This is weird and distressing, right?

[MolliciousIntent]

Conversation with a family member about DD2 (5m and in perfect health)

Them: if she grows up, she might do XYZ...
Me: if she grows up!?!
Them: well nothing's certain, is it?

No, nothing is certain, that's true, but still, surely you don't just casually imply that there's a decent chance someone's baby will die when you're discussing if they'll be arty or sporty!? Apparently this is perfectly normal and I'm being oversensitive.

It’s not horrible or distressing and there’s nothing to pretend about, if a convo that OP highlighted and didn’t like they reply back therefore she’s being over sensitive.

Yes it’s weird, dark, unnecessary and plain nasty.

They sound exactly like the type that we all know, that has a 100% negative view of the world but proudly declares themselves a realist.

Cut them out of your life, that’s what I’d do

just say see you next time

if you make it back

Pretty sure you are reading too much into that. The IF and COULD relate to possible future careers, not your baby's mortality.

If she grows up? I don't think anybody is objecting to 'could', she could be a doctor or not. But if she grows up?

OP found it horrible & distressing. OP is not being "oversensitive" to say so.
You are not the arbiter of what OP is allowed to feel. Especially about her own baby.
Why should she passively ignore a horrible & distressing remark?

If I punched you in the face, it it YOUR fault for reporting me to the police?
OP's done nothing worng here & I can't quite work out why you are insisting that somebody else's crass comment is her fault for questioning it.

They sound like they might have serious mental health issues and you could be a bit nicer to them.

It was a comment. It didn't harm you or your child. Living in their head is lilely a lot worse.

Horrid comment (from someone who lost a child).

Dies the person have Autism? Or overly literal? That’s a very bizarre thing to say.

I wouldn't say something like that and I've never heard anyone say it but I think most posters are overreacting to a true observation albeit inappropriate in the context

Why are you disturbed by someone saying that none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow?

I'd reply and say something like, 'next time I see you...well, that is if you're still with us...'

Humans are weird!

Fuck me that’s awful.

you are not overreacting.

I agree with the person who says to say something along the lines of look forward to seeing you next time unless you are killed or die of a horrible disease before.

It's not that bizarre though...it's not like all babies grow up. It's the kind of thing you don't say, but its not inaccurate.

Can't see why you'd get so worked up about it. It's not like they went all Evil Fairy and cursed the child at the christening or anything

Are they an anxious person or do they have OCD?
I could imagine myself awkwardly saying something like this when my mental health was bad, because I didn’t want to “jinx” things.

Weird thing to say but I wouldn't find it distressing.

Ew, wtf?

Weird. And even though it reflects only on their own dark thoughts, they must be quite far gone to speak it out loud to the new mother of a 5 month old baby.

I usually roll my eyes and keep my trap shut but in this case I would be quite clear in warning them not to go around accidentally dripping poison like that.

Sounds like my mum. She would never plan anything 'just in case' and if you said something like see you tomorrow, or I'll pick you up later, she would reply 'all being well'. 😒. Some people are just pessimists.

And this response highlights one of the major things wrong with the world today.
Excusing peoples inappropriate and hurtful comments as potential ‘mental health issues’ or ‘learning disabilities’

Sometimes, people are just massive bell-ends, and unless they’re called out on it enough times, they will ALWAYS be massive bell-ends. You’re doing nobody any favours by excusing their behaviour for them.

I immediately wondered if they or someone close had lost a child themself.

No, you seriously need to re-read as you clearly haven't grasped what was meant when OP said 'If she grows up?', either that or you're a cesspit of narcissism.

That is such a strange morbid response from this family member. I’d give them a very wide berth in future. They clearly have some deep issues and I wouldn’t want this person anywhere near me or my child.

Omg 🙈 wtf?

Thanks for making me laugh🙂

@WhimsicalGubbins Good grief! couldn't agree with you more. They've managed to flip it round from OP being the victim is now the one being berated for being 'insensitive' & lacking in empathy'. Perhaps she should've given the person a hug ?. Who on earth will have empathy towards someone who just implied their healthy 5 month old baby might not live to full adulthood?
What about OP's MH?