To be really scared of menopause

[User112]

In my close extended family, one cousin had awful mental health issues for a few years around menopause time. It settled down after her periods stopped.

Similar situation with another - currently going through shit mental state. Suicidal etc

Another started having tremors in hands around menopause time. It never went away completely, but better now.

All these women are my first cousins (my mom’s sister’s children). Aibu to be really scared of menopause - I’m fast approaching 40

You can take HRT if you want to.

I am 41 and in early menopause due to autoimmune issues and HRT has been amazing for me.

Also, just because others in your family have had a horrible time of things it doesn’t necessarily mean you will.

YANBU

I had a blood test.
All spacial awareness had left - Couldn't cross the road, couldn't use bicycle, self medicating booze - that went well Heee
Was jittery in public. My doctor said ' oh, your hormones are not much off the norm.
I was FURIOUS.' Well, it might not be much off the norm for you but I can't operate in daily life'.
I insisted on HRT and you should too
It was a female doctor too. Gawd save us from idiots.

Spacial awareness eh? Well that might explain a few things. Is it unusual as a symptom?

What are you normally like around your periods and what were you like when pregnant? I didn’t really have pmt, was sensitive when pregnant, and have sailed through menopause. No symptoms whatsoever. I don’t know if it is relevant but I take supplements and eat mostly a plant based diet.

As soon as you start to feel off, go to GO right away.
NICE guidance means that greater than age
44 (check that to be sure) they don’t even need blood work to prescribe HRT, they should do it if vasomotor and other symptoms are there (hot flushes, anxiety, palpitations, disturbed sleep
erc).

You don’t have to suffer and you should aim to get your HRT prescribed and the effective dose settled ASAP.

GP

There are so many symptoms for HRT and many women experience it very differently to what they think are classic symptoms.

Crashing tiredness, but nighttime waking is a common problem. Forgetfulness, burning sensation in hands legs etc, can be awful for some.

I've hit the menopause and it's hard bestvthing ever to get rid of periods.
I had a few hot flushes for a few oaths, but now nothing

I would say that for me the symptoms of menopause (which I completely failed to recognise or realise what they were) hit me like a ton of bricks. I later realised that my mum must have experienced the same, which explained a lot about how she had behaved at certain times.
My advice would be to acknowledge that you will experience the menopause (although the symptoms vary from person to person) embrace it and look after yourself. I experienced certain symptoms quite badly and decided to tackle them by changing my diet, taking supplements, walking more, meditation. I'm not sure if any or which of these were effective but it definitely made me feel better. Maybe part of it was that I felt like I was taking charge of it and not just letting it happen to me.

Supplements and a plant based diet?!! No, it's not relevant! How bloody rude.

YANBU to be aware of what the menopause is and how it might affect you. For some people it's not too bad. For the rest of us there is hrt.

not everyone suffers.
HRT helps many as does learning about peri menopause and menopause (two different stages).
diet and exercise does help somewhat.

Your symptoms seem extreme and are not typical of the menopause.

She's an individual like you. Everyone's symptoms will differ.

By far the majority of women experience menopause symptoms. Three out of four women in fact if you do the research.

Not everybody can take HRT. I cannot owing to hypertension and a friend of mine could not as she had diabetes. Not a given.

I do agree with the poster above who stated post menopause is much easier. My periods stopped age 56 but I am now 58 and a year later after menopause I had terribly dry mouth which is still unrelenting. I also wee four times a night unless I sip half a cup of lukewarm water last thing at nught. Recommended by Vogel from whom I buy my monthly menopause supplements. I also get urinary incontinence if I do not do Dr Kegel exercises twice daily.

I honestly believe it is down to pure luck plus how much stress you are in at the time. Plus genetics and how well you take care of yoyrself.

My mum always enjoyed rude health. I however am much more unlucky despite having excellent self care. In my perimenopausal years which went on ten years from the age of 46 I was single parenting my son and I definitely felt decidedly neu rotic.

Everyone's different. My mother and sister both had very difficult menopauses.
I sailed through it.
Don't waste time and energy being scared. You can't know what'll happen, and there are alternatives if you do hit issues.
IF .

I'm not sure menopause symptoms run in families.

My mum says she sailed through it, her periods "just stopped". Whereas I've had a whole range of symptoms from night sweats, mad rage, early waking and wild wild flooding when least expected. Pretty horrible. The good news is there's a lot more information around to arm yourself when talking to GPs and asking for what you need. I'm 5 months without a period now and counting! No doubt this post menopausal stage will bring its own joy!!

I am 51 and will also be glad to see the back of periods. My periods starting becoming irregular a year ago and I am hoping I am not far off the menopause now.

It's not awful for everyone, as pp said a bit like puberty or pregnancy, you might get lucky or you might not.

I deal with a LOT of 40's and 50's women in the course of work and a hobby. Most mention being affected by the usual symptoms but none to the point where they're not functioning.

I agree that self care and a healthy lifestyle helps a lot. If you're worried I'd recommend doing whatever you can to finish your 40s at a healthy weight with good fitness and nutrition. And if you hate your job or your husband or have any other external pressures that need tackling, sort it out now before the hormones go nuts!

Despite other symptoms I have not once had a hot flush or night sweats. Just to show we do not all get the most common symptoms!

How is that rude? She's only giving some advice. It might work for some not for others...

I get you. I would get yourself into the best shape you can physically- lose weight if you need to, lift weights, eat more plant based and cut down or give up drinking. All this will help reduce symptoms. I was just reading the Zoe doctor’s study which was pretty compelling regarding eating more plant based.

Hopefully by the time you need HRT it will be easier to come by.

But remember you don’t hear the stories of women who have sailed through. It’s not all doom and gloom. Fingers crossed it’s OK for you. Myself, I’m pretty unscathed so far. Fingers crossed!

Don't be scared. That will affect how you go through it.

I'm almost 48 so right in the middle. Its been about 6yrs so far, and I'm at the stretch where I'm missing two periods each time. I've not had any flooding yet.

It was my thinking on the matter that helped the most. I started on Menopace vitamins, I changed my eating habits and fast now. I did put on weight, but I'm losing it now. And I had to get my head around being peri and almost 50. I chose to get into my wisdom and listen to my gut.

Dont be scared, but DO get your shit together.

It's been fine for me. And not having periods any more is great