MH nurse slept with patient

[Ihaveaquestionn]

MH nurse at the local doctors surgery contacted my the patient (my friend) on Facebook after carrying out an assessment over the phone and discussing medication among other things.

The tone of the messaged escalated and they met up and had sex.

MH nurse then turned VERY nasty and borderline abusive over message when my friend made it clear they did not want to pursue anything more serious given their current life situation (MH problems, debt, work stress, children to support)

Not saying my friend is completely innocent here - it takes two to tango. But given the nature of their interaction it’s clear they could be in a vulnerable mental state and I am disgusted at this nurses behaviour. I think it’s completely unprofessional and inappropriate.

They also happen to be my point of contact at our local surgery - who I have been in contact with multiple times during a period of PND and other issues. I suppose I trusted this person and am now feeling quite shocked.

My friend won’t report them. Would I be unreasonable to?

(I have seen messages and pictures that confirm everything above. My friend is not making this up)

YABU - it’s none of your business, stay out of it

YANBU - you need to raise a concern for the sake of other patients

Hi OP,
This is a tough situation. I’m going to advise you (and your friend) from my personal experience of being sexually touched by a consultant in my local hospital.
I would contact the police.
The nurse will not lose their registration immediately as there would be an investigation- and there’s no guarantee how that will turn out.
Im still fighting for justice in my situation- it’s going to court now (civil court) instigated by me because the NHS didn’t believe me.
I would report - in this order.
Police first.
NMC after the police response.
Safeguarding team/lead/responsible officer where the nurse works.
Practice Mansger (last) - there’s a reason I say this and it’s to do with the potential cover ups and hiding/manipulation of evidence by the nurse and other staff who may want to brush it under the carpet.

Completely inappropriate. Report to NMC asap.

I'd assumed it was a man based on an assumption the 'friend' is a woman, and most people are straight, tbh . . .

To be honest I’m not sure I will even tell my friend that I’ve reported it - 3 or 4 people know this happened so it could be any of us

How would you prove it without showing the private messages?

Surely your friend would be questioned about it? Although having said that, I've no idea how this sort of thing works.

Report.

I know you've said you will but I'm adding to the chorus. You're dead right on this and the nurse should lose her license. It would be different if she was, let's say, a surgical nurse, but this is MH.

Do you have any evidence of it yourself? If DF deletes it and the nurse does/did too then is there a way forward?

So they hadn't actually met f2f before the fb messages? How do they know its definitely the nurse they spoke to on the phone?

Wow it was clearly pre-meditated. Going to the trouble of looking him/her up and contacting. It would somewhat more understandable if they’d met in a bar after a few drinks, but she set out to seduce him.

I’d say please, please report. The arrogance is astonishing. As others have said, this sounds like a pattern of behaviour and she’s relying on her patients instability (not having the confidence to report or feel they will be believed).

Also well in Scotland at least, the community mental health nurses aren't based at the GP, they have their own central team. Is this person definitely who they say they are?

@Ihaveaquestionn

just highlighting this post in case you missed it.

the order is very important!!

It would be bad enough for any nurse/Dr/consultant, but a MH nurse is just so far over the line I can no longer see the line!

Please report this - this is disgusting behaviour and people who do this kind of thing need to be stopped. If they are a nurse, they should also be registered and you can report them to whoever registers nurses as well as their employer. Can you get screenshots of the FB evidence?

I’m a regulatory lawyer (my work is all fitness to practise stuff) and this is certainly something the NMC would want to investigate. There’s no guarantee it would result in a removal order as obviously some evidence would need to be presented and if your friend wasn’t willing to participate there may not be enough. If there was sufficient evidence it is certainly at the more serious end of the spectrum involving sexual misconduct as well as subsequent inappropriate messages / behaviour.

If you have copies of the messages etc that would definitely help. If you don’t have those and your friend would not cooperate with an investigation, unfortunately it’s unlikely there would be found to be sufficient evidence of misconduct. can you ask your friend to screenshot the messages?

If you or your friend report it to the nurse’s employer they’re very likely to make an NMC referral themselves, although again there would need to be some kind of evidence available.

Unfortunately, professionals (not just nurses!) abusing their position of trust is not hugely uncommon- but I obviously have a very skewed view due to my work and the vast majority of nurses are wonderful at their jobs.

“To be honest I’m not sure I will even tell my friend that I’ve reported it - 3 or 4 people know this happened so it could be any of us”

@Ihaveaquestionn I think that is really out of order. So you’d rather have your poor friend question the friendship of 3/4 people wondering who it was that invade her privacy rather than own up. Despicable.

This is so shocking! The nurse should be reported for even contacting a patient on Facebook! Awful. Please report to the NMC.

@Blue4YOU I’m sorry you had such an awful experience, it sounds truly horrendous.

I understand why you’ve suggested that order of reporting to the OP based on your experiences but it’s worth noting that the usual approach of the NMC is for concerns to be investigated at a local level before they will intervene. They are likely to want the nurse to have had the opportunity to provide an account to their employer first and in any event would want to speak to the employer in the course of the NMC investigation.

None of this means that the NMC is bound by any conclusion the employer may come to, so it’s not a case of if the employer decides there’s nothing to it the NMC automatically disregards it.

Also, in cases this serious there is the possibility of a temporary order by the NMC restricting the nurse’s practice in which case the employer would obviously need to know.

Given this happened outside of their work place it’s unlikely there’s much the employer could cover up even if they wanted to- not like a case where the nurse has forged records or stolen medication or whatever.

Good luck with your own case- I hope you get the outcome you want.

This absolutely must be reported to Adult Safeguarding and the NMC. This woman is hugely abusing her position of trust and taking advantage of a vulnerable person. We do not want or need people like that in our profession.

You must report it, to the police and the surgery. This person could be having inappropriate relationships with lots of other very vulnerable people. She needs striking off.

Please report this to the NMC, this nurse is abusing her power and has no place in our profession.
Also inform the police and practice manager, this is a huge breach on safeguarding

That's CPNs that you're talking about, they have their own centralised teams. However there are also MH nurses based at GP surgeries as community health and wellbeing nurses (may be different names in different trusts). But there are plenty of MH nurses based in GP surgeries in Scotland.

Please report to the NMC this is a very serious. Anyone who can behave like this cannot remain on the professional register.

I would report it.

If this was a couple years later then it wouldn’t be so bad but it sounds like it was quite soon after so it’s very inappropriate.

Please report. The nurse has overstepped so many boundaries that I don’t quite know where to start. They should be struck off, frankly.

That's really terrible!
But I think it should be your friend's shout, as to whether you report him or not. You could end up making things worse for her. Let her take control on this.

Ooh, interesting. Have just reread the thread, and it didn't occur to me for one second that the nurse would be female.

I think you need to tell your friend you are going to report this- if nothing else, if you mention them by name (and I think you would need to for anyone to be able to act decisively- they’d need evidence not just your say so, given you were not directly involved) then your friend will be contacted to verify the information you have given. Otherwise, they are going to know someone has reported it but not who and that may not be great for them if they aren’t in a great place. Have the courage of your conviction.

Don’t get me wrong, I do agree that this nurse should be reported. As a nurse she is more than aware of her responsibilities, obligations and standards of professional code of conduct. Despite this she decided to pursue a sexual relationship with a patient. She has breached the NMC code of conduct on several fronts and done so with a vulnerable patient. It’s deeply inappropriate behaviour and totally unacceptable. Moreover, this may not be the first time and if not reported, may not be the last. This needs to be highlighted to her employers and the NMC.

However, I still think you should tell your friend. Especially if you are planning to inform the police. I can’t imagine an unsolicited visit from the police about a very personal matter such as this would be great if they aren’t in a great place mentally at the minute (and your OP suggests that they aren’t doing so well). I also question whether this is a police matter, but that’s up to you to decide.