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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the government needs to something quickly to help families financially supporting children at Uni.

562 replies

Fl0renc3 · 07/08/2022 08:41

Mortgages are going up( ours will by 300 when we remortgage v soon), energy bills will be going up hugely, ditto food, petrol etc…. Already making all the savings we can.

We have got to start paying our child £500 a month to live on from October on top. It was already going to be a squeeze.Her bills will be rocketing too so who knows if what we were planning to give her will be enough.

We don’t have a money tree and have 2 other children due to start Uni in the next few years. I know the poorest and the richest will be ok re funding for their child at Uni but there is a massive band in the middle who won’t. Whether or not you can go to Uni shouldn’t be decided on parental income( thanks Tories) but those already there and just starting are going to be in dire straits as are the families supporting them.

OP posts:
MrsBean88 · 07/08/2022 12:00

Fl0renc3 · 07/08/2022 09:01

And presuming that jobs will still be around why should those in the middle have the stress and impact on their future degree whilst those either side can just focus on studying. There are travel implications too which will cost( bus fares round here are rocketing), I’m starting to worry that no job will cover costs for students that are going to rocket( rent, food, bills). Costs for restaurants are going to go up dramatically too.They are not going to be able to pay more, less are going to eat out, more are going to go bust, ditto shops….

Disagree with this completely, my daughter is getting the full loan amount because I’m a single parent and don’t work due to having a disabled child. It’s still not enough and she’s worked all summer in hospitality, and will need to work alongside her law degree to be able to survive uni because I can’t top her up, I just about scrape by as it is

portico · 07/08/2022 12:01

DS1 about to start second year of Zuni. DS2 starting in Sep 2023. I am constantly saving where I can; it’s not enjoyable.

im not sure this will get any profile awareness in the media, beyond this very useful MN post

Dervel · 07/08/2022 12:05

It wasn’t the Tories who brought in tuition fees and axed grants, it was Labour…

poetryandwine · 07/08/2022 12:06

OP,

As an academic who has sat on a number of Special Circumstances panels, I urge you in the strongest terms to think about the message from PPs who are questioning whether someone whose MH has contributed to an inability to earn is ready to begin what you characterise as an intensive degree programme, away from home.The pitfalls of failing to take time out to sort your MH are a running theme on this board.

Will all three of your children be at uni together? That’s the only way your costs multiply x3. You’ve already said the others are earning (and saving, one hopes) and the loan essentially covers rent. You won’t be covering 12 months of spending in any case. So £18K pa is an alarming figure, but not a realistic one.

None of this means I am a fan of the gov’t’s financial approach to students or that I lack sympathy for your situation, which is sadly typical.

Behappyplease · 07/08/2022 12:08

Piggywaspushed · 07/08/2022 11:34

Because lots of hospitality workers were laid off during the pandemic. So, they are now applying for hospitality jobs....

Show quote history

It is a tight labour market in the UK at the moment, there are more jobs than workers so teenagers are not competing with experience, it is the other way round. Job vacancies in the UK are at a record 1.3 million and unemployment is at 3.7%.

Behappyplease · 07/08/2022 12:10

Fl0renc3 · 07/08/2022 08:46

I know. Tories don’t care as they can all afford to fund their kids. But what are families and students of the stretched middle going to do? The cut off band is pretty low. It is going to impact a lot of young people and their families.

It was the labour gov that brought in tuition fees when Blair was PM.

Sellie555 · 07/08/2022 12:12

Why £500 a month if her loan covers her accommodation costs? My sons loan doesn’t cover his accommodation costs (about £700 a year short) so I do top that up plus I give him Money for food shopping (£30 a week).

he works part time (14 hours a week) in a supermarket to cover his social life at Uni and anything else he ‘wants’ which earns him £450 pm.

he then works full time over the summer in the supermarket (approx 4 months @ £1300 per month) plus Xmas holidays. So he has more than enough money.

most students would be able to earn £4-£5k in the long summer holidays they get, which should be enough to tide them over

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 07/08/2022 12:13

We are comfortable enough that the DC could get away without working as we can and are topping them up.

DS1 has just finished the first year of a STEM course and he has worked this summer. Not because we need him to but because we wanted him to. I think working at physically hard low paid jobs is a healthy dose of reality. He certainly has a better appreciation of the value of money when he’s earned it himself.

I think there is a separate issue around access to higher education and the numbers going. So many people have first degrees that Masters are becoming the norm in some areas. This is just another form of grade inflation and cost barrier.

2ndMrsdeWinter · 07/08/2022 12:14

My course was intensive (similar to medicine) and I had TWO part one jobs and a family to care for. It was very hard but it can be done.

I feel for your dc, OP, as I agree that funding for HE needs an overhaul but £500 a month is a huge amount of money to contribute.

Calibrachoa · 07/08/2022 12:17

Yanbu. As a country for many years we put value on young people other than the rich being in higher education, as other countries do. The tories have tripled tuition fees and made them the highest in the world now though. We seem to be returning to the days of people not being expected to get ideas above their station.

To think the government needs to something quickly to help families financially supporting children at Uni.
Ledkr · 07/08/2022 12:21

My dd goes to our local uni to save money but I do feel sad that she has missed out on the whole uni experience but she already has enough debt to pay off and as she wants to go into the entertainment industry is unlikely to every earn very much.
She also has to work for her leisure money.

Ledkr · 07/08/2022 12:22

Calibrachoa · 07/08/2022 12:17

Yanbu. As a country for many years we put value on young people other than the rich being in higher education, as other countries do. The tories have tripled tuition fees and made them the highest in the world now though. We seem to be returning to the days of people not being expected to get ideas above their station.

Totally agree with this. Keep us in our place eh?

ancientgran · 07/08/2022 12:29

Maybe she could take a year out, work and save and hopefully get her mental health more on track. It could be a good thing to do.

Janedoe82 · 07/08/2022 12:30

Haven’t read all the posts but she needs to get a flipping job! I did an ‘intensive’ course and currently doing an MBA whilst working 45 hours a week and with kids. Can’t be arsed with all this nonsense about kids of 18/19 not being able to work part time whilst at uni.

ilovesooty · 07/08/2022 12:30

Having done a lot of invigilation in Special Circumstances I agree with @poetryandwine . I think you should be thinking seriously about whether your child's mental health might mean that undertaking an intensive university course at this time simply isn't a viable option. I encountered a lot of students who I suspect wouldn't have been employable after graduation.

Babyroobs · 07/08/2022 12:35

WinterMusings · 07/08/2022 09:00

There are plenty of holidays & days they don't attend when the students can work.

my friends DD is starting in Sept/Oct & my friend is stressed about the money, however, there are loads of jobs locally her DD could have done in the holidays, but all she has done is loaf around at home. She's 15 mins walk from our local town, but couldn't possibly consider getting an actual job!

she also has talents/skills she could have easily tutored several subjects or done some childcare & teaching.

No just lying on the bed/sofa....

younger sister (almost 16) the same. (Nice!) Neighbours even offered to pay her to entertain their 7&9 yo DD's (lovely house, garden, toys etc) while they WFH, so no responsibility, just keep them entertained (lovely easy kids I've looked after before, but want to chat to m&d while they're working if no one else around) was offered to drop, collect & pay - for movies, lido, days out if she wanted.

nope, not because she's busy with friends etc just flopping about the house, complaining she's hot/bored...

Love my friend, but FFS.

My 19 year old ds is hoping to go to Uni in Sept. He has also done nothing much to find a summer job despite our constant nagging. DD on the other hand who will likely go to Uni next year is working part time whilst in sixth form to save for Uni.

Funkyblues101 · 07/08/2022 12:35

Fl0renc3 · 07/08/2022 09:08

She is applying for jobs but has been struggling with poor mental health. Like many we’ve had a shit few years. We both work full time so can’t ferry her about. Petrol is ££££ now too , buses unreliable and £££.

Not having a job means she's doing what all day, exactly? If the answer is, "not a lot" then no wonder she's struggling. I knew a medical student who worked full time in the holidays as a hospital cleaner. He was from a very well off family but they insisted on him working for his beer money. Sitting on your arse all day has always equated to boredom and depression (no matter how many excuses the parents make and fling around the term "mental health").

spuddy56 · 07/08/2022 12:37

I got the minimum loan and no help from parents. I worked so much there was no time to have mental health issues. She will have to juggle working full time and studying full time. Its the only option for people with parents who don't care.

Funkyblues101 · 07/08/2022 12:39

Livinginanotherworld · 07/08/2022 11:21

That is the case, but I know many who still did. Needs must sometimes.

Show quote history

Oxbridge terms being only 8 weeks means there's longer for full time jobs in the holidays.

Dragmedown · 07/08/2022 12:39

Fl0renc3 · 07/08/2022 09:56

I can not see how student accommodation costs aren’t going to go up therefore the loans need to go up. Students are amongst the poorest in society, they need to be thought of and catered for too in the tough few years ahead.

Did you not start saving for your kids possible uni life back in the day? You do have some responsibility yourself here. I would love to give my kids the opportunity to pursue uni if I can (and they want to go) and I have started a savings fund for them. They are years away from this but I was in your boat when my parents saw me off to uni and I’m not going to sit around and wait for the state to solve matters. Yes the system is shit but we’ve known that for a long time.

And my course was very intense and me and most of my mates managed to get by with part time jobs. It was no party, but why should it be? It’s the real world! Maybe organise her some counselling for the first term or two and then she might be in a strong enough place to start supporting herself by next summer with a job. But don’t just keep on blaming others.

ABBAsnumberonefan · 07/08/2022 12:50

only me and one other housemate had a job when we were at uni - we were still able to go out and enjoy ourselves and study though! I got a first so it can’t have impacted my studies too much and tbh it helped me get on one of the most competitive grad schemes because I had work experience. You can say it’s unfair she has to work whilst others don’t but it’s the way of life! No one is forcing her to go to uni…

poetryandwine · 07/08/2022 12:53

A correction, OP: the pitfalls of failing to sort your MH, instead muddling along at uni until you are caught between a rock and a hard place, are a running theme on the Higher Education Board, not this one. Sorry about that.

I hope you’ve seen the message from @ilovesooty above. The PP @GCAcademic is an academic who knows her stuff on this theme. I don’t know the backgrounds of the other PPs but honestly, we are all thinking about your DD’s best interests.

Clarabella77 · 07/08/2022 12:58

Testina · 07/08/2022 08:59

I know I’ll get told it’s not a race to the bottom.
But I’ll admit my sympathy for financial hardship isn’t highest for this “squeezed middle” example.
You choose to have 3 children, reasonably close together. With one just starting uni in October you have had notice of impending recession before her even viewing universities, let alone the other two.

Choose local universities.
Get jobs.
Work for a year before going and let them save every penny whilst living at home.
If you have to, remortgage and increase your term to reduce your own outgoings.

Honestly, 3 years ago did you ever give a single thought to the families and students already choosing local universities and working?

Completely agree with this.

Yes it is going to be hard. Yes there is so much that is unfair about student funding.

But most middle class people have options. There are many many more people whose options are incredibly limited.

Given the world we are currently living in we are going to let go of the idea that school then uni is automatically the best route for bright middle class teenagers. Sometimes it isn't.

FourTeaFallOut · 07/08/2022 12:59

Having to top up your child's uni expenses, moreso the more you earn, isn't new news. You haven't saved for her and you've chosen to live somewhere in which jobs are sparse and transport is difficult. Where is the forward planning here? Was she meant to sit around on her arse until uni and then you'd just fund it with your monthly income - the excess of which will now be lost on the inflationary pressures we are all facing?

The victim mentality of the squeezed middle on Mumsnet is endless.

BeeCyber8net · 07/08/2022 13:00

I worked PT & FT during the holidays when I was a student in a variety of different jobs

If these students are not working, what are they doing ?

Volunteering ?

Study ?

Travelling with what budget ?

Nothing ?

I've seen posts on here
Graduate A looking for job with work experience
Versus
Graduate B looking for job with zero work experience

Everyone replied that they would employ the Graduate with work experience. It's not about just the money, it's about the soft skills too

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