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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the government needs to something quickly to help families financially supporting children at Uni.

562 replies

Fl0renc3 · 07/08/2022 08:41

Mortgages are going up( ours will by 300 when we remortgage v soon), energy bills will be going up hugely, ditto food, petrol etc…. Already making all the savings we can.

We have got to start paying our child £500 a month to live on from October on top. It was already going to be a squeeze.Her bills will be rocketing too so who knows if what we were planning to give her will be enough.

We don’t have a money tree and have 2 other children due to start Uni in the next few years. I know the poorest and the richest will be ok re funding for their child at Uni but there is a massive band in the middle who won’t. Whether or not you can go to Uni shouldn’t be decided on parental income( thanks Tories) but those already there and just starting are going to be in dire straits as are the families supporting them.

OP posts:
LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 07/08/2022 09:15

Testina · 07/08/2022 09:01

I’ve supported my stepson through university as the higher salaries between his dad and me. We’re a family. Why did you move your husband in and marry him if you didn’t want to be a family?

Show quote history

Shoot me but I don’t think step parents should have to subsidise step children at Uni. They presumably have 2 parents for that, why do they need 1-2 more? Maybe @cheninblanc has her own kids to worry about?

lilacflowersinthegarden · 07/08/2022 09:15

Interesting how the answer immediately is to get a job.

Maybe. But … can’t people see that this just might keep the very rich, very rich, and the middle … middle?

Just me?

crochetmeahat · 07/08/2022 09:15

I agree with pp that "the government must do something" means "taxpayers must pay" (for this at the expense of other priorities)

I think it should be the norm for students to work for a year and alongside their degrees, as some of them would have a more mature outlook if they did. We infantilise the under 21s in this country I think

gogohmm · 07/08/2022 09:16

It's always been like that! Think of my parents supporting 2 kids at university with mortgage rates at 14% (means testing was very much around then, maintenance wasn't universal)

Why now? Interest rates are still very low historically

Original poster
Fl0renc3 · 07/08/2022 09:16

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet

Those on the lower end don’t have to pay their dc £500 a month. Their kids get the extra loans.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 07/08/2022 09:17

My DD did work the summers, and during term time, we still had to top her up.

SofiaSoFar · 07/08/2022 09:17

We work hard and our taxes fund those who get full loans which in the current climate the middle should get too.

What about people who work hard and pay their taxes but don't have children, or whose children don't get to university?

The more you post, the worse you're sounding to be honest, OP.

ShanghaiDiva · 07/08/2022 09:18

i hope your dd has a less defeatist attitude...
she will need to work at uni

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 07/08/2022 09:18

neverbeenskiing · 07/08/2022 09:04

I was with you when I read your OP, but you've lost me with your subsequent posts as you seem to be saying your DD shouldn't have to get a part time job but "the government needs to do something"! Plenty of students work to support themselves through uni and always have. As for her course being intensive, I've worked with student nurses who were doing 12 hour shifts on the ward as part of their degree but still managed to work part time in the holidays.

Agree - my niece is 20 and since starting Uni has worked 6-7 nights a week in a bar. She has youth on her side so finishing at 1am to be up for 8am for lectures is adequate sleeping time and she has time between Uni and work to do whatever Uni work she needs to complete. She is v disciplined though and has prioritised her studies over the ‘Uni experience’ which I know can’t be easy

ClocksGoingBackwards · 07/08/2022 09:19

You really having got a fucking clue from your squeezed middle bubble 🙄 Because yeah, the people with less income than you have got it easy. Not a fucking clue. Like I said, 3 years ago had you given a second thought to the young adults from lower incomes than yours who couldn’t afford university?

Is it really necessary to be so rude?

Those of us on low incomes don’t have to pay a penny towards our childrens university education because they get the full loan amount. In my experience, they are loaned so much money they don’t need to work unless they want extra fun money. There were no school leavers three years ago from low income families that couldn’t afford university purely because of the loan amount.

LidlCinnamonBun · 07/08/2022 09:19

Ace56 · 07/08/2022 08:45

I agree OP, as usual the middle loses out as they’re expected to be able to ‘top up’ their child whereas the poorest get a higher maintenance amount.

Can your DC get a job to help support themselves?

My daughter has a job and still can’t afford it. We can’t afford to help her this year as our bills have increased so much.

Testina · 07/08/2022 09:20

@Fl0renc3 “We work hard and our taxes fund those who get full
loans which”

Do they?
Despite having three children you think you’re a net contributor.
If you are, you can get through.
Bet you’re not though.

You’ve had about £18720 off “the government” in Child Benefit for her. What’s happened to that? Obviously you didn’t need it for her as you went on to have more children. That would have seen her through, if you’d saved it.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 07/08/2022 09:20

Fl0renc3 · 07/08/2022 09:06

She is and has been helping herself. Has been applying for jobs, we’re quite rural and transport an issue. Not actually that many jobs around. The pandemic was really hard for us as a family and then she had to work hard to catch up and do her Alevels. Like many starting this year. We knew it would be a squeeze and cut our cloth. We didn’t foresee a pandemic, a war, Brexit and an energy crisis.

The system is utterly shit anyway. They should all get the same. Why on earth should adults have their future depend on what their parents earn?

But equally, why should children from millionaire and billionaire families get the same help as minimum wage families? Yea I know you’re not a millionaire or billionaire but people absolutely shouldn’t get the same and you need to recognise how fortunate you are

Mybeautifulfriend22 · 07/08/2022 09:21

Most hospitality places I visit are currently still busy and asking for staff. We arent high earners at all but we have no kids and a low mortgage and watch out budget so can currently still afford to eat out/socialise.
Im sure there are plenty of people in a similar boat.

She definitely would get a job. Maybe things will get tougher as time goes on but she could of worked the summer while it’s not hit yet. I’ve seen lots of excuses. But you essentially want me as a taxpayer to help fund her at uni when she’s not even trying to help herself.

LargeLegoHaul · 07/08/2022 09:21

Fl0renc3 · 07/08/2022 08:56

Her loans will only cover her accommodation. Hospitality is going to go down the drain. There will be no jobs. Who on earth is going to be to afford to eat out? She was advised that her course is intensive and working probably not advisable.

If the loan covers her accommodation, which most likely in the first year is halls, then will DD really need £500pm? There won’t be any gas, electric, water, internet bills.

Did you not plan ahead and start saving years ago knowing you would potentially have 3 at university close together?

Original poster
Fl0renc3 · 07/08/2022 09:21

Haven’t had child benefit for ages. Just over the threshold for that too.

OP posts:
Mummamama · 07/08/2022 09:22

I've never met a student who isn't regularly dropping ££s on a night out and doing that 3 or 4 times a week, it's seen as the student experience. But why should it be an expectation? Everyone is tightening their belt surely students can too? Of course some will be already, this won't be all of them.
In case it matters I never went to uni as worked instead so didn't have 'the student experience' didn't do me any harm so clearly they don't NEED to be doing that.

LidlCinnamonBun · 07/08/2022 09:22

CalistoNoSolo · 07/08/2022 09:14

Also, we are rural, her work is 20mins drive and I work fill time. It can be done. Why doesn't your dd drive?

Driving lessons are expensive. Plus you still have the same travel expenses whilst paying for driving lessons.

StillHappy · 07/08/2022 09:22

Fl0renc3 · 07/08/2022 08:46

I know. Tories don’t care as they can all afford to fund their kids. But what are families and students of the stretched middle going to do? The cut off band is pretty low. It is going to impact a lot of young people and their families.

Conservative voters are all able to afford it?

What a strange thing to write.

KangarooKenny · 07/08/2022 09:23

I think that we need to reverse the push to get kids to go to Uni. Many of them end up in low paid jobs anyway, not what they originally went to Uni for.
We need a really good apprenticeship scheme where kids learn a trade, not how to put the kettle in and shovel shit. Although putting the kettle on is a life skill !

NelStevHan · 07/08/2022 09:23

‘Hospitality is going to go down the drain. There will be no jobs.’

Hospitality is absolutely DESPERATE for people. So desperate that they’ll take in strident with no experience. Same with retail.
problem is the kids of middle class parents don’t want to work in low paid hospitality jobs.

LIZS · 07/08/2022 09:23

Unless the course is Oxbridge or medical/Stem she will have time in holidays or weekends to work in her uni area. Student union for example, advertise for staff for its cafes, bars, events etc pretty early possibly in freshers week. If things are tight it is worth looking into any bursaries or hardship funding available.

Dalaidramailama · 07/08/2022 09:23

Why? My working class parents couldn’t afford to send me to Uni years ago so why the handouts now? Me and my siblings had to pick local unis whilst living at home. Going further out isn’t a god given right.

gogohmm · 07/08/2022 09:23

Ps my dd just graduated in engineering, managed to play sports for the university (top level) work and play hard - she got the minimum loan but only had to top her up a little. Unless it's medicine they certainly can work, plenty of hospitality work available and there's always jobs going at the university. Oh and even enterprising medical students can work in the holidays, we have one working at our doctors currently doing bloods etc lovely young lady - she wrote to them asking if they would employ her for the summer!

KenAdams · 07/08/2022 09:24

I took a year out and saved up then worked all through uni. My loan didn't even cover my accommodation so summer work savings made up the rest and then what I earned in term time kept me afloat. Honestly, everyone did the same, your DD needs to grow up and pay her way. What course is it? I did summer jobs related to my degree which helped with my understanding of elements of my course.

You can bleet on about unfairness all you want or she can just make it happen like everyone else did. It's absolutely right that the poorest in society should be helped so they have the opportunity too, that's how families get the next generation out of a cycle of poverty.