MH nurse slept with patient

[Ihaveaquestionn]

MH nurse at the local doctors surgery contacted my the patient (my friend) on Facebook after carrying out an assessment over the phone and discussing medication among other things.

The tone of the messaged escalated and they met up and had sex.

MH nurse then turned VERY nasty and borderline abusive over message when my friend made it clear they did not want to pursue anything more serious given their current life situation (MH problems, debt, work stress, children to support)

Not saying my friend is completely innocent here - it takes two to tango. But given the nature of their interaction it’s clear they could be in a vulnerable mental state and I am disgusted at this nurses behaviour. I think it’s completely unprofessional and inappropriate.

They also happen to be my point of contact at our local surgery - who I have been in contact with multiple times during a period of PND and other issues. I suppose I trusted this person and am now feeling quite shocked.

My friend won’t report them. Would I be unreasonable to?

(I have seen messages and pictures that confirm everything above. My friend is not making this up)

YABU - it’s none of your business, stay out of it

YANBU - you need to raise a concern for the sake of other patients

Yes, this is probably true, but IME an awful lot of people who work in MH, often with the most vulnerable people, have very fragile MH themselves.

I work with traumatised teens, I'd say at least 50% of our workforce had terrible childhoods and lasting damage from them themselves, which gives them an empathy people often don't have for troubled teens, but also sometimes makes them very unstable themselves!

I did a counselling course once and dropped out because all the other participants semed to be trying to use it to deal with their own demons.

Unprofessional, Unethical, Completely against safeguarding guidelines - I would report. And feel no guilt about doing so.

Definitely report.

I would say that if your friend is a player that's even more reason to hold very clear boundaries. I don't know how mental health nurses are trained, but from a counselling perspective it's really important when working with someone who is overly sexualised to not relate to them at all in a sexual way. That doesn't just mean actually having sex with them, but not even interacting in a sexual way, flirting, touching etc. Your friends mental health issues may well have arisen from situations where his boundaries were trampled on or other people's were overly rigid. It's important for MH to model appropriate boundaries. Failure to do so can be very confusing and damaging.

Definitely report. The contact via Facebook was inappropriate from the outset let alone the rest! This probably isn't a one off!

Report report report , this does go on I've heard more about male staff with female patients to be honest. It's a gross abuse of power preying on someone when they are at their most vulnerable.

The nurse should definitely not have contacted them on FB. All kinds of professional boundaries have been crossed. I did have a patient send me a friend request once, but I explained to him I was unable to accept it as well as documenting the same in his notes.

And that's even before the meeting up and having sex.

The NMC will make mincemeat out of this nurse.

I've dealt with similar complaints. Contact the Practice Manager/local authority Safeguarding the the police on 101.
They are likely to suspend this nurse pending investigations. Your friend will be spoken to possibly by all 3 parties (including independent investigating officer). They will be able to take someone to the investigation meetings to accompany them.
Completely agree that they shouldn't be practicing and that other vulnerable service users should be protected.

I thought your obvious vagueness made it really clear that the nurse was male and your friend was probably female.

But yes, if you know this is true, you absolutely have to report.

I've been on the sharp end of mental health professionals taking advantage of their position. I was 16 at the time.

It needs reporting to the Practice Manager, police and NMC as well as being raised as a safeguarding.

I’m an RMN and it absolutely will be taken very seriously. It should never happen.

A nurse could be sexually assaulted but I don’t see how they could leave themselves open to being sexually exploited by a patient. We have the skills and knowledge to safeguard ourselves whilst working with patients.

Your poor friend, I’m very sorry this has happened. It’s disgraceful!

I have to admit I am worried he won’t be given the same treatment as a female victim, especially when it comes to the police. Not sure why I feel this way.

Hopefully he won't be given the same treatment; he might actually be offered an adequate service. I've been in several situations with male survivors of SA and they received exemplary service.

Yes I realise how misguided my comment actually was - as if the way female SA victims are treated is something to aim for. I didn’t quite mean it like that but hard to convey how I’m feeling about the whole situation.

Report it immediately though make sure you have the full facts.

These people are dangerous. Just because your friend doesn't want to report it doesn't mean you shouldn't. What if he targets a more vulnerable patient? Someone who can't speak up or defend themselves?

If this was a student and the nurse a teacher would you have second thoughts? The principle is the same. A person in s position of power, taking advantage of someone who is vulnerable (or at the very least in a less powerful position). It is actually very, very illegal. The person can get up to a few years in prison and not be able to work with children or vulnerable adults again. And rightly, the profession doesn't need people like that.

The Trust (if its the NHS) will take it VERY seriously and investigate fully. They don't want that type of scandal so they will take a hard line.

I'm a nurse, report to the practice manager and report to the NMC. This is completely unacceptable.

I called and asked to speak to the practice manager but she was not available. Apparently she will call me back tomorrow. Let’s see…

Do you have the screenshots in your possession? If so save them in case your friend deletes them from your chat history.

i would suggest a video of the message exchange too

Used to work on this profession and this sort of thing does happen. I think there is a huge difference between meeting someone on a night out you knew of years ago and you are both well later on, and her calling up the patient when they are seeking help and going on a date. I would say its an abuse of power and I'm surprised how she behaved after sleeping with the patient too.

Honestly some of the things she has said are absolutely outrageous coming from your average person, let alone a qualified MH professional

He hasn’t sent them yet but I will save them. He had already screen shotted (is that a word) the messages as he was worried about the tone she was taking - I think he’s scared of her

F

Op - ask can she screen shot every message and send to you and make it clear why you are asking..?

Obviously there are situations when it's OK eg someone is admitted to a surgical ward after having an appendix out and gets on well with a nurse. They're then discharged and it's unlikely that their paths will cross in the same way again. They then happen to bump into each other in the pub, get chatting and take it from there. But this scenario is different. The patient is still under the care of the nurse and mental health care is a different kettle of fish. Patients bare their soul to nurses/therapists etc in mental health care and this means there is an imbalance as the patient doesn't have the same knowledge of the nurse or therapist.

Another reason for mental health nurses not to get involved emotionally with patients is that even once the patient is discharged back to the GP, they are often re referred...conditions like anxiety, depression, PTSD are more likely to reoccur or be treatment resistant than, say, a broken ankle!

Spidey - that situation is Not OK either - there are guidances on time limits, vulnerability etc.

<And I know this as I one of the occasions I have been through this crap is a nurse bumping into me in a pub whilst I was still incredibly vulnerable which should would have known and then attempting to keep in contact>

I have reported her to the surgery

Brave and bold but totally the right move / did they explain what will happen next?