MH nurse slept with patient

[Ihaveaquestionn]

MH nurse at the local doctors surgery contacted my the patient (my friend) on Facebook after carrying out an assessment over the phone and discussing medication among other things.

The tone of the messaged escalated and they met up and had sex.

MH nurse then turned VERY nasty and borderline abusive over message when my friend made it clear they did not want to pursue anything more serious given their current life situation (MH problems, debt, work stress, children to support)

Not saying my friend is completely innocent here - it takes two to tango. But given the nature of their interaction it’s clear they could be in a vulnerable mental state and I am disgusted at this nurses behaviour. I think it’s completely unprofessional and inappropriate.

They also happen to be my point of contact at our local surgery - who I have been in contact with multiple times during a period of PND and other issues. I suppose I trusted this person and am now feeling quite shocked.

My friend won’t report them. Would I be unreasonable to?

(I have seen messages and pictures that confirm everything above. My friend is not making this up)

YABU - it’s none of your business, stay out of it

YANBU - you need to raise a concern for the sake of other patients

Please report this to NMC or Practice Manager. This is abuse...it is also likely it is not the first or last time they have done it.

Absolutely report. I’m a nurse. I would report to the safeguarding board, a report to the police and to the NMC. Everyone. Report them to everyone. Abusive fucker.

My friend is a man and the nurse is a woman - just to clarify as I’ve Let it slip in another post anyway

This is my concern. They would have to approach my friend and he would have to cooperate (I assume)

You are right it would be an awful thing to make my friend doubt who they can trust. I suppose I will just have to tell him I’m going to do it.

I don't think you said your friend was a man, actually, did you? I assumed same-sex once you confirmed the nurse was female, as the problems your friend has are more commonly associated with women.

@bumblenbean
Hi. Thanks - it is awful. I have PTSD and anxiety- that’s the kind of damage that can happen when someone takes advantage of their power.
The reason I say police first and then NMC is that we don’t know what evidence there is - whether there are other people who have been targeted too and who and how they were selected and what was done to them.
If the police say it’s not a police matter or they can’t take action, so be it. At least it’s reported.
The police were very good in my case, although there wasn’t sufficient evidence to prosecute.
NMC next because, as you say, they can consider suspending the nurse (I guess it’s the same as the GMC - they have to apply for an interim order).
Report locally (Practice manager) last - not because I’m paranoid or don’t trust local services) but, again just in my case, the doctor got to construct false medical notes (he is a consultant paediatrician) to cover up why he’d had me attend an unnecessary appointment so he could try it on with me (which ended up in the assault- with my daughter present). That was one thing.
The second was that the clinical lead that called me to ask what had happened- and to whom I gave my initial account- wrote down one thing I said wrongly. I emailed her to correct it, she apologised, but now, three years on their solicitor is claiming that was my inconsistency.
The clinical lead also tried to tell me it wouldn’t have been as I stated (verbal abuse I referred to) and said she’d make a formal complaint and contact me to let me know what would happen. She didn’t. She went on holiday. What happened was I had to chase for weeks to get the complaint lodged.
Yhe reason the hospital staff defended him is because he’s married to a man so they assume “gay is gay” and absolutely thrashed my honesty in correspondence, threatening me with legal action, tried to refuse my daughter access to A and E when she had 4 lung conditions at the same time and was severely I’ll (she’s also severely disabled).
I could go on and on

BUT - the point is. The OP and the “victim “ don’t know the extent of this nurse’s behaviour, whether others working with them would collide or just conveniently believe them etc.

Hopefully that wouldn’t be the case.
At ant rate - I’d report to the police and NMC simultaneously if necessary but locally last.

Also - though it will be difficult OP - you need to tell your friend that you will report it and that it’s wrong and you will support them throughout.

*collude

If your friend has asked you not to, then I wouldn’t. I would encourage them to report the nurse. It could make your friends mental health condition worse.

You MUST protect other patients; your friend won't be the only vulnerable person this nurse abused.

Do you have any screenshots of the messages?

It is very possible your friend will just deny it has all happened if you report against her will.

Some are based in GP surgeries as a way of bringing mental health into primary care,

That aside, I'm a community mental health nurse and this is wrong on so many levels. I'm not sure about the police as I don't think a crime has been committed, but the practice needs informing (and they need to raise a safeguarding alert) and the NMC needs to be informed. They could certainly lose their registration for this.

Absolutely report it. What the MH nurse did was a criminal offence, precisely because is sexually exploitative

The same way teachers can't sleep with their 16 year old pupils!
It's power imbalance unprofessional, a safeguarding and is a sexual criminal offence

They will be able to seize the MH nurses telephone

Report it to police safeguarding

Your friend under MH is considered an adult at risk
This nurse cannot be left to continue sexually abusing vulnerable adults at a time their mental health is very low

It's a big red line that she knows she crossing

Very true I used to be a mental health nurse and an ex colleague of mine was dismissed for exactly this ,he was male
Is your friend agreeable to you making a complaint
The trust will absolutely take this seriously, but they will need evidence ,to take action .

Given that the messages were via Facebook- the police can obtain that evidence if they seize the nurse’s phone or get her details.
Depending on how vulnerable the OP’s friend is there could be safeguarding concerns relating to them (under the Care Act) but it absolutely needs to be reported- to the NMC at the very least

PP saying it's not a police matter are mistaken

It is a safeguarding
It is a criminal offence in U.K.- sexual offences act 2003 abuse of position of trust by a care worker with a person with a mental disorder ( your friend was under mental health team)

It is a breach of NMC standards for registration of nurses , she will get struck off

It's likely this Mh nurse is preying on other vulnerable people with mH problems at their most vulnerable time as she sees them as her potential dating pool. It's a huge red line professionals never cross or go anywhere near to

I hope you report this abusive nurse

She is causing untold damage to people

I think the vagueness in OP made it obvious nurse was a woman 😆 Especially the fact friend has children "to support".

Yes, it should be reported, but I don't think I could do it behind my friend's back.

Out of interest, what kind of investigation could there be if the victim doesn't want any action?

It is a police matter, been through something similar. Social services will also be involved.

The nurse will be suspended as soon as the allegation is raised; DBS will also be notified.

I don’t know what would happen if he doesn’t want it investigated - the problem is he is a relatively new friend and I don’t know him well enough to predict his reaction if I reported it and he realised it was me

She is definitely the MH nurse at the local surgery - I speak to her myself and I can see from FB profile she is the same person IYKWIM

In that case OP you need to tell him you want to report and take it from there

Also - are you friends with her on Facebook?

No I am not - why?

Please don't think it's any less harmful that it's happened to a man (I'm not saying you do, but just in case).

It's a massive safeguarding issue and for very good reason. There's a huge power imbalance in mental health between patients and clinical staff (even bigger than in other medical areas) and this is why any kind of sexual relationships are totally prohibited. It is so easy to manipulate someone and they are already in a vulnerable situation. It also messes with people's heads when the person who is supposed to be acting in a boundaried and professional way then exploits them.

This nurse needs to be reported. She is obviously not safe to work with vulnerable people.

Agreed that this is a grave concern that morally should be reported. But I am thinking about @bumblenbean and her rightful concern for evidence. The most traumatising thing for your friend, OP, would surely be to become embroiled in a case that became very painful and then went nowhere.

@bumblenbean can the police seize the nurse’s phone and use any FB postings as real evidence? Does that argue for going to the police first as @Blue4YOU suggests? OP, do you possess copies of the FB evidence or any other evidence?

@bumblenbean you obviously have a lot of expertise and this is very tricky. Any further suggestions?