To ask if this is too much effort for a holiday

[Auntiejohnfromjamaica]

Am I mad to try to make this holiday work?

PILs have surprised us with a villa booking in Greece next year, for them, us and BIL and his wife.

We were so excited as it’s somewhere we have always wanted to go, but I’ve been looking at travel and it’s so complicated.

PILs and BIL+SIL live near London and don’t have kids. We are further north, don’t live that close to any airports, the closest ones to us don’t fly to this destination, and we will have a 18 month old and 4 year old with us.

I think we have two choices. Drive 1 hour to nearest airport, take a low cost flight to one place then another low cost flight to actual destination. would have to be Hand luggage only :(

Or we drive four hours (setting off midnight) to London and take direct flight.

First option seems more expensive but I haven’t priced up fuel and parking.

PILs won’t be impressed if we don’t go. And won’t really understand about the kids, and how long it’ll take, and the price (we are on a budget).

So I suppose my question is - would you bother?
YABU - make it work, it’s worth it!
YANBU - too much effort, don’t go

I get it, @Auntiejohnfromjamaica

I love holidays and travelling, and love the research necessary to make it an easy and pleasant experience for everyone. It's no fun when someone just springs a surprise on you, especially one that turns out to be very convenient for those without children (who have chosen and booked the event).

Will they really have taken into account things that make it fun for DC? An unfenced pool could turn in from a lovely experience into one fraught with very real danger

What are there expectations of how it will all works when you get there? Are there staff, or will you all share the cooking and household activities. It would be lovely if the child free did the cooking etc. and left you free to entertain the family. Will they look at you askance for having less time free to contribute?

Will the food be geared to all tastes or just their own ?

Are you expected to be at the table for breakfast and then all go out together ? Any objections to you sloping off to your room for a breather.

I've had some lovely and some less lovely group holidays. The ones which work well are either where we all happened to enjoy the same things or where some discussions were had and everyone is open to accommodating each other.

A surprise already booked with no chance of input and less convenient for you than for them is a warning sign in my book.

A bit of a talk I'd really called for here.

What I was going to suggest. Assume you can drive to them, leave car on drive?

Am I the only person thinking YANBU for the OP? Gonna be perfectly honest, the journey there and back sounds like hell. 4 hours away from an airport, plus the waiting times there, plus the flying and the additional transfer in Greece. Also holidays with kids are not holidays. You don't arrive at the villa and unwind at the pool. You'll be rushing to the supermarket and trying to get the right food/snacks for the kids and trying to settle them into their nap routine. It might be too hot or too cold (holiday places always have unpredictable aircon), the house might not be fully kid-proof, the wifi is going to be non-existent so you can't access any online videos to keep the kids quiet for a bit, and there won't be any toys or any of the usual entertainment you have at home. The rest of the family will be relaxing at the pool which is exactly what they signed up for and you can be certain that nobody is going to be "helping" you the way people assume when they rent a house with family.

Also don't be swayed by the phrase "Greek Villa". There are thousands of Airbnbs in Greece, Croatia & Italy that market themselves as villas but are actually quite cheap and basic. They're simply large new-build homes with a pool and that's about it. Usually there are issues with the air-con, internet, plumbing, etc. When split between a lot of the people, the price is less than a 3star hotel and the amenities are similar. We did one of those last year which was nice but honestly nothing mind-blowing.

The genuinely best option would be to leave the kids with the other PILs (if at all possible) and go just the two of you.

Ignore the offers of 'valet parking' near the airport, they just park it on the street somewhere mostly. As nearly everyone has said, book the overnight hotel the night before the flight at a hotel with parking and a shuttle bus. Your children will most likely be in a state of high excitement on this. No need for time off school/work, leave home at 7pm on the Friday, miss some of the rush hour traffic. Travel light, you can buy tshirts and towels when you get there.

Don't piss about finding different flights, or going to Athens and getting ferries. Go with the PIL.

We’ve stayed at Gatwick airport hotel night before, we also dropped off baggage at airport in the evening, had cheap MacDonalds. Breakfast and parking was in included and hotel provided a coach to airport in the morning. The hotel wasn’t much more than the parking costs and we had a 4 bed family room. If you can book it now, you may get a good bargain. My 2 sons loved it.

The leaving at midnight and driving to London isn't that big of a deal is it? We did this every year when I was a kid, because flights were always first thing in the morning and we lived three hours from either London or Manchester (where the flights all went from in the 80s / early 90s).

My childhood holidays always began with a sleepy midnight car journey, it was fine.

Honestly just do it. As pp have said, drive down a day or two before and add it in as part of the holiday. It's next summer so plenty of time to plan / save. I'm a single parent and have done cross Europe trips with my two on trains and all sorts. Just be v organised with bookings / tickets etc. Have a lot of snacks and activities etc plus iPad / headphones etc and just take each step of the journey one at a time. A backpack for each child aube not your youngest) and you is a great idea then they can have their own supply of stuff and your hands are free. And apply for their passports now!!!

such negative comments on here?

PIL aren't daft - why assume they won't have factored in small children's needs in their choice of villa? Or that they won't ever cook food the kids might like?

If all you're paying for is flight and food then that's a cheap holiday in anyone's book? You'll have a block of 3 seats between you on the plane - and it's only 3-4 hours so not that bad? take devices and plug the kids in?

And an early start? mine were always delighted to travel in their PJs and change at the airport - was part of the fun.

Honestly OP go for it.

I've heard it all now.

Going on a free holiday with DCs is so stressful because of a longish drive at either end, that you'd be better leaving them at home.

If the OP had babysitting for a week she'd probably prefer to go away without her ILs I'd imagine.

Give it a go. It may work out, it might not, at least this way you'll find out with fairly low costs of your own involved.

I am amazed at how many people find a 4hour drive to an aiport something they do without a blink of an eye. Dtto throwing in a night at a hotel on the way in and out. I think I live in a different world.
I understand your worries OP.

It's a fuss because on MN a drive of over an hour is a major expedition and if there are children you can cut that to half an hour! A 4 hour drive through the night is simple, the alternative is to drive down the day before, stay somehwere near the airport, it's simple.

What is it that makes a 4-hour drive or a hotel stay so problematic for you? I can understand the cost being a hurdle, but the actual experience? I'm a little baffled that (presumably) able-bodied adults find these every day things such worrisome. I'm sure that reads snarkily, but I don't actually mean it to. I just don't understand how it's "a different world".

Op, it may seem like a very difficult journey to make or put into place but it’s actually very easy. Just head to London by train a couple of days before you’re due to fly to Greece and either stay with family or book into a hotel. You could even travel to he airport the day before you leave and book into an airport hotel. It really is as simple as this.

Kate, can you explain why you think it’s a difficult thing to do or why you think you live in a different world.

Don't go with the connecting flight option because the budget airlines don't do true connecting flights - you have to book 2 separate tickets and if the first flight is delayed or cancelled and you miss the 2nd leg of the journey you're screwed!
Stay with the in-laws if you can or book an airport hotel and go down the day before.

Agree that it's fairly standard going on holiday travelling! We have to drive 3+ hours to get to a major airport so it's just what we've always done. We stay with my parents the night before as they are near, so you can just do the same with in-laws surely? Definitely wouldn't miss out on a holiday for it! Presumably your accommodation is paid for, so you probably won't get a cheaper option!

Hmm this offer sounds more generous than it actually is. The accommodation is only a part of the cost and although it will have added to the relative’s spend, you may end up finding that for the price of transport etc you could have gone on a holiday of your choosing at a time convenient to you, perhaps when the kids are older.

@PastelFlowerJelly I refused to take any holiday time last summer on the basis that it would be same crap, different location and my partner would expect to lounge around while I did everything w the kids.

I felt totally burned out without a break over the summer. That might not be the OP’s options, but just wanted to say I can understand your post and points you’re making!

I’m not sure what the big deal is …

Travel down, park the car at the airport and get on the flight.

Its just a 4 hour car journey, not 14 hours.

I’m always jealous of people whose PIL generously pay for holidays . Make it work , it’ll be worth it . Is a beautiful country , I’m sure you’ll love it .

We’ve always done the stay and park hotel option and it’s great. Have a hotel room picnic when you get there, sleep, and then roll out of bed and stroll across to the terminal. Takes a big lot of stress out of the day you fly, and makes it all much less tiring. Plus you kind of feel like your holiday started a night early if you make sure you have a nice picnic and maybe a bottle of fizz. It also means you don’t have that worry about getting stuck in traffic or breaking down and missing your flight.

It won't be that much trouble to all go together surely? I would be more nervous about going as springing a surprize holiday that you appear to HAVE to go on or they'll not be impressed but make your own arrangements for, seems a bit cheeky! Do people really do this without asking? I wouldn't book a table without checking with everyone first let alone a villa abroad!

Gatwick - loads of hotels and Horley has loads of B&bs many that do a shuttle service to the airport. Please book airport parking and don't try and leave your car on a road like the cheeky fucker who left their car outside my house for two and a half weeks and seriously inconvenienced me or the batshit woman who was trying to park on my neighbours verge and looked askance at the idea he might want to mow his own grass. Hey ho. Honestly, there are tons of places to stay near Gatwick and if you book ahead you should get a good deal.

I wish I lived an hour from an airport. Even if I had to change flights. Our nearest airport is 3 hours away. I’ve driven further than that to get to an airport with a flight going where I want to go. That’s why airports have hotels.

I appreciate the people saying not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but this does sound like the in laws had a good idea and haven't thought through the implications for OP. Kids get up at 6am, ILs get up at 10am, kids are used to lunch at 12pm, after a late breakfast other adults only want a snack about 2pm ahead of an 8pm meal, by which point the kids are overtired and beside themselves.

With children this age, OP's holiday is the same day-to-day as always, just in a different location. Depends if the other 4 adults coming along expect OP's family to fit in with them, are willing to fit in with the kids or happy to go and do their own thing from the same villa as a base. Are you renting your own car, OP, so you and DH can do activites that suit your family?