Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’m out of contraceptive options

115 replies

MandyRice · 01/08/2022 07:48

I was on microgynon my whole life and loved it but at 44 I’m too old now.

Tried a coil twice and expelled it both times (doctor thinks it might be the shape of my cervix).

Now on Cerazette (mini pill) but it’s giving me mood swings.

Is there something I’m missing? I’m starting to think I need to get off hormonal contraception as the only one which suited me is no longer safe. What else is there? Diaphragm? I can’t get my head round how this works unless you know in advance exactly when you’re going to have sex or else kill the mood by disappearing off to the bathroom for 10 minutes, and the whole idea of it makes me feel a bit grim.

Am I missing something? DH isn’t up for a vasectomy and that’s fine. Half tempted just to assume I’m too old to have a baby and bin the lot.

OP posts:
CookPassBabtridge · 01/08/2022 14:18

I don't understand how condoms are a mood killer, literally takes a few seconds and back to it. I'm 37 and haven't taken hormones since early 20s, no way do I want to have unnatural moods and personality etc.

CookPassBabtridge · 01/08/2022 14:19

Ex had snip and hasn't looked back!

StarlightLady · 01/08/2022 14:50

I've become quite adept at putting a condom on someone with my mouth. No complaints received. I can even ddi it with my hands behind my back.

StarlightLady · 01/08/2022 14:51

ddi it - do it. I can't type so well though 😂

Mangogogogo · 01/08/2022 15:29

Have you tried the injection? I was at the end of my tether (although mine is endo too :( ) and it is fucking fantastic so far (3 years in!)
were done but I would never just expect my partner to get a vasectomy- that has to be his choice.
none of my female friends like condoms, but their partners are fine with them! I don’t like them, they’re not painful or anything I just prefer to not have to think about it.

may I ask how people afford condoms? We have sex most days, it would cost a fortune? Or do you get them free?

i don’t really understand whne people say withhold sex. I don’t have sex for my partners benefit I have sex because I like it, why on Earth would anyone withhold it? Do you just have sex because he wants it? Cos that’s concerning

SavoirFlair · 01/08/2022 15:35

🙄to all the people who are queuing up to say “condoms”, some even posting sparkly emojis and stars around it.

The OP has not indicated she wants that as an option. And as many others in this thread have explained, condoms are not for everyone in a relationship.

I have personally never used them in my LTRs (and yes, folk have been tested as have I). I just can’t stand the sensation, I would rather feel everything and that’s what I prefer. I can understand if others also feel that way, including the OP.

longtompot · 01/08/2022 15:36

I'm 50 and have been on the depo provera injection for about 2 years with no real issues. It's not stopped my periods but that's down to a different known issue. My ed has been on it for about 4 years, she's 25, and she doesn't get periods at all

GreenLunchBox · 01/08/2022 15:39

Why is OP not responding to the people that have pointed out that her age alone is not a contraindication to Microgynon? 🤔

Threads like this are a waste of time

Original poster
MandyRice · 01/08/2022 15:47

Feel free not to post, @GreenLunchBox 😉 I’ve put as much info up as I feel comfortable with.

It’s been a very helpful thread for me in terms of info on some of the options I know less about. Thank you, all.

OP posts:
Ilovemydog5 · 01/08/2022 15:50

It can take a while to settle with something. Before having my kids I took microgynon. Can't now as too fat and old. I don't actually need to use Contraception as not sexually active but I suffer from terrible awful mood swings before my period that were seriously affecting my life. My gp put me on desogestrel (mini pill) that I read lost of awful reviews on but I persevered. I bled for 3 months non stop but then it all stopped and it stopped my moods aswell. I haven't bled at all now for over a year. It is the best thing I have ever taken. I was told you can take it until your 55 which I have full intention to do, hoping that by then I will be post menopausal

Nodancingshoes · 01/08/2022 16:17

I'm 46 amd have had an implant since age 40. Just had my third one fitted. I don't bleed at all and have never suffered any side effects. Its been great for me

Cameleongirl · 01/08/2022 16:24

Please don’t abandon contraception , I know several people who’ve had surprise babies in their mid-40’s!

My DH was happy to have a vasectomy as he 100% knew he didn’t want any more children. I was equally willing to have my tubes tied. It might be worth looking at a permanent solution.

ILikeHotWaterBottles · 01/08/2022 16:28

I've got the implant. It's not perfect (most contraceptives aren't for most people anyway), I get mood swings sometimes, but my cramps aren't as bad and my periods aren't as bad either so I just continue with it. Some people have bad effects but you won't know unless you try.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 01/08/2022 16:40

saleorbouy · 01/08/2022 09:20

If you are not intending to have more children then why not elect for a more permanent solution for either DH or yourself.
I'm often puzzled why many DP rule out vasectomy as an option. Personally I'd rather my DW did not subject her body to unnecessary hormonal treatment and the operation is very minor.
Many men seem to fear the procedure without fully investigating it. I would urge more men to research and understand this option rather than flatly ruling it out and leaving their OH to work out a solution.

100%

My DH was really squeamish about the idea just because he assumed it was painful and kind of not the done thing. We’d half talked about it, but he was being a bit slow to look into it. Then one night at the pub, he and his friends landed on the topic of depression and how much many of their wives had struggled with terrible moods while on hormonal contraception. In that conversation, FOUR OUT OF FIVE of his friends revealed they’d had vasectomies as a solution. These are just regular dudes… an IT guy, a teacher, a beer marketing manager, and a sales rep. They’d all had the snip after having their second child, and it had been pretty effortless and relatively painless, and took HUGE strain off their wives.

My DH did some more research and had his vasectomy a few months later. It was a huge relief to me, as I’d had depression while on the pill, and anemia, fainting, and persistent bleeding while on the copper coil.

Men need to talk about this more and end the stigma and squeamishness!

Cameleongirl · 01/08/2022 16:44

@UpToMyElbowsInDiapers Yes, most of DH’s peers have had vasectomies, I was surprised at how common it was!

StarlightLady · 01/08/2022 16:52

For those querying the price of condoms, you can pick up a box in the supermarket with your weekly shop for around £15. Comparable to most bottles of wine. And in my bedside drawer they last longer than the wine!

GreenLunchBox · 01/08/2022 16:56

StarlightLady · 01/08/2022 16:52

For those querying the price of condoms, you can pick up a box in the supermarket with your weekly shop for around £15. Comparable to most bottles of wine. And in my bedside drawer they last longer than the wine!

A box doesn't last very long so that's EXPENSIVE Confused

Mangogogogo · 01/08/2022 17:18

£15! Jesus

Whataretheodds · 01/08/2022 17:27

Condoms with lube inside and outside. A world away from condoms without. Get ribbed or dotted.

Also, track your cycle as you come off hormonal contraception - you might not need to use them all the time.

SirenSays · 01/08/2022 17:34

£15?! Jesus thats expensive. How many do you get in a box? Can't be many, maybe 15/20?
Ive never been so appreciative of all the free ones I was given by the clinic as a teen.

Plumtreebob · 01/08/2022 17:38

@SirenSays its roughly a £1 a condom but some of clinics still give them out for free. Still cheaper than a baby 😉 but given other forms are free, condoms should be more widely available for free

acuteanxiety · 01/08/2022 17:44

Condoms used to hurt me but then I think the material they are made from has been imrpoved on and they no longer bother me, could you give them a go ?

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 01/08/2022 17:46

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 01/08/2022 16:40

100%

My DH was really squeamish about the idea just because he assumed it was painful and kind of not the done thing. We’d half talked about it, but he was being a bit slow to look into it. Then one night at the pub, he and his friends landed on the topic of depression and how much many of their wives had struggled with terrible moods while on hormonal contraception. In that conversation, FOUR OUT OF FIVE of his friends revealed they’d had vasectomies as a solution. These are just regular dudes… an IT guy, a teacher, a beer marketing manager, and a sales rep. They’d all had the snip after having their second child, and it had been pretty effortless and relatively painless, and took HUGE strain off their wives.

My DH did some more research and had his vasectomy a few months later. It was a huge relief to me, as I’d had depression while on the pill, and anemia, fainting, and persistent bleeding while on the copper coil.

Men need to talk about this more and end the stigma and squeamishness!

Show quote history

Similar here, group of four couples, one couple revealed they were expecting a surprise third baby, the two other men who already had children responded in amazement that he hadn't had a vasectomy. Both said it was trouble free and a brilliant move and urged him to get to the doctor asap.

Mangogogogo · 01/08/2022 17:47

SirenSays · 01/08/2022 17:34

£15?! Jesus thats expensive. How many do you get in a box? Can't be many, maybe 15/20?
Ive never been so appreciative of all the free ones I was given by the clinic as a teen.

Same! Little purple bag ahahah.

i wonder why they’re not free for everyone when other contraception is? They also cut NHS STD treatment costs too surely?

acuteanxiety · 01/08/2022 17:50

We use Durex they are great they don't kill the mood they make us a bit frustrated as we put them on at the end before my husband ejaculates