To ask if this is too much effort for a holiday

[Auntiejohnfromjamaica]

Am I mad to try to make this holiday work?

PILs have surprised us with a villa booking in Greece next year, for them, us and BIL and his wife.

We were so excited as it’s somewhere we have always wanted to go, but I’ve been looking at travel and it’s so complicated.

PILs and BIL+SIL live near London and don’t have kids. We are further north, don’t live that close to any airports, the closest ones to us don’t fly to this destination, and we will have a 18 month old and 4 year old with us.

I think we have two choices. Drive 1 hour to nearest airport, take a low cost flight to one place then another low cost flight to actual destination. would have to be Hand luggage only :(

Or we drive four hours (setting off midnight) to London and take direct flight.

First option seems more expensive but I haven’t priced up fuel and parking.

PILs won’t be impressed if we don’t go. And won’t really understand about the kids, and how long it’ll take, and the price (we are on a budget).

So I suppose my question is - would you bother?
YABU - make it work, it’s worth it!
YANBU - too much effort, don’t go

Go to in-laws they’ll have a full year’s notice!

When you talk about "take a low cost flight" and then "take another low cost flight", do you mean just taking a flight with a single airline that involves a change, or two separate airlines? If it is a single airline and a sensible transfer time I'd consider that if it means your travel is all on one day rather than taking another day off. Not with two separate airlines (two risky) or a long stopover though. We just few to Azores via Lisbon/Portugal. Not really a big deal.

run a mile
Holidays with the in laws + sounds like a recipe for abject horror. (I bet the in laws won't help with the child care)
Too many people, too difficult to plan for different tastes.
Just don't
Holiday with small children can be SO difficult. Stay in the UK if you must go on holiday, At home will be so much easier.

DS did the airport hotel with small children early flight the car storage included they said it was worth it just for the car and the kids were fine

I can't see how a four hour drive to an airport is lot of effort at all. Millions of people do this every year.

OP, if the hotels at Stansted seem too expensive, have a look at what's available in Bishops Stortford.

I think there's a Travelodge and Bishops Stortford is just a few minutes drive from Stansted. There will be literally no traffic on a Saturday morning (unlike the areas around Heathrow).

Then you can drive down on the Friday, have a leisurely evening, a decent sleep and no-stress journey to the airport.

[And just to add, if the flights are cheaper on the Sunday, for example, you could always arrive at the villa the day after the others....]

Take the train to London and then a taxi to the airport. Honestly, it's worth spending the money to avoid the hassle.

If all you're paying for is flight and food then that's a cheap holiday in anyone's book

Trust me, it can be .... and it can be very very different.

My major concern it that it has been sprung on OP without much discussion. The kind of discussion where you get to understand each other's point of view and what is important to them.

Having the accommodation paid for, can in some hosts mind set up an expectation that there will be some reciprocation. Or at least that their preferences will be prioritised.

That could be lovely. It could also be a a bit of a nightmare. The solution is some discussion, of which there is no sign so far.

As for assuming anything, we all know what that does...

Yup. And did OP actually want a holiday?

i'm trying to organise one for the first time in 5 years. Not everyone goes for holidays.

If you give us vague details of the area you live and the destination airport we might be able to come up with some other ideas?
We’ve flown to Schiphol then onwards in the past to avoid a cross country shlep.

A couple who are prepared to give up their room for their adult children (I wouldn’t) are unlikely to be the type who demand that their preferences be prioritised. And even if they did, they’re paying for the holiday.

We regularly fly from an airport 4 hours from us as our local ones are expensive. We book a hotel room with parking for the night before. First time we did this we had an 18 month old and a 4 year old. It was worth the effort.

Helpful post!

Have a look at flying on Friday and staying in a hotel at the destination too. We often find fights are cheaper on a Friday and airports are quieter. You can normally find a decent air BnB for a night or a cheaper hotel at the destination. Then you get up and have a nice relaxed breakfast or lunch and meet ILs later for villa check in.

Yes I find it odd why loads of people here are scoffing about the 4 hour drive. It's obviously not JUST about 4 hours in a car. It's the mental load of planning, packing, travelling, firefighting and dealing with all unpredictability of an overseas trip on a limited budget. Some people deal with that type of stress better than others so good on all those who can enjoy a holiday with small children.

Just because it's free doesn't mean you need to take it. OP has also made it clear that there are financial issues at stake. The cost of flights, parking, fuel, airport hotel etc could easily end up more than a fully-paid for holiday close to home. Small children do not remember anything at that age either (I travelled a lot with my parents and remember virtually nothing before age 7). I do remember getting very sick in a hotel in Singapore aged 5ish, being really bored on many planes and now realising how much stress that probably caused my parents as well.

DH and I unanimously decided that overseas trips are just not worth the stress with small kids. We plan family holidays within driving distance and spend lots of day trips that are memorable without being too disruptive.

It's the mental load of planning, packing, travelling, firefighting and dealing with all unpredictability of an overseas trip on a limited budget.

Firefighting? 😂

This is a really good point. This is like when some kind person treats you to a theatre ticket, not realising that you will struggle to afford the train ticket, meal out, afternoon off work to get there etc. that you’ll need as well. For some people this is all trivial, and they don’t realise that for others it’s a significant or impossible expense.

We've used a very reasonable b&b in Ongar or early flights from Stansted. Harwood House, leave the car there, they run you to the airport and pick.you up on return. Haven't used them since covid so you'd need to check if they are still going.

Why are you making such a big deal out of this?

Stay at a hotel near the airport the night before or with PILs.

If you can’t manage a four hour drive in return for a free holiday, then maybe travel’s just not for you, OP. 👀

I think it’s a really generous offer and works accept with good grace.

OP - I can't decide whether you're a very anxious person, or if you're simply not keen on going? An airport hotel the night before is pretty straightforward. But I'm slightly uneasy that you've had no input into the holiday itself.

Stanstead holiday inn express, breakfast, transfers and parking for 8 days for £119 - parking itself isn’t much cheaper.

It’s really not much effort. Get an airport hotel with parking or drive during the night to airport.

Dh and I flew long haul with dd at 4. We drove the 3+ hours to Heathrow during the very early hours for a morning flight and then spent 11 hours on a plane and then had just ourselves, no help when we got there, so took turns sleeping. As it’s a short flight and you’ll have family help, should be all really straightforward.

As loads of others have said, just get an inexpensive airport hotel with a shuttle bus and book long stay parking. Honestly it is so much easier and nicer than all the transfers, and once you are settled into your hotel in the evening, you can rest easy knowing that the hard part is over. Our kids are young and we travel loads. Airport hotels make all the difference. Just see your holiday as starting when you leave for the airport the day before and make the hotel evening a treat! Maybe your in-laws will even join you if it’s an early flight since they live further away from the airport.

I think you will really enjoy yourself once you are there, especially as you have grandparents around to help! I would 100% go. It is a hassle, but it will be worth it for the experience and memories for you as a family.

Look at taking a train to the London airport, all have good rail connections and overnighting in an airport hotel. Book early with a free cancellation option in case flights change.