to want the same thing back when neighbour replaces borrowed food?

[castille]

My neighbour often comes round asking to borrow food. She always replaces it, but rarely with what I gave her, eg spelt flour instead of wheat, battery eggs instead of free range, and today UHT milk instead of pasteurised. I said thanks but no thanks to her DD for the milk because I can't stand UHT and we won't use it, and am now thinking that I've probably offended her.

Am I being petty?

no .. next time she borrows ask her to replace it like for like because you really can't use substitutes

I think she should replace like for like - YANBU

YAB slightlyU but i can deffo see why it would piss you off. Think you may be being slightly petty, depends how well you get on with her, could you ask her to replce specific items. Or keep the items and give them back to her wehn she needs mroe food.

I would never use UHT milk either but would proably have taken it and used it in some kind of pudding or sauce.

It's tricky - not sure if YABU. If she is otherwise a good neighbour, AND if you can afford to replace the things you have lent, perhaps just let it go if it happens again.

She may be the type of person who doesn't notice/doesn't care about the same issues you do e.g. battery v free range eggs. Or perhaps she borrows and then can't afford "proper" replacements.

If it is costing you too much then I would be inclined to make a polite excuse next time she asks to borrow something.

It's not the cost, and I'm pretty sure she can afford to replace like for like, so maybe she just doesn't notice/care lollipop. If it had just been once I'd have taken the milk and kept if for emergencies, but I'm a bit fed up with it (as well as tired and grumpy today, doesn't help) and felt like making a point...

We get on ok as neighbours, at least we did

have a 'don't bother to replace just borrow something else when needed' policy, I do with my neighbour - it evens out. bit of olive oil for a can of chickpeas later, some milk for some bread on another occasion. that sort of thing.

I'm with Vacua, I have borrowed random stuff from my neighbour and she borrows stuff from me but I have never even thought of replacing it, I just know that if I ever need anything or vice versa then I can always ask.

I think though if you have asked for it to be replaced then like for like is only polite.

I would love to live somewhere that neighbours borrow food, we have been here 4 years and just started getting a hello from next door. Think yourselves lucky.

exactly my thought cherry...

I'm surprised she replaced it at all. I wouldn't expect my neighbour to replace the odd egg or a cup of flour.

yes, it's nice to have neighbours that you can borrow stuff from.

It has never occurred to me that my neighbour should replace anything that she borrows. We like each other and happily eat and drink wine in each others houses and you can't keep score when you are friends imo.

How much stuff does she borrow??

And how often??

I'd be happy to help out once in a while but any more than that is just lazyness, why can't she go to the shop?

I have given stuff to my neighbour on occasion, but it isn't often so I don't mind and wouldn't expect it back. However, if yours is becoming a problem, when she asks for something, could you just say oh sorry haven't got any of that at the moment, or running really low can't spare any?

i think you are being a little bit petty... agree with belgo and carmenere, keeping exact track of what you borrow and lend is pointless. unless it is every day and she is borrowing enough to make an entire meal.

I have never asked for replacement, she just does! Maybe because I haven't yet needed to borrow anything from her, I don't know. It wasn't one egg btw, but a whole box, and bag of flour etc, and it's about every fortnight of so. She's the kind of person who will launch into a big cake-baking session with her kids before checking she's got all the ingredients! But anyway, she helps me out in other ways and it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things

when you go shopping buy in cheap crappy stuff like basics flower and stuff that she borrows then when she asks give her that stuff, then she will buy you crap back, then you keep that crap stuff in the cupboard to lend her next time and so on.

This leaves you with only a one time expenditure.

My neighbours are pretty good. We don't have a shop on our doorstep and the nearest supermarket is over 6 miles away, so we borrow from each other when we run out.
I keep a couple of chickens and in the early spring they lay like mad! so i give my neighbours some eggs and one of my neighbours will then let me have some of their produce from their garden later in the year.
Bartering is rife around here!
AB

We're always borrowing off each other,rarely do we replace.Evens out .in the end.

If you borrow of her just as much,then just forget the replacing malarky.

We're always borrowing off each other,rarely do we replace.Evens out in the end.

If you borrow off her just as much,then just forget the replacing malarky.

Do what beeper suggests. It's pretty cheeky imo.

christ i never replace stuff that i might borrow. i have owed my neighbour 15 pounds for about 3 months now and keep forgetting to give it back. she doesnt want a cheque, but i never have the cash.

i suppose if it is always one way then it might get a bit annoying but what is the cost of these things? 50p? Not worth losing a friend over.

SHe might just be laid back?

Well cloudhopper, I have to say that if I was your neighbour I would ask you for my £15 back!!! £15 is a far cry from the odd egg of teabag!

Castille, I have to say that I would drop a few hints to my neighbour about writing a shopping list when she goes shopping!!

my god i have just revisited this thread and will leave the cash out in an envelope right now.

most of my friends only lend me money once, to be fair. and i never ever borrow anything because i am so crap at giving it back.

thank god for mumsnet or my neighbour would never get her money back!