What is an acceptable time to leave a wedding?

[Celp28]

Help and advice needed please 🙏 I am due to attend a wedding today with my husband and 2 young children aged 2 & 6. It is for a school friend who I have grown up with and luckily it is not too far from home (45 minute drive).
I woke up this morning really unwell. Swollen glands, high temperature and raging sore throat. I have the awful limb aching that comes with these things and my head feels like it’s going to explode.
It’s too late to cancel so I know I have to put my big girl pants on and suck it up and attend. However, what is an acceptable time to leave please? I don’t want to be rude and offend the bride and groom, but equally I really don’t know if I can face the entire day/evening. I honestly want to cry!

Please don't go. You're ill, you're just going to infect everyone around you. I'm going to a wedding today and you've made me worried people will be attending ill... my son's been ill a lot lately and I've caught everything going because I'm knackered and run down, I really don't have time to be ill again next week.

If nothing else, can Covid please teach us that it's not polite to knowingly spread germs.

Just say you’ve tested positive for covid job done
i was negative on lfts for two days before I tested positive feeling exactly like you do

Your Dh and kids still need to go they're not ill. It shows that you've made an effort as a family to still celebrate the bride n grooms day. For you all not to go would seem rude imo

Oh blimey, almost all say stay home! I’m so nervous to cancel but I 100% agree with not spreading the germs. The last couple of years has heightened this!
oh jeez! Now I’m going to have to send the cancellation text! I’m cringing!
thank you for all of your advice, I may well be back here later crying over the end of a 30 year friendship after I cancel. But I think it’s unanimous that it’s more selfish to attend. I just hope the bride sees it that way 🤞
Thank you again!

Will still cost the bride/groom the money for four uneaten meals though. And not as easy as you think to remove place settings on a pre-done seating plan.

I would message the bride saying you are really poorly and devastated to miss it but you won’t manage the full day because you can hardly lift your head etc. would she prefer you came for the service or the meal. They you don’t risk the falling out and she might well say stay home.

However this depends on if you do want to go, obviously you don’t have to but I would want to manage some of my close circles day

If I was sure it wasn't covid I'd probably go to the service with a face mask on and stay well away from other people.

Remember about 12 months ago when nobody would take an LFT when we had symptoms and it had to be a PCR?

I would definitely offer to pay for the missed meals! Not your fault but would take some of the pressure off you. Fingers crossed you could afford to do this and the reception isn't being held at a £100 per head venue.

Please don't wreck your friends honeymoon and potentially spread Covid to all the guests (including older, more vulnerable guests). That is a sure fire way to end a friendship.

tbh I would thank you for not coming....big girl pants and explain you do not want to infect the entire wedding party. Wish them well & catch up when they get back.

I got married in March - at least 10 if not more people dropped out within 24-48hours of the wedding.

We were going on honeymoon two days after and we could have got stuck abroad or missed it if we contracted it too. I am so grateful they didnt go, and some were close family and friends!

Don't go. I think it's quite socially unacceptable nowadays to go anywhere with symptoms like that.

If she's your friend, why would she be angry with your cancellation if you're ill?
If the past 2.5 years have taught us anything, if you're going to spread a virus around. Especially non essential.

I should add - stay at home!

The couple won't even notice on the day. Nice touch to offer to contribute towards meals paid for and not used.

A few years ago I was seated next to an empty place - someone had got sick. The venue people just left the setting, I'm just guessing there was a bit more food to go round! It happens, don't feel bad.

I had my friend cancel on my wedding day , she was not well ... I didn't mind at all... and my dad loved it as he had 3 off plates of food ... I had an extra desert !!!

When I got married some people left around 9pm. Most around midnight. I was a bridesmaid for a friend and left after the speeches but I was quite ill on the day with diarrhoea and wasn't able to eat and had a toddler so I think that was understandable

I wouldn’t go but I’d still expect my husband and children too. Weddings are hugely expensive and wasting three places would be unnecessary if they’re not unwell.

The venue will only remove a place setting if they are told someone is not attending.

We went to a wedding at the end of last week. We and a number of others who were there have now got covid. Luckily we've not been very unwell, but we're isolating at home. There's a risk with any gathering and we know some people are asymptomatic, but if you've got symptoms don't go spreading them. I would ring the bride rather than text. If she doesn't answer you can then msg her.

Tbh I think that is something be factored in when planning a wedding now. That some guests will not be able to attend due to them having covid.

That's exactly how I felt when I first got covid about a month ago. Never tested positive at all on the ones where you swab the nose only. A few days in we got a pack of the throat swab ones and I tested positive on those.
Don't go, please. Imagine all those people you could make sick, and potentially ruin the b&g's honeymoon. Even if its not covid you don't want to pass it along.

I recently got married and all of our guests attended. Someone (guest or staff member) had Covid and more half our guests got Covid. I got it and I have MS so it hit me very hard. If you are ill (even if it's not Covid) please please please don't go. I will never know who it was and I hope they didn't even know they had it, but you are VU to go if you know you're ill. It's tainted our entire wedding for now (I'm sure in the future we will laugh about it).

That's terrible, @1634, and monumentally selfish of them.

Sorry, wrong tag, @I6344.
So selfish of them. I hope you're fully recovered.

You have made the right decision not to go. Phone not text and speak to the bride.

If the bride is a real friend it will not be the end of the friendship.