Stupid shit people forgot to mention about parenting

[BlahBl4h]

Mine at the moment is just how many times you can be expected to watch the same fucking movie over and over and over and over.

I want to peel my eyes off.

Anyone?

@Apollonia1 twins are Amazing. Every mum will see them as amazing but we know we can't imagine how hard they will be to get them out, but gosh the bond they have will always come back they will stick up for each other their whole life. Twice the work double the fun!

My DS’s as teenagers…
Dramatically opening the fridge door-
”Look ,there are no snacks! Only food!
Me: “There’s hummus, eggs,cheese, yoghurts,bread, dahl,chapattis, fruit- what more could you need?”
Them: “Real snacks like normal parents provide that come in packets!”

Someone will always need a poo when you've just got into the bath with a glass of wine.

They always want something from the shop.

Wholesome fun family days out doing exciting thing always end up with someone immediately wanting to go home because "It's boring". Just give up and throw food at them in the local park. It's free and at least they might play together and you can read a book.
Oh no wait, "MUMMY SHE'S HOGGING THE ZIPLINE" "MUMMY HE HIT ME BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T WAIT HIS TURN" "MUMMY SHE KICKED ME".

Both children instantly know which buttons to press or triggers to pull when it's taken a therapist and shit loads of cash and yourself fucking years to work it out.

The Absolute Fear of when you let DC walk to the shop by themselves for the first time.

Threadworms. Head lice. Vomit. Ear infections. Social media and fear of what they are being exposed to on fucking youtube.

In the interests of balance, when DC can go to the shop it is very useful because no longer do we have to haul everyone out of the car!

Picking up mid conversation three days after they originally raised the question with no context

Monday Dc "mummy in minecraft.....
Wednesday me "what would you like for dinner?"
Dc "and i killed 100 creepers.,,,

Creeper burger it is then🙄

God where shall I start, You dare'nt

No idea what happened to my post???

Stockholm syndrome.

All parents have it to a greater or lesser extent.

Daddy... he’s at work
daddy... I said he’s at work

daddy, daddy, daddy.....

look love mummy said no and so will daddy because mummy said no...

last night daddy out so we had no problem with going to sleep or saying daddy, daddy, daddy. Mummy doesn’t crack but daddy does and it’s worthless chatter not a want or a need.

You can never look at bolognese again.

you can’t visit the hairdresser without a mild worry that you may have nits.

😂😂 this ks hillarious

@PuttingDownRoots Yes! Or someone on some bizarre combination of drugs where they talk gobbledegook; fall on the floor laughing; take off all their clothes; then run around the dining room table screaming ‘you can’t catch me’. Plus they keep falling over.

That's just bollocks. Of course you can. Self care is important. Put the baby down and brush your bloody teeth for goodness sakes

That this cute little bundle of joy you gave birth to could cause you so many headaches and drama.
That you’d have years of saying go for a wee when she’s dancing and desperate. Ditto one of her her friends.
That you still have to tell your 14 year old and her friends to wash their hands when coming home or before eating. Never heard of the fucking pandemic?!
That this once lovely cutesy thing, who used to hang on your every word would be so full of hate and anger at times toward me. And so embarrassed. And not believe I’m trying to keep her safe like telling me I’m obsessed with her being raped and that it wasn’t going to happen… and not believe me until some middle aged geezer stopped in his car recently to talk to her and scared her to death.
That you could be told off quite so many times in a day for getting everything wrong.
And just how fucking ungrateful they can be!
And just how much drama social media causes and fall outs with other kids. And just how much you’d have to deal with the stupidity or nastiness of other parents.

Currently I am in grip of the TEEN YEARS. 😱 …Not the most enjoyable.

That some sleeping babies make noises like farm animals as they sleep.... fuck me, I forgot between 1 & 2- thought 2 was ill! Nope just a noisy sleeper.

That babies sometimes just will not be laid down! Ds 14 weeks, has still never fallen asleep without being touched/ held

Most of what’s been posted and if you have more than one, being referee in arguments . I have turned into my mother shouting “l don’t CARE who started it, l’m finishing it “ to both rolling their eyes and looking at you like you have betrayed them at the deepest level by not taking their side. Repeat x10 a day so they can reinforce their general idea that you are an idiot ( 10 yr old twin boys )

My DS is 5 and never spoken. I'd love to hear his voice but then I hear peoples kids repeat 'mum, mum, mum, mum, mum' and I look and smile at my quietly very wise and not annoying DC Obviously, I'd rather he speak but some children have a great talent and getting me to appreciate what I have!

DD is not however disabled so far as I know, I'm sure it's coming with her

Newborn babies are a bloody breeze. It is the easiest stage, absolute bliss. Babies in general fine. It's when they start walking and they're into EVERYTHING with no sense of danger. Sigh. Very tiring. Sadly for me DS is still like this now at 5 due to special needs

Oh and poop smearing. It isn't a special needs thing alone. Friends with non disabled DC tell me there's have down it too. Bloody annoying. Not even the smell but knowing where to start when it's CAKED on them and showering down to start won't work, but baby wipes won't cut it to start with. Arghhh

Teeth brushing. That's a bloody pain in the arse and another relentless couple of minutes I'll never get back

When you have 2 DC, you're never 'done'. I use to put DS down and feel done for that day. Bliss. Then DD came along and she stays up later because she's a baby. So once he's down the sigh of relief is replaced with '1 down, 1 to go'

The washing. The bloody washing. How can 2 small people have me doing so much washing?! I have to stay on top. I put 2 washes on a day for a family of 4. I went into hospital for 1 day with DD recently and I was then not up to date and it seemed to take ages to get on top of. After missing it for just 1 day! And no I won't ask my H. He can't be trusted not to put whites in with darks

18? Ha ha ha. Try 25 😁

Some of this just sounds like martyrdom to be honest. Some of this nonsense just would not have been tolerated by my own parents and others I know.

Yep, second this

How to treat them all eqaully.
How to keep girls in particular away from body issues/confidence when diet culture is literally everywhere.
How much they eat. And that it's actually perfectly ok when from every angle again the above is drummed into us to watch their nutrition.when actually letting them go and finding their set pointvworks so much better.
Cost.of.everything.
Cruelty of other kids.
Guilt.
Illness and how it might change your life years later your still fighting for their life and life is not what you ever could have rhought at birth .but love my god the love is unimaginable.and creates an army as a family.
Get them used to being bored now.right now!
Don't fill every gap.let nothing be ok.
Ignore others views.
But instinct.always listen.always.
How ACTUAL strong love is.

There are piles of clothes everywhere!
Too big
Too small
Need labelling
Keep for younger child
Take to charity shop/uniform exchange/friends
For ironing (Lol!)
For mending

The terrible twos lasts for at least 2 bloody years

The bigger they get the more they cost to run. Ending with 2 at university at the same time and bankruptcy!

THIS. It’s a standing joke in our house that DS can hear a packet of crisps being opened through three walls in a thunderstorm.

I went to see Titanic when it came out ( stick with this there’s a reason) and cried all the way through.

my youngest son about 6 years later watched the film and we cried together. After the 8 hundredth time of watching that bloody movie I didn’t cry anymore.

And the “muuuuuummm he said I could go on the > insert game/ PlayStation/Xbox etc” about a zillion times

I miss those days . They grow like a flash and leave you for their own lives ☹️