To ask if this is too much effort for a holiday

[Auntiejohnfromjamaica]

Am I mad to try to make this holiday work?

PILs have surprised us with a villa booking in Greece next year, for them, us and BIL and his wife.

We were so excited as it’s somewhere we have always wanted to go, but I’ve been looking at travel and it’s so complicated.

PILs and BIL+SIL live near London and don’t have kids. We are further north, don’t live that close to any airports, the closest ones to us don’t fly to this destination, and we will have a 18 month old and 4 year old with us.

I think we have two choices. Drive 1 hour to nearest airport, take a low cost flight to one place then another low cost flight to actual destination. would have to be Hand luggage only :(

Or we drive four hours (setting off midnight) to London and take direct flight.

First option seems more expensive but I haven’t priced up fuel and parking.

PILs won’t be impressed if we don’t go. And won’t really understand about the kids, and how long it’ll take, and the price (we are on a budget).

So I suppose my question is - would you bother?
YABU - make it work, it’s worth it!
YANBU - too much effort, don’t go

OP, I think you need to sit down with a piece of paper and a calculator and work out the different costs for your options. Then you can make a sensible decision.

I hadn't quite noticed- although you did clearly state it - that PILs weren't covering the flights, just the accommodation. I'd also look at the other end - car hire costs abroad have gone up exponentially since covid so factor that in if you need one.

If it's genuinely unaffordable then you thank ILs for their kind offer but decline. If it's more lots of what ifs about how the DCs will survive the journey etc. then you should go.

A large proportion of the country have to drive this distance to get to the airport. It’s really not an issue unless you make it one. Stay with family/ travel lodge the night before or drive from midnight and let kids sleep in the car. It’s not comfortable but air travel generally isn’t.

@Blaggertyjibbet
“I think you will really enjoy yourself once you are there, especially as you have grandparents around to help!”
Hopefully OP will enjoy it and the grandparents and other relatives will help. You can’t assume that they will help though. If this had been my ILs or parents they would have expected us to run around doing things for them all the time, just like they did at home, we would have had no help with the kids at all, not even an evening’s babysitting. So I wouldn’t have accepted, knowing that they were bringing us along to be their servants for the week. Again I do hope the OP’s in-laws are not like this.

People who don't see the issue

flight costs
travel to airport costs
potential airport hotel costs

potential 4 hour drive which a lot of us find stressful - in my case, even without children

no idea of costs on arrival e.g. meals etc

unknowns of children travelling. i struggled when my parents began taking us abroad and was often ill with it. Not all kids are bouncy and resilient.

how can you NOT see the issues?

Why are you nervy about the cost?
It is one night in a airport hotel and you’ll get a free holiday out of it!

I’ll take a punt op that you and your in law have history

Because anyone with a half decent relationship would be chatting about this rather than simply concluding without any discussion “they won’t be happy if we don’t come”

again, the holiday isn't free. The accommodation is.

We had a similar situation a few years ago going to a family villa holiday in corfu. We solved it by staying one night in a hotel when we arrived then travelled to the villa the next day. We left a day earlier to come home.

A year In advance.

Quick off the mark and she will get flights very reasonably priced.

but as I say - there will be a back story to the relationship with the In laws which means the Op will find obstacles

It's pretty easy, do what the majority of people do when they go on holiday.... travel down the night before, stay in a hotel, fly from London. Its only Greece not Australia so not massive flights.

It always surprises me how less stressful these things are with kids than anticipated. Go for it! 4 hour drive/airport hotel all sounds like totally doable options. It'll be lovely and hopefully you'll get a hand with the kids so you can relax a bit.

As others have said a large number of families start their holidays with a long drive to an airport, possibly the evening before an early flight - that's pretty much the whole raison d'etre for the large number of hotels adjacent to airport boundaries, and many of them offer stay/park/fly deals.

reasonably priced flights for 4....

okay, just me then. 🤷🏻‍♀️

1. Because some people here are jealous that OP has a free holiday offered.

2. Some are just being petty and fixating on the 4 hour drive rather than the obvious bigger picture

3. Some just love the race to the bottom brag about how they easily manage 12 hour drives with 5 kids and arrive on some beach in Italy in time to watch the sun rise

4. Some are wilfully ignorant of the fact that some parents and/or children could have physical, mental or neurodivergent issues that make travelling for very long durations potentially stressful or even traumatic. A lot of ableism here with people assuming that 4 hours in a car with two small children is perfectly normal and easy based solely in their own experience.

5. Some people probably know it's going to end badly but are just egging OP to take the trip out of schadenfreude

6 . some baffled that you wouldn’t talk to your family regarding this issue, instead preferring to start a mumsnet thread. Unless of course there’s a drip feed coming re the OP’s relationship with the in laws, which i would put money on!

This is why I live near 2 major airports (sorry to be no help whatsoever).

If it’s easier/ cheaper you could fly on Friday and stay a night at the airport the other end or fly on Sunday/Monday and have a shorter holiday. You’re not flying with the IL so you’ll have to get separate transport to the villa anyway.
your 18 month old will probably sleep in the car. The 4 year old is more tricky but with 2 adults one can get in the back and entertain them. Depending on your child and time of day they may also sleep in the car? Or go for the airport hotel with parking. You can often do it in reverse as well so the hotel when you come back. Depending on how much hanging around you have to do between leaving accommodation and flying I often find the journey back is longer and more tiring. Other option is to get a cheap hotel en route rather than one at the airport. It might be cheaper as booking this early you might get a £29 travelodge beside a main road! Personally I’d do it because I like holidays and you’ll have lots of adults there so hopefully you’ll get some rest! It’s up to you though, travelling to and from holiday is a pita

Some are wilfully ignorant of the fact that some parents and/or children could have physical, mental or neurodivergent issues that make travelling for very long durations potentially stressful or even traumatic. A lot of ableism here with people assuming that 4 hours in a car with two small children is perfectly normal and easy based solely in their own experience.

If that's an issue/genuine concern in this case why even begin to consider 4 hours single sector on an aircraft (London -> some Greek islands) or the back-up plan of a longer multi-sector day or even days?

A lot of ableism here with people assuming that 4 hours in a car with two small children is perfectly normal and easy based solely in their own experience.

fgs do we really need to consider every possible scenario when it comes to giving a view?

the op didn’t mention, and given would be quite relevant, I think safe to assume the children are NT 🙄

We don't live near a big airport and it's the only way to do it. 40 years of travel with and without DC. Early morning flight is best. Go the night before, book airport parking and hotel. Try Holiday Extras.
Often you can drop off your luggage at the airport the night before.

I totally understand your stress about this - there are a million potholes to travelling with children. A few thoughts….

Travel to an airport hotel the day before - go early PM so that the 18month old will nap most of the journey (and if you’re lucky, the 4 year old too). The other option is to drive at bedtime and then arrive around midnight - possibly more risky in terms of waking children to transfer, making sure room is ok / travel cot in place etc.

Whatever you do, incorporate nap time into the journey for sure. Audio books are also good for the journey.

Make your budget concerns clear to your PIL so that they are clear about how careful you need to be.

I voted YANBU because I genuinely can’t imagine a worse holiday than travelling that long with such small children and then having to share a villa with all my in laws.
If you want to holiday with your in laws I can imagine it being doable though.

I wrote the post while DH was at work. He got home a while ago and I’ve already told him many ideas inspired by the people on here who made suggestions and offered reassurances (read thread if you’re curious what that looks like).
no back story with in-laws I’m afraid, they’re fine. Live far away so we’re not all mega close, but they’re good people and have been generous to extend us this invite.

And wow I never expected my thread to attract so many comments. I appreciate people telling me it’ll be alright, and I am re-inspired to go for it! And I appreciate those who understand why I was initially nervous and shown empathy.
There have been some great ideas and suggestions about planning the trip, will be working through them all this evening. Thanks all x