Would you have expected DP to have checked by now?

[neptunenov]

Been together 10 years (don't live together). Told him I had tested positive for covid early evening yesterday. His reply was 'I hope you don't feel too ill with it'.

Not a dickie bird from him since. No 'just checking your night wasn't too bad'/'how are you feeling today?'/'have you everything you need?'. Nothing.

Am I expecting too much here? I've been feeling for a while that he takes me for granted/is just not that into me anymore and I'm starting to read his silence as just one more sign of lacking care and affection.

I feel absolutely dreadful, had an awful night and had to come back to bed all this morning which is so unlike me. Prepared to accept I'm unjustifiably just feeling sorry for myself here but I know I would have checked him if the tables were turned.

I’m far from a ‘cool wife’, but I don’t understand why you haven’t text him back. If I was him, I would presume you’re resting and wouldn’t contact you in case I woke you up. He’s your partner, if you want anything, ask. I wouldn’t expect him to offer because as your partner he’s the obvious person to just ask. With friends I’d offer help because they might worry about being a burden, but with a partner, I’d expect them to ask and if obviously just do what they needed.

It sounds like you’re playing games or wanting him to worry about you. After 10 years together, just reply to his text and be straight forward. 🤷🏻‍♀️ If I was him and hadn’t had a reply from you in maybe 36 hours, I’d contact you to make sure you’re ok. But I’d be a bit wtf about why you hadn’t just sent a quick text when it turned out you were awake and perfectly capable.

I hope you feel better soon.

From my opinion you are overreacting. A lot of people to consider covid as more than a minor inconvenience, he might be one of them. But most importantly it was childish not to reply to his text because it wasn't sufficiently concerned from your view. It is entirely possible he is a selfish bastard, but this episode in isolation wouldn't point to this direction.

@girlmom21 come round for a curry?!??? You want him to catch covid too?? “Trotted out the covid line”??

and that’s not just covid - don’t invite me round if you have the general flu, the shits, shingles, anything contagious

Er, surely this is a bit of a non-event? We will all have Covid multiple times, after all. What I don't understand is 1) why you took a test and 2) why you bothered to tell your partner? Tbh, I feel sorry for him having to deal with so much drama!

Exactly! Who wants to expose themselves to something contagious if they don't have to 🙄

I know everyone’s different. But my close friends group have had covid check in and check if they need anything at the start but maybe not every day. People are at work and so on.

I’d expect a long term partner of ten years to do so though but I’m not that surprised. If we didn’t live together my partner wouldn’t text a lot either I don’t think. Although he would check if I needed anything. He does look after me when I’m ill tho in person.

Also day2/3 of covid I felt very emotional so that might have some bearings on your upset.

This is intentionally obtuse surely. If you genuinely can’t process the idea that some people might have valid reasons for treating Covid differently to you then you must be actually quite thick.

@User8273738273737 Plenty of people carry on as normal with covid.

And yeah trotted out the covid line. No apology. No nothing from OP. Just 'i have covid' which we all know is code for I'm cancelling our plans and that's that.

Urgh people test because they feel like shite with it ( not just a sniffle) and covid cases are high even without testing. Many of us also work in jobs where we work with the public or vulnerable people and want to not spread it around.

I have a vulnerable parent I’d rather not give it to as Covid is still very much around and causing hospitalisations and deaths every week. Many countries have gone back to normal but still encourage testing and isolation for good public health. It’s

it’s not dramatic to tell someone what’s wrong with you FFS.

Lots of people think covid is just like having a normal cold so have less sympathy, until they get it themselves.

Obviously there are different strains and some do get it worse than others but it’s still not nice.

Use your energy on taking care of yourself and getting better.

I hope you get better soon 💐

You think op should apologise for being ill? Come on 🤣

@EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall no I don't think she should apologise for being ill. I think she should apologise for having to cancel their plans - especially as he'd booked annual leave. She'll be able to get that back. He won't.

I’m not surprised at the comments on here. Mention COVID and instantly you’ll get a barrage of comments about it being “just a cold” blah blah. That’s despite the fact there are countless posts in here from people who’ve recently had covid and been really grotty with it.

covid might not be hospitalising/killing people but it can still be a deeply unpleasant virus. Unfortunately there’s a proportion of people who just aren’t willing to acknowledge that, bizarrely.

OP, hope you start feeling better soon. Can someone bring you Paracetamol? Has he checked in with you yet?

I’m not a diva in any sense but if I’m ill I would absolutely expect him to check in to see how I’m feeling first thing in the morning. I’d expect that with any rotten flu/heavy cold etc. Even just to check you have lemsips, tissues etc. I’d do that for a friend (and have done very recently) let alone a DP. Sadly it maybe is a reflection of an overall lack of care. Get yourself better first and then decide what’s next when you’re in a better state of mind.

I’m not surprised at the comments on here. Mention COVID and instantly you’ll get a barrage of comments about it being “just a cold” blah blah. That’s despite the fact there are countless posts in here from people who’ve recently had covid and been really grotty with it.

covid might not be hospitalising/killing people but it can still be a deeply unpleasant virus. Unfortunately there’s a proportion of people who just aren’t willing to acknowledge that, bizarrely.

OP, hope you start feeling better soon. Can someone bring you Paracetamol? Has he checked in with you yet?

I’m not a diva in any sense but if I’m I’ll I would absolutely expect him to check in to see how I’m feeling first thing in the morning. I’d expect that with any rotten flu/heavy cold etc. Even just to check k you have lemsips, tissues etc.

He sent the last message. You didn't bother replying (even though "I hope you're not feeling too bad" would normally lead most people to answer the implied question). I don't get how he's the unreasonable one or why you expect him to read your mind if you refuse to communicate properly. He asked you how you were and you blanked him!

Every time someone's told me they have Covid in the past couple of years I've responded "sorry to hear that, hope the symptoms aren't too bad" (knowing there's a huge range of answers to that). Then they usually reply. If they don't reply I'd assume the symptoms are just mild and the conversation is over (or they don't especially want to talk about their symptoms and don't require help).

"I'm feeling really rough, would you be able to drop off some paracetamol" is a perfectly normal thing to say and I'm not sure why you wouldn't just say it if it applied to you. I've never once been able to telepathically sense when anyone needs paracetamol.

Is there something behind this? Have you felt otherwise neglected by him of late? Are you wanting to cohabit now and he’s not keen? It seems like a perfectly normal message to me.

He should definitely be checking in on you and seeing if you need anything. I have done that with friends and family members and certainly would with a partner.

He might have done if she’d said she was feeling unwell with it. Most people I know who’ve had Covid in the last 9 months have been absolutely fine.

I hear you OP. Ignore tbe men/cool wives. I think there is a slew of people who are on here just to be as unpleasant as possible.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting your partner to give a shit. If me or husbands are Ill, we care for each other. In your shoes id be feeling abandoned, It does sound as if this is bigger than just being ill. Might be time for a chat about the relationship in general.

Hope you feel better soon, sounds horrendous

Ignore tbe men/cool wives

Is having a difference of opinion being a cool wife?

What an odd question.
Do you ask cohabiting posters why they DO live together, @Crunchymum?

* @She'll be able to get that back. He won't.*

Yes, he would have got it back. If he decided not to take it having been told on Sunday at 5pm I had Covid, he'd have just logged in on Monday and the annual leave would have been overridden.

I now have meds dropped off by a caring friend so all good on that score.

Re 'is there something else going on here'. I think I've already said I've increasingly felt he was losing interest. If it's the case he wants to end the relationship, then the ending needs to be done with care and respect for what we both had these past 10 years.

Re 'is there something else going on here'. I think I've already said I've increasingly felt he was losing interest. If it's the case he wants to end the relationship, then the ending needs to be done with care and respect for what we both had these past 10 years.

OP you are falling into the very human trap of overthinking & catastrophising.

Because you feel that he is losing interest, you are looking for proof. Because that makes you feel insecure, instead of speaking up, you are setting tests.

Yes, he should have been more solicitous in his text - but maybe he's just one of those people who think Covid is no biggie & that you have mild symptoms. And he did ask about your symptoms - but you are refusing to answer him!
Do you see what I mean about that being a test?

Why not message him now "sorry I didn't respond last night but yeah am feeling completely shit & sorry for myself! What are you doing with your day now we can't go?"
Then start communicating normally again FFS.

When you feel better - & not before - what you need to do is stop hoping, hinting & testing & start SPEAKING UP. You've been together long enough to talk about anything. Tell him you feel his interest is dwindling, that this concerns you, so you'd like to know how he's feeling about the relationship.

If you can't do that, all that is happening is that you are burying your head in the sand. That will make you feel more resentful & powerless, you will likely respond with more 'testing' (because it feels safer than asking a direct question), & you will slowly drive a wedge between you.

Fuck the fuck off with that nonsense. Why wouldn't she tell her partner of ten years that she has covid? Does the 17 in your user name equate to your IQ?

You haven't offered a difference of opinion. You implied the OP was in the wrong for not texting back. You might like to be treated like your partner doesn't give a shit about you but the OP hasnt said that. If my bloke was ill and hadn't text me back I would follow it up out of concern. Anyone normal would.