Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have you ever felt evil or that something was deeply wrong?

522 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 01/08/2022 09:25

Inspired by an experience I had recently that has really rattled me. It's very outing as I've talked to everyone in my real life about it, it bothered me so much so I'll keep it brief.
I met some people I hadn't met before to buy an item from FB marketplace. Its a fairly rare item, and an expensive one so I went off to see if it was the right thing. The house was beautiful, it was a very large manor house that has been turned into huge expensive period flats,the grounds were amazing and the people were nice but a few odd things happened that were boundary testing and also some oddly timed things happened. While I was there I felt OK, it was a beautiful place, very quiet and entrancing but as I drove away I had this overwhelming sense of relief that I was leaving, and I was scanning my brain for any information I'd told them about myself in case they could find me. I am not a scared person or one prone to flights of fancy , this has never happened to me before. I had a physical reaction to the street they live on when I drove past some days later. My brain said "I'm never going up there again" and I keep having that feeling of having been in a bubble, it bursting and me being glad to be away from it. A weird story I know. Anyone had similar? I just know there was something deeply wrong there. I even asked my lovely neighbour to send a prayer up for me to protect me , and I would consider myself a non believer!

OP posts:
zaffa · 01/08/2022 13:16

Idontwantthat · 01/08/2022 10:23

Not evil per se but a I got a very strange/negative feeling from a trio of men who came to deliver a wardrobe I'd bought from them on FB marketplace.

I couldn't shake the vibe they'd given me for a few days and wondered whether the wardrobe had some bad energy atattched to it 😂

Did you write a thread about this? I vaguely recall it!

AchatAVendre · 01/08/2022 13:16

Those comments would give anyone the creeps OP. You are right to identify them as boundary pushing. Perhaps they were trying to recruit sexual partners by luring them to their house via FB Marketplace!

I work in the Law and so have had some training in this (DSMV diagnostic criteria, certain case studies, etc) and I think a lot of it is to do with people picking up on boundary pushing by not following social norms, or perhaps sub-consciously noticing but not registering something out of place or someone scouting an area.

I've had the same reaction a couple of times and I couldn't say whether I've been wrong or not. Theres a lot of angry, aggressive people around who will generally back down in fear of consequences, but psychopaths don't generally feel fear and so tend to react differently. There will be something slightly "off" about them.

I once lived next to a man called Robert Black and had an argument with him about something minor. He behaved in such a chilling and aggressive way that I reported him to the police because I thought it would act as a deterrent against him doing something really serious. Not all that many years later, he had married a wealthy woman and then murdered her: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-15875688

There are a few predatory types who seek out multiple sexual partners or who marry for predatory reasons. Its a recognised behaviour. These types are highly manipulative, cunningly convincing liars and often mirror people's interests.

In general, be wary of strangers on the internet, whether that be online dating, FB marketplace or whatever. It really enables charlatans to ply their trade...

LuckyCat4 · 01/08/2022 13:20

I took my new baby to visit a relative that we didn't see very often. He was holding the baby and I just had this awful sense that he was weighing up not giving her back to me. It was something in the way he reacted when I said we'd have to leave soon and I felt this huge unease and was genuinely scared that he'd somehow try and keep her/us in his house.

I do recognise this could have been post natal anxiety, overprotective mum with a new baby etc but I never had a reaction to anyone else and we visited lots of people/ had lots of visitors.

The sense of relief when I got us out of there was enormous.

LGY1 · 01/08/2022 13:22

3 pages down into this thread, reading every response. Home alone
one of my sons cars starts playing songs on its own. FFS! 😱

whatkindoffuckeryisthisss · 01/08/2022 13:28

potniatheron · 01/08/2022 12:34

Yes absolutely. Long story short but many years ago I met a man in a nightclub and went home with him (stupid I know). When we walked in, certain items in his living room troubled me but I thought I was just being oversensitive. But he seemed very nice and kind of, I dunno....beta male, like a bit of a waffly Hugh Grant figure? But as the minutes wore on it felt like he was putting on an act. But I put that down to him just trying to be attractive to me in a non-threatening way, I thought it was quite sweet.

See - female socialisation was making me override these little instinctive niggles that I had.

i was quite drunk and therefore relaxed but then he went out to the kitchen to pour us both a drink and in that moment I heard, I SWEAR I physically heard it, a voice very close to my left ear, or maybe in the left side of my head, say, very clearly, "Get out of here now." It wasn't my own voice, or any voice I thought I knew, but it was somehow a familiar, authoritative voice and one I trusted. So I literally got up and ran. Left some of the contents of my handbag but not my purse or keys thank god. There were two chains on his front door but once I undid those I opened it with no problem and just left and ran down the road. Middle of nowhere, countryside, no buses or anything that I knew about (no mobile phone, just pre- the era where everyone had them, early 00s). After ages of walking I saw a cab and, thank Goddess, it was a female cab driver who listened kindly to my blurted out tale of fear and possible paranoia and said she thought I'd done the right thing.

Mad and creepy but I'll never forget it.

What were the items on the table that made you feel uneasy?

whatkindoffuckeryisthisss · 01/08/2022 13:31

crochetmonkey74 · 01/08/2022 09:25

Inspired by an experience I had recently that has really rattled me. It's very outing as I've talked to everyone in my real life about it, it bothered me so much so I'll keep it brief.
I met some people I hadn't met before to buy an item from FB marketplace. Its a fairly rare item, and an expensive one so I went off to see if it was the right thing. The house was beautiful, it was a very large manor house that has been turned into huge expensive period flats,the grounds were amazing and the people were nice but a few odd things happened that were boundary testing and also some oddly timed things happened. While I was there I felt OK, it was a beautiful place, very quiet and entrancing but as I drove away I had this overwhelming sense of relief that I was leaving, and I was scanning my brain for any information I'd told them about myself in case they could find me. I am not a scared person or one prone to flights of fancy , this has never happened to me before. I had a physical reaction to the street they live on when I drove past some days later. My brain said "I'm never going up there again" and I keep having that feeling of having been in a bubble, it bursting and me being glad to be away from it. A weird story I know. Anyone had similar? I just know there was something deeply wrong there. I even asked my lovely neighbour to send a prayer up for me to protect me , and I would consider myself a non believer!

If I went to buy something off fb marketplace and they expected me to have tea on the lawn with them and wanted to know what my childhood like I would have been absolutely freaked out too.

I wouldn't have gone alone or walked into their house alone, though. If I needed to go in their home to see it I'm not sure I'd have gone at all or I would have taken someone with me.

Eeksteek · 01/08/2022 13:31

I don’t believe any sort of psychic woo stuff. After all, no one would ever be attacked if we had any sort of innate ability to see it coming. It’s largely confirmation bias. I’m pretty sure if you could look back at CCTV there would be subtle signs that you perceive non verbally - they were there but not concrete enough for one to have more than an impression. I also know things can objectively be there that we can’t perceive. My dogs can smell a teaspoon of sugar in a swimming pool. Bees can see lights and colours totally invisible to my eyes. Snakes can detect heat and vibration. Pigeons can bloody navigate across the globe and Elephayes remember the way to water homes they haven’t visited for decades. I can’t go the same way to the hospital twice or remember where I left my car keys. There are probably thousands of other things waiting to be discovered by science. Senses are variable and not anyways interpretable by the teeny bit of our brain that we think does the thinking. So we get ‘a feeling’

But feelings are very definitely fallible. We actually enjoy manufacturing strong feelings based on fictitious circumstances, for entertainment. Haunted houses etc being a case in point - we actively seek an unpleasant and undesirable feeling for kicks. We humanly seek narratives that support our feelings and views long after it becomes blindingly obvious the facts don’t support them. Feelings are affected by tv, seasons, hormones, food, drugs, sleep. Almost anything. Which makes them powerful, but virtually useless in practice. We are a very easily suggestible species. We also routinely and actively suppress feelings to behave in socially acceptable or expected ways. Sometimes a feeling is triggered by something too fleeting or subtle to register consciously and sometimes it’s just entertaining or fooling oneself. No way to know, most of the time.

The OP listed numerous very inappropriate and very easily noticed things that rightly set alarm bells going. I bet the DV victims could also look back and list lots of things they forgave, overlooked and explained away (not that they should have to). The posters who said they had just had bad feelings of one sort or another often have no events that followed. Or sometimes they did have events that followed, but they didn’t feel strongly enough to do anything at the time. It doesn’t invalidate the vibes. But it doesn’t validate them as indications of something factual either. Often if you DO something different, you prevent the thing you are predicting, so it’s inherently unprovable (it’s astonishing how we as a species will ‘believe’ unshakeably in unprovable or soundly disproven concepts, and yet dismiss out of hand things that are proven over and over beyond common sense. Look at that ghastly vaccine doctor - absolutely rot, all of it by any possible measure, yet the anti vax movement just will not die!)

We aren’t animals. We are virtually deaf, blind, have a useless sense of smell and really crappy instincts compared to animals. We’re human. Poor perception of virtually everything, an ability, in fact a need, to fool ourselves and others, a need to seek a narrative that supports pre-conceived ideas and the frankly idiotic belief (in the face of all the evidence) that we are good judges of character and read situations well. We don’t. We have lots of poorly founded and firmly held beliefs and we discount or elevate facts to support them as required. There’s no blame or criticism attached to this. It’s just being human. By all means act on your feelings. No one can know which are well founded ones. Try to be honest with yourself, look harder for evidence and welcome the likelihood that you are wrong. (I don’t know why we hate to be wrong so much. We are all the time. Yet no one likes to admit it, even when it doesn’t matter at all. The best thing about science, and what elevates it above all other systems imho is that it actively seeks to be wrong. It’s the best way to learn)

cheveux · 01/08/2022 13:31

DM is Irish and was brought up in a very devout Catholic family. The preist they had when she was a young child used to visit all the parishioners weekly - he’d just pop in for tea etc. and everyone in the community loved to see him. He was very well respected and beloved. DM hated him - even as a baby she used to scream whenever he visited. It used to mortify my grandparents as obviously he was very important. When she was a little girl she says she could tell when he was about to visit and would run and hide in the pig sty in their garden. She’s very polite but she just couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him, like you OP, she said she felt he was “evil”. She always said “he just gave me the creeps.” He was moved to a different parish quite suddenly when she was about 10, and obviously now with all the awful things about catholic priests that have come out in recent years, it seems pretty likely her instincts may have been right. It’s so sad to think about.

It’s interesting though because as an adult DM is a very good judge of character - she’s almost always right about people even if others have a very different first impression.

TwittleBee · 01/08/2022 13:35

Growing up I always felt uneasy around my cousin (I have distinct memories of being fearful of him when we were both as young as 3). He never done anything "evil" or even remotely mean to me but I always felt like he was capable. He went on to commit murders in his early 20s.

AchatAVendre · 01/08/2022 13:35

AchatAVendre · 01/08/2022 13:16

Those comments would give anyone the creeps OP. You are right to identify them as boundary pushing. Perhaps they were trying to recruit sexual partners by luring them to their house via FB Marketplace!

I work in the Law and so have had some training in this (DSMV diagnostic criteria, certain case studies, etc) and I think a lot of it is to do with people picking up on boundary pushing by not following social norms, or perhaps sub-consciously noticing but not registering something out of place or someone scouting an area.

I've had the same reaction a couple of times and I couldn't say whether I've been wrong or not. Theres a lot of angry, aggressive people around who will generally back down in fear of consequences, but psychopaths don't generally feel fear and so tend to react differently. There will be something slightly "off" about them.

I once lived next to a man called Robert Black and had an argument with him about something minor. He behaved in such a chilling and aggressive way that I reported him to the police because I thought it would act as a deterrent against him doing something really serious. Not all that many years later, he had married a wealthy woman and then murdered her: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-15875688

There are a few predatory types who seek out multiple sexual partners or who marry for predatory reasons. Its a recognised behaviour. These types are highly manipulative, cunningly convincing liars and often mirror people's interests.

In general, be wary of strangers on the internet, whether that be online dating, FB marketplace or whatever. It really enables charlatans to ply their trade...

Apologies, I should have said Robert Brown. Why do so many of these types have very ordinary, forgettable and easily confused names too?

InvisibleDragon · 01/08/2022 13:40

Yes. Was running round a small park when it was dusk (not a great idea - I was about 19 though). There were a few bushes to the side of the path. As I approached, I kept having the thought "What if someone was hiding behind those?"

I tried to dismiss it, but it got more insistent until, as I passed the bushes, I ended up leaping over a puddle to avoid having to go near them.

There was a man standing in the shadows. Just saw his body and the glow from his cigarette.

Went on running up to the top of the path, telling myself he was just having a smoke and it was all fine. Looked back and he was crossing the park to the trees my route would take me through next.

Legged it out a different exit and went home. Perhaps it was all totally innocent, but the fear was real.

I think sometimes our brains unconsciously put together several small things that on their own are innocuous but which together are unusual to create a "gut feeling" that something is off. If you look back afterwards, you can sometimes identity the small things, but if they are not obviously linked, it can be hard to spot.

In your case:

  • marketplace seller offering afternoon tea is excessive and overly forward - putting you off guard? Trying to create a feeling of friendship/closeness?
  • obviously untrue flattery - looking for someone gullible?
  • comments about absent father - looking for emotional vulnerability?
  • comments about their sex life - deliberately pushing a boundary to see if you accept this?

Each thing on its own is a bit off, but not concerning. Together, as a pp noted, it suggests they are possibly trying to identify vulnerable people/women with low self esteem, possibly for sexual purposes. Which is not nice at all.

CoastalWave · 01/08/2022 13:47

Yes. Bloke i worked with. Beyond weird.

Sounds awful but it was posted to say he had died with Covid during lockdown. I was beyond relieved, as I always said to husband if I ever disapppeared and no one knew where I was , this guy would have had something to do with it. Phew.

potniatheron · 01/08/2022 13:52

whatkindoffuckeryisthisss · 01/08/2022 13:28

What were the items on the table that made you feel uneasy?

They weren't on the table but on the walls of his living room. Vintage /antique weapons from another era and culture. I don't want to say more as they were quite niche (NOT Nazi stuff - obviously if I'd seen that I'd have been out of there like a shot!) and they kind of freaked me out, as they were clearly still usable and capable of causing serious injury. But I overrode my fear by reasoning that he was a nerdy, almost ascetic type so it was just a collecting hobby of his. I couldn't actually get up the nerve to ask him about them, though.

Johnnysgirl · 01/08/2022 13:58

CoastalWave · 01/08/2022 13:47

Yes. Bloke i worked with. Beyond weird.

Sounds awful but it was posted to say he had died with Covid during lockdown. I was beyond relieved, as I always said to husband if I ever disapppeared and no one knew where I was , this guy would have had something to do with it. Phew.

How could you work with someone you're in mortal terror of, to the point where you're warning family where to look in the event of your disappearance?!
The lives some people lead...

FOJN · 01/08/2022 14:09

I think sometimes our brains unconsciously put together several small things that on their own are innocuous but which together are unusual to create a "gut feeling" that something is off. If you look back afterwards, you can sometimes identity the small things, but if they are not obviously linked, it can be hard to spot.

I think that's exactly what happens. I've never believed there was anything mystical about intuition. I believe we observe and unconsciously note patterns of behaviour and those details are unconsciously triggered when we sense something off about people. I don't think it's necessary to stop and analyse how we feel in the moment; if we sense danger we need to leave the situation. Whether we are right or wrong will then always be unprovable but it's still better to leave and not know if we were wrong than to stay and find out we were right.

BlankTimes · 01/08/2022 14:23

@AchatAVendre

Apologies, I should have said Robert Brown. Why do so many of these types have very ordinary, forgettable and easily confused names too?

Robert Black was a serial killer and a paedophile.

SunnyNunny · 01/08/2022 14:24

A few times.
A tutor - could not be in the same room as him. There was nothing he was doing/saying/how he looked. Perfectly pleasant person. He made my blood run cold. Refused to go to his tutorials.
A colleague. Similar, just utterly gave me the creeps.

caramac04 · 01/08/2022 15:04

My friend, I’d describe as very vulnerable at the time, met a new chap. Brought him to my house a few times.. My normally friendly dog appeared to dislike him more each visit. The last time he came she reared up at him aggressively and I managed to grab her collar before she got to his face. He said put her outside but I wouldn’t. He was definitely off. Two days later he completely battered my friend who barely managed to call an ambulance and was in hospital a week due to the injuries he caused.

Somethingsnappy · 01/08/2022 16:00

@potniatheron... What items were troubling you in his living room?

potniatheron · 01/08/2022 16:06

Somethingsnappy · 01/08/2022 16:00

@potniatheron... What items were troubling you in his living room?

Lots of weapons hung on the walls of his living room. Vintage /antique weapons from another era and culture. I don't want to say more as they were quite niche (NOT Nazi stuff - obviously if I'd seen that I'd have been out of there like a shot!) and they kind of freaked me out, as they were clearly still usable and capable of causing serious injury. But I overrode my fear by reasoning that he was a nerdy, almost ascetic type so it was just a collecting hobby of his. I couldn't actually get up the nerve to ask him about them, though.

CactusBlossom · 01/08/2022 16:11

I once had to work in a place that I really hated - posted to a different building. I had this feeling that there was something evil about the place. Later I discovered that the place had been used to debrief Nazis. This made me think of the play The Stone Tape.

Trust your intuition. Better to be on the safe side.

forinborin · 01/08/2022 16:13

I had this feeling about a guy i went on a date with (donkeys years ago, in different country). Perfectly pleasant on the surface, just some weird mannerisms, but something was just so off. I nearly went to his place with him (I really struggled at the time with personal boundaries and saying no). He was in the papers in a few months - yes, rape and murder.

I now have exactly the same feeling about a remote female acquaintance. Stopped all contact at all, but she still manages to find me somehow (even "accidentally" bumping in me when I leave the office - haha, what a surprise, what a serendipity, fancy a drink?) She lives hours away and doesn't work anywhere near me. I actually told my family that if anything happens to me, she has to be investigated.

AchatAVendre · 01/08/2022 16:18

forinborin I had this feeling about a guy i went on a date with (donkeys years ago, in different country). Perfectly pleasant on the surface, just some weird mannerisms, but something was just so off. I nearly went to his place with him (I really struggled at the time with personal boundaries and saying no). He was in the papers in a few months - yes, rape and murder.

I actually google search the names of individuals I've found particularly creepy/disturbing over the years. Thats how I found that my former neighbour Robert Brown had been jailed for killing his wife.

Recently I did a google and found that 1 other man I'd had a bad feeling about had been jailed and another is going through the court process. Theres a further individual I have a real bad feeling about and I wouldn't be surprised to see him in the newspapers for something really serious. But what can you do? Even in the case of another wife killer, Malcolm Webster, it emerged that over the years, a large number of people had reported their concerns about him to the police concerning acts that should have been investigated, and were ignored.

goldfinchonthelawn · 01/08/2022 16:20

Elphame · 01/08/2022 09:50

Yes indeed.

Many years ago I once bought an object at auction. It was lovely. I picked it up before bidding, had a good look at it etc and it was fine. I was the only bidder and got it for virtually nothing (yay!).

However the moment the gavel fell I was seized with complete revulsion. The thing was giving off such unpleasant vibes that I didn't want anything to do with it. When the time came to pay I went up to settle my bill ( I had bought several other things too) and told the auctioneer I would pay for it but please throw it away. I wasn't even going to touch it. Luckily they let me off!

I often wonder what that was all about.

That is a great story. As if the evil object was trying to will you to buy it, to find a new home, but you won the battle.

goldfinchonthelawn · 01/08/2022 16:26

crochetmonkey74 · 01/08/2022 09:53

The sudden appearance of a friend from the building who also 'wanted to meet me'
Personal compliments that could not be true (I'm a size 18/20) they were saying how slim I was
The one person told me how her and her husband had loud sex and no one minded
All these things were said in a genteel way and were sort of buried in very refined and polite setting (tea on the lawn) amongst other conversation. They had made a tea tray so I could sit while they collected the item. As we were talking, they asked me questions about how I grew up but then made leaps to personal things " was your father absent, it can be hard growing up with an absent father " (I hadn't mentioned my dad, only my mum)
It gave the sense of a cult, trying to hook you.
I know there will be posters who say they would have immediately challenged or left but these things were sort of buried in enough normality that I didn't process it straight away. I was probably there 20 mins in all

What on earth were you buying? Was it in any way relevant to bringing up comments about your looks and sex?

I don't recall having that feeling irl but there is a famous TV actor who absolutely gives me the creeps. He looks pure evil to me, like he would take pleasure in harming people and getting away with it. He's a leading man type, getting on a bit now, who I suppose some people must think good looking but he makes my flesh crawl. I'd love to know if my instinct has any basis in truth.

Swipe left for the next trending thread