What is an acceptable time to leave a wedding?

[Celp28]

Help and advice needed please 🙏 I am due to attend a wedding today with my husband and 2 young children aged 2 & 6. It is for a school friend who I have grown up with and luckily it is not too far from home (45 minute drive).
I woke up this morning really unwell. Swollen glands, high temperature and raging sore throat. I have the awful limb aching that comes with these things and my head feels like it’s going to explode.
It’s too late to cancel so I know I have to put my big girl pants on and suck it up and attend. However, what is an acceptable time to leave please? I don’t want to be rude and offend the bride and groom, but equally I really don’t know if I can face the entire day/evening. I honestly want to cry!

She's no friend if she doesn't understand. You can't help it.Please don't go!!

Don't go. You could have covid and likely to give it to elderly relatives of the couple.

I understand if you don’t go but surely your partner and kids would still go?
thats 4 sets of meals she’s paid for which will go to waste.
depending on the venue that could be over £200.

OP has said the bride is very much her friend and not a family friend.

It must happen, though? Especially with covid still around. Maybe the husband and kids are incubating?

I doubt the Dh and kids will go otherwise the op would have said in her latest update. Not surprising though another man who can't cope with looking after his own children for the day.

Unfortunately not but I'm sure I will be soon ❤️

I would also offer to pay for the meals

This

I think I'd actually claim to have covid to make it possibly a bit more acceptable?

I got married years ago but believe three people couldn't come last minute- I remember one had broken their leg. The only thing that affected the wedding was the seating plan as all three were on one table had to do a bit of shuffling. Never occurred to me to be annoyed at the cost.

This could be an AIBU thread all on it's own, but surely if you were cancelling as a guest in the day of the wedding, you would ring to explain and not just send a text?

(Totally agree with PPs you should cancel, I'm surprised people still don't realise this for themselves after the last couple of years...)

I am grumpy today so it's s general moan, not just you OP. I hope you feel better soon.

i imagine the bride is a very busy person today so a text would be better to explain matters to them/groom.

It sounds like more than a cold and if you feel that dreadful I wouldn’t be able to go
I honestly don’t see why your husband can’t take the kids for a bit it won’t kill him.

Someone at a close friend's wedding had proper flu, they barely made it through the ceremony and meal. They left early, but not before they'd passed it to a fairly high number of guests, including the bride and groom...

Selfish twit

But what if the OP does have covid and her Dh and DC are asymptomatic? Surely it's best none of them attend, as who knows, even if it's not covid, the rest of the family may be carrying the germs and pass them on before showing signs of being ill themselves.

FFS

LFT are not 100% accurate, they were designed for mass testing & on a population level reducing the chances of spreading it, a numbers game.

A negative does not mean you don't have Covid, just that you're not testing positive (yet maybe)

but whatever you've got, no one else wants it.

A friend of 30years, that isn't a family friend (WTF) & wouldn't understand, isn't much of a friend anyway.

I hope you all stayed home.

If someone had turned up sick to my wedding I would have been fucking furious.

The meal is paid for no refunds now so whether you attend or not makes not a blind difference.

It does annoy me how men drop out if there's a change of plans sigh

Stay at home. Tell them it's Covid. 😉

Suck it up and leave early. You will just anger the bride not going it sounds like you can't be bothered. Do a lateral flow before going!

Yea why can't you husband take the kids still?

I agree. If there's one thing we should have learned from Covid, it's to be careful about knowingly spreading infections around. There's bound to be elderly relatives at a wedding who could be very ill or hospitalised if the pick up whatever the OP has.

I think she'd be more angry if she caught a virus from said friend.