This is weird and distressing, right?

[MolliciousIntent]

Conversation with a family member about DD2 (5m and in perfect health)

Them: if she grows up, she might do XYZ...
Me: if she grows up!?!
Them: well nothing's certain, is it?

No, nothing is certain, that's true, but still, surely you don't just casually imply that there's a decent chance someone's baby will die when you're discussing if they'll be arty or sporty!? Apparently this is perfectly normal and I'm being oversensitive.

Point proven - you can’t say anything for someone’s offend and calls you nasty. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤡

Pretty rubbish thing to say!

I could sort of forgive someone who had pregnancies/babies at a time/place with poor outcomes saying that in pregnancy or the first few days (generally the most dangerous time).

Well it's certainly a strange way and thing to say - but as you say they are generally quite negative.

But I wouldn't be getting too worried about it - after all it's not untruthful.

I generally only get concerned about the way others word and frame things if they are lying.

It takes all sorts after all!

What a horrible thing to say!

I'd swear that was my old next door neighbour. I ended up blanking her completely.

It's not really "normal". At least if you're in the UK, traditionally it would be considered rude (especially to say to a baby's parent!) and even possibly bad luck. But I would try not to be distressed over it . Put it behind you if you can.

If it is still bothering you, consider the source: edgy teen/contrarian, jealous older sibling, slip of the tongue/tipsy blunder leading to embarrassment/defensiveness, someone sort of oblivious to cultural norms, someone with a tragic past, someone depressed, someone from a different culture that might have a "bad luck to assume happiness" tradition, someone who actively wants to upset you, etc.?

I think it depends on their life experience. My great aunt & godmother would talk like this, but she lost 12 DCs, so to her it was an "if" but if no tragic circumstances like this as an explanation they are both weird & bloody rude & how dare they try & say it's you that's over sensitive.

Nasty comment

Just wrong

That's a horrible thing to say. What a weirdo.

That's totally bizarre and quite disturbing!

I think you need to reread the OP, carefully.

Weird, I'd put it back on them as @Changechangychange said

Person saying this does sound a bit odd. It isnt a normal response.

What a very bleak view that person has.

That is what I thought. The person who said it is superstitious, and didn't want to tempt fate by saying when.

What an idiot, whoever it was

as PP said:
Using "when" might invoke bad luck for the child

I did and she’s being oversensitive.

It would never occur to me to make such a comment, but I have a dark sense of humour and would laugh it off! No point over analysing, unless they're a suspected murderer!

Yes, this. A friend’s mum was a staunch Methodist and would say “if we’re spared” whenever she agreed to do something in the future. Otherwise she felt she was being presumptuous.

FFS OP didn't need to seek offence here @Bubblegum2022 - nobody implies a healthy 5 month old baby might die before its mother.

But maybe your pets will make it through the weekend without getting run over, your husband isn't gambling your house away & your kids won't die from sniffing glue this weekend eh? How do you like that?

I'd have punched them.

Would you?

Also, this is classic DARVO.
www.banyantherapy.com/darvo/

Acquaintance says horrible distressing thing, but you're pretending it's OP's fault for noticing & feeling weird about it?

Clearly they do as someone has and it was a private conversation between family, OP knows what the family member is like as if they are that bad don’t have anything to do with them.