't have anything major going on too, before you get too upset.

Depends on your circumstances. If, for example, my fit and healthy 25 year old told me they had covid, I think that message is more than enough. If it was my 78y/o mum, maybe not.

Assuming you're a relatively healthy adult and today is a work day for him, I think you're overreacting.

How much do you normally communicate?

Tbh I wouldn't be overly concerned about someone with covid atm - the variants going around seem to be pretty mild. That said, a check in/ "hope you are feeling ok" wouldn't go amiss from a partner, but depends a little on what your relationship is like normally.

Not a high stress job, no. He can have meetings but none that last all day. In any case, he had booked a day off work today as the original intention (a suggestion on my part) was that it would be nice to spend quality time with each other. Then I got Covid.

He was usually more attentive previously, yes.

No, I didn't reply to the message. I actually read it as a little dismissive at the time but was prepared to accept that that was a biased reading based on my feeling he isn't really caring anymore. Besides, I was out of it yesterday. Then when no message came this morning, I just felt a bit neglected tbh.

If my partner told me he had covid I might send one message but no, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Same as if he told me he had a bad cold. So unfortunately I don't think he's being unreasonable.

I have no idea if he has cancelled that day's leave. Previously, we'd drop each other a text every day, to check in, given we don't live together.

If he sent the last message then the ball is now in your court to reply to tell him how you are feeling.

To be fair, he hasn't asked. He just said in his previous message that he hopes I don't have it too bad.

If it was the other way round, I would check in at least daily, either before work, in my lunch break or when I got home, it's hardly a big ask, is it? Surely you'd want to know how someone you loved was feeling?

No, I didn't reply to the message.

Hes probably waiting for your reply to his message?

My husband works abroad, and I've only seen him for a couple of weeks this year. In the time he's been away I have so far had covid, had a miscarriage and a surgery. He texts me every single morning without fail, throughout the day, has offered to fly home on multiple occasions. Not to mention we have 5 children. He's doing a full on role but makes time for me.

So, I'd be quite annoyed if I was in your situation. The not living together is irrelevant, and he's got the day off work! It's knowing he's thinking of you, and shows care and consideration.

The not replying puts the ball in your court. You can post on here.

Reply to his message if you want his attention.

The not replying puts the ball in your court. You can post on here.

I guess my point is that he doesn't know I can post and he hasn't bothered to check in. I might have been hospitalised, or without paracetamol, or anything really. I have actually run out of paracetamol and obviously can't nip to the shop to get some. No family nearby either.

I don't know, perhaps I am expecting too much. However, I see it against a broader backdrop of diminishing care/affection

I guess my point is that he doesn't know I can post and he hasn't bothered to check in. I might have been hospitalised, or without paracetamol, or anything really.

How do you know he hasn't been hospitalised? It's a bit daft.

I'd be really hurt by this OP
I hope you are feeling better soon.

YABU

It sounds like you’re trying to find something to be upset about.
Maybe it’s because you’re ill so you’re just feeling a bit sorry for yourself.

You didn’t reply to his last text and he’s more than likely busy today.
Either he’s at work, having a long lie in or out for the day if he’s got a day off.
There are a million reasons why he hasn’t texted you yet.

Do you think you are just over the relationship?