‘We knew you would be’

[Wealreadyknew]

Whenever I tell one of my friends happy news, this is what she says. Like her and the rest of my friends have been speculating together about when it would happen.

eg I’m engaged - ‘We knew you would be! We actually all thought he’d propose in XX (last holiday)

or recently I told her I was pregnant and she said ‘We knew it!’

AIBU to find this a bit annoying? And why would say not just say congratulations etc? Even if I don’t know someone very well, I still know to act excited for them about their happy news!

So that is just 2 examples? You are being ridiculous.

I don't understand your overreaction, instead of saying thanks for being happy for us 🙄

Nope, YANBU. There’s a woman at my work who does this, especially about weddings and babies, and it’s massively irritating. She hasn’t had quite the life that she wanted in terms of relationships and family (she’s a bit older) and I always see it as her trying to take a bit of ownership of other people’s happiness, but it’s not unreasonable to find it irksome.

Passive aggressive one upmanship. WTAF. This really is a ME ME Me thread.

Two of the biggest announcements of her life

@Mississipi71 what are you on about? Do you even know?

Do you know what YOU are on about?

@Mississipi71 😂 ok love.

I had a boss who came back from maternity leave. We were thrilled for her when we noticed she stopped drinking diet coke and taking aspirin when she had a headache so we had a collection and bought a gender neutral outfit ready for when she made the announcement. She thought it was lovely that we were interested enough in her (and each other) to notice and celebrate with her. Perhaps you could think of it like that if they are good friends?

Ps - I read somewhere that most gossip is actually positive and supportive - isn't so and so nice, doesn't she look great, etc etc.

Some ppl moan when they don't get enough thought, now they moan when others take an active interest ..

Trust your gut here as you know their personality. Sounds like jealousy to me when they try to minimise your good news, repetitively. Once okay but if its more like every time and numerous times it sounds like jealousy. Of course it depends on the personality of the person who said it so you are the best judge of that person’s character here. If you dislike this person life is too short surround yourself with positive people.

You sound like hard work

Definitely very annoying!

If you've been trying to hide being pregnant and been around your friends they have probably already guessed. I find it hard to act surprised when someone announces they are pregnant after having been "on antibiotics" and driving when they usually wouldn't etc. It's irritating having to pretend not to know to be polite when you know, they know, you know they know and everyone's playing a game.

You say you don't like the idea of friends speculating about you but then you admit you do the same thing about them. Perhaps reflect on your own behaviour first.

@ChekhovsMum i think this is exactly it. Trying to take ownership over it, to make herself feel better.

@DappledThings i haven’t had to hide it all - I don’t drink anyway and don’t think I look different at this stage, but I do know what you mean.

@user1471457751 that is fair, but i still have the good grace to be very excited and happy for my friends, even if I saw it coming.

I am quite surprised that so many people think ‘we knew it’ is a normal response and not ‘congratulations’

To the pp that said I love the limelight, I really don’t. I have never expected anyone to make a fuss or enjoyed being centre of attention. I just felt deflated to share happy news and not be congratulated. It’s like if someone got promoted and I said ‘obviously, you’ve been there a while’

Do any of those people's reactions make any difference to your news/situation? I think you really would find it hard pressed to say yes.

It’s just a speech pattern. And a way of saying she knew you had X good thing coming.

She knows nice, and to use a MN term I have never used before - you sound like hard work OP.

I actually agree with you. I would find that incredibly annoying. And I don't think it's very kind of her to say, and I bet she knows it.

I agree.

Congrats, fabulous, so happy for you are all normal responses.

Saying "we knew it" sounds quite self absorbed to me - bringing the focus back onto them rather than the person with the good news. It shows a selfish side - thinking of their response rather the OP's happiness.

Some posters just like to piss on an OP's chips no matter what the topic of the post.

YANBU. It sounds like your friend is constantly downplaying or minimising something which she should be delighted and effusive about.