I give birth 3 months ago to a beautiful DD. First grandchild/niece in my DH's family, most older than DH so very unlikely any of them will have children of own, although all in happy relationships.
Shortly after she was born, SIL asked to come meet her, DH from another country, so had to be planned in advance. I told him at time no more than 4 nights as I am someone who needs personal space and struggles after a while, especially adding breastfeeding/pumping and sleep into mix. He told me that they would be out most days/evenings anyway, we would only see then in the mornings and do something with them at weekend, which I figured would be okay as I wouldn't have to entertain every evening. So they came for 8 days.
Needless to say they have not been out every evening, or a single evening for that matter. They have been here 6 days already and have only done their own thing twice. Every morning I happily let them play with her whilst I get ready, but then feel bad when I have to take her for naps etc. Then as they are only visiting, there seems to be an expectation that I hand her over as soon as she is fed/slept. Have had to prepare/arrange evening meals each night. Have had to slip in and pump in my room, where baby is asleep as I don't feel like doing it in front of them.
Also getting increasingly annoyed that everytime I am trying to change her nappy or clothes, his sister joins to play with her whilst I do this. We had to give an emergency bath the other day, and both her and partner just followed me into my bedroom, which is a mess, to be part of the bath time and of course play with her.
Did raise with DH and he has apologized and said he thought they would be out more and he has been doing things to get them out of the house, including buying tickets for a show and taking them for walks to see things. But he has said that I need to understand that the culture in his country is more relaxed, at which point I snapped at him and told him it doesn't matter what their culture is, this is my home and I am allowed my personal space to be respected and not to be treated like some kind of wet nurse, here to feed then hand my child over.
He then said I should understand they wanted a baby but couldn't have one, so it is nice for them to spend time with DD. And they haven't been out much as they can't afford to as her partner doesn't work. So I have also essentially been funding their trip as well, nearly every meal, drink, ticket has been paid for from our joint account.
They have now asked that we come visit them for a week, to spend more time with our DD. As well as planning another visit of their own sometime in November. I have told DH to shut both down immediately, yet still get the same spiel about being sensitive to their situation and wanting to spend time with DD.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking this visit is too much and getting fed up with their constant presence? And also thinking that despite empathizing with their situation, it doesn't mean I have to share my parenthood with them?