Giving address to longstanding internet friend... WWYD?

[julesblues]

Please no judgement or unhelpful answers :)
I've been chatting with a friend (male) online for 3 years. We 'met' through a forum for a shared interest. He was living abroad at the time, I was here in UK.
He's originally from UK but was abroad for a few years for work, but it moving back to UK in the next couple of months.
All checks out on social media and Linkedin.
Have also check the organisation's website and found him on it, complete with a photo. He's the same person in the photos he's sent me, so I have no concerns there.
We've also had a couple of video chats to see each other "in person".
Despite the regular contact (every day!) for 3 years, it's always been online. No postal stuff.
Yesterday he asked whether I'd be willing to give him my postal address as wants to send me a postcard from the country he's living in before he leaves there.
He's never made me doubt him or done anything to make me mistrust him but I'm just cautious of giving my address because I live alone.

I'd be concerned he'd be giving your address for immigration purposes as above, but concealing that for some reason. Just tell him to send pictures by email.

I wouldn’t.

Hardly anyone sends anything through the post anymore as everything can be done through the internet and my suspicions would be raised if he wanted my address for this reason.

There are a lot of manipulative people on the internet and I find being overly paranoid is the best way to stay safe.

There was a documentary not that long ago about women meeting men off the internet and many would spend years talking to them and then eventually sending them gifts etc and then they’d start asking for money and con them.

Im not saying he’s like this but I always think it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Do you have his address?

How far away do you live?

Just say no politely "Thanks, but there's no need to send me a card. Hope you have a safe trip.'

Better than giving your address to a stranger imo 🤷🏻‍♀️ and a better suggestion than giving your friends address too I think 😂

Yeah and potentially never leave!

I've given my address but - we "met" on a Facebook group and I also have his girlfriend on there
We've talked daily for maybe 4-5 years
From his Facebook etc it's easy to see he is a real person

Yes, I agree.

I've given my address to a male 'internet' friend for him to send me something others might think random or 'an excuse'. I also - shock, horror - met him in person without telling anyone where I was going

I think after 3 years of daily contact (and having checked him out other platforms) you know.

I have given my address and telephone number to both a male and female friend I met through an online group. We send each other birthday and Christmas cards and have done for many years and have a group WhatsApp chat where we share parts of our lives with each other. No scams here. We are all defo who we say we are and have met up in real life on a few occasions.

Just ask him to send a photo of the card.

If he’s moving back soon it would have been far more natural for him to give you the address he’s moving to! Because naturally you’d want to send him a ‘Welcome back!’ card …

Big fat no from me!! Use a P O box or work address. Or a c/o friends address.

I would not give out my address. It seems very strange that after communicating for 3 years, he now wants to send you a post-card just as he’s returning to the U.K.
Agree with previous poster.

It's a no from me. The postcard excuse sounds well dodgy

Woman on a channel 5 documentary said she’d video chatted and ended up giving all her life savings away because she believed she was talking to him. Scammers are very clever

Just adding on to what someone else says, he wants your address maybe for immigration purposes.

OP - do you have his address? And not just some PO Box address either.

I don’t get it. What would the scam be? You’ve been in daily contact for 3 years but you’re scared to say where you live, information which used to be easy to look up in any phone book and can now be found online in sites like 192.com and White Pages? You can look up loads of home addresses online. It’s not like he’s asked for bank information or biodata, or has he OP?

I do think there’s a big likelihood he has a crush on the OP / has a delusion that they’re in a relationship, and that he might turn up on her doorstep, declare undying love and expect to stay ‘for a bit’ then be very hard to get rid of. Or have an immigration issue. But a ‘scam’ seems unlikely unless he’s been asking for other info.

OP it’s your friendship, you have to manage it. If you don’t trust him and are feeling pressured, why chat to him every day? I’d probably ignore the request / make jokey refusals like “I’m am international woman of mystery, I never give out my address” -> ditch him if he gets annoying about it.

Obviously I know scammers do try and gain your trust. But find it hard to believe that he'd take 3 years to try and scam the OP!

I've given out my address to a few people who've said they want to send me something. All that ever happened was I received what they sent. I had known them online for quite a bit longer though and it was from a community where lots of people know each other. I'm also a bloke and less worried about encountering a pest though

I wouldn't.

Postcards are so unnecessary these days. You can share everything online so easily that as pp says it seems like a way to get your address rather than anything else.

I agree with PPs to an extent BUT, saying he just wants to send you a postcard seems rather odd - like an excuse.

Not for a postcard. Sounds well dodgy.

I don’t get it. What would the scam be? You’ve been in daily contact for 3 years but you’re scared to say where you live, information which used to be easy to look up in any phone book and can now be found online in sites like 192.com and White Pages? You can look up loads of home addresses online. It’s not like he’s asked for bank information or biodata, or has he OP?

You can only find that information out about people online if they make it available in the first place, though.

I agree that I don't think it's a scam, but I do think there's something a bit weird about the whole thing.

Hardly anyone sends anything through the post anymore as everything can be done through the internet

This is absolute bollocks… you just have to Google “ post crossing” or mail art or just good old fashioned pen palling. I’m away at the moment and I’ll be sending a hand written letter and postcards so not everyone is about the internet. I’d personally give out my address if I’d invested that amount of time in a friendship.

"Yesterday he asked whether I'd be willing to give him my postal address as wants to send me a postcard from the country he's living in before he leaves there."
That just feels like an odd request and pings my radar. Why send you a postcard? Why would you want a postcard? The postcard is a red herring, he wants your address full stop. Why would he want your address - to turn up on your doorstep. Could be he thinks that would be a great joke and so funny, could be he thinks it would be so so romantic, could be he intends to do the 'I've got nowhere to live 'sob story , my rental fell through, yadda yadda yadda.

He would not be getting my address off me.