To think I’m out of contraceptive options

[MandyRice]

I was on microgynon my whole life and loved it but at 44 I’m too old now.

Tried a coil twice and expelled it both times (doctor thinks it might be the shape of my cervix).

Now on Cerazette (mini pill) but it’s giving me mood swings.

Is there something I’m missing? I’m starting to think I need to get off hormonal contraception as the only one which suited me is no longer safe. What else is there? Diaphragm? I can’t get my head round how this works unless you know in advance exactly when you’re going to have sex or else kill the mood by disappearing off to the bathroom for 10 minutes, and the whole idea of it makes me feel a bit grim.

Am I missing something? DH isn’t up for a vasectomy and that’s fine. Half tempted just to assume I’m too old to have a baby and bin the lot.

I'm a similar age. I don't want to go anywhere near hormonal contraception. Condoms work for me and have done so for years. I've even been called names for carrying a few in my handbag. And on occasion come to the rescue of a friend. A slight inconvenience perhaps, but clean, easy to use and no mood swings (not for that reason anyway!) and no adverse impact on the body.

I didn't get on with the implant, it gave me depression, weight gain, and constant bleeding. I tried to get on with it and gave it a year but I had to have it removed. After baby number 3 we will be returning to condoms and I'll also tie my tubes. No more kids!

Nobody seems to have mentioned OP could get sterilised? I know it's not as easy as a vasectomy, but it's not that hard. I certainly ever regretted it - the peace of mind was amazing! (I'm talking many years ago).

If you're sure you don't want any more children it's worth it, even just for those remaining fertile years. I was about 40 when I had it done.

The abortion stats for women over 50 would be more telling but I can only find them for over 40s as a group.

I understand OP.
I don't like hormonal contraceptives anymore and don't want a foreign object in my body.
We don't like to use condoms either. To be honest we are just risking it but we don't do it when ovulating and I'm 49 🤞

Has there ever been a verified case of a woman over 50 having a natural conception and birth?

My great-grandmother for one. She was 51 when she had my grandfather.

Getting an implant when hormonal bc hasn’t worked well for you seems insane. I know it’s steady state so that helps, but you won’t be able to stop instantly if it makes you sick.

condoms are easier than a diaphragm. If you are only concerned with pregnancy prevention, you can use some of the alternative kinds which are much more comfortable.

but really, your husband needs to stop being selfish and take his turn sorting out birth control.

Condoms for us too. It's not even the slightest bit of an inconvenience or mood killer. I was taking the pill until about 41. Some dr's said it was a risk, but the last Dr I saw said 'if it ain't broke don't fix it'. But I just thought one day, why is it still down to me. Putting hormones etc in my body? I haven't got kids, partner has. We won't be having any. P said he'd get a vasectomy. He hasn't yet. So condoms it is, and he's not particularly a big fan.

You can take combined pill until you are 50 if you are not overweight, don't smoke, normal BP.
Someone untread mentioned pregnancy over 50. I know someone who had a baby at 51, natural conception, healthy pregnancy and normal birth.
It was a shock to her as she tried for second child 20 years earlier and it didn't happen then.

Just try a mix of non hormonal contraceptives. You can flip between the diaphragm, condoms, and good old fashioned finishing in different ways (NOT the withdrawal method, but stopping quite a bit before your husband is ready and moving on to something else). Then you have options depending on mood and circumstance.

Yes. The statistics are quoted at a 1% chance at 50 or above. 5% at over 45.
however, statistics are dodgy in over 50s as most women would consider it to be bat shit crazy to embark on parenthood (first time or again) at that age. Most women would shudder at the thought of having a baby at that stage in their lives.
there is records on internet and a lot appear in catholic countries with women already with children. And a fair amount with multiple births as that also increases with age.
certainly I’d never taken a “chance” before my official menopause. Stakes way too high unless you consider abortion an easy decision and readily/quickly available.

The implant is great I had that before my last baby (had 3 in total)
I've gone a bit ott and got sterilised whilst having a c section as I do not want another surprise baby.

Another one that doesn't get why the husband doesn't step up and get the snip. The OP has done her bit, probably 25 or more years of contraception. For me it wouldn't be fine that he doesn't want to consider it, it's selfish and unreasonable.

@Cervinia - I agree to an extent. Women are expected to just keep pumping hormones inside of them until they are 50 plus or take all the risk of childbirth. Me and DH are still fairly young (early 30s) and even though it’s unlikely we want to have another child I wouldn’t expect DH to get a vasectomy at the moment because we are still undecided, but he knows that means condoms as I won’t take hormonal contraceptives and he is fine with that and I track my cycle to avoid sex when ovulating. Joint responsibility! He is open to a vasectomy once we are a bit older and have firmly decided on our family size.

My response would be that no vasectomy = no more nooky.

Plenty on here might disagree with me, but fortunately my DH wasn't one.

Totally understand your partner not up for a vastectomy, his body his choice etc. But in your shoes I would revisit this periodically with him, especially if you exhaust all the other alternatives. Why should you have to have a lifetime of bearing the burden of contraception? My DH eventually did this (funnily enough he suggested it after he could see intimacy was dwindling as I was reluctant to keep trying different contraceptives which didn’t suit, for similar reasons to you) and he was pleasantly surprised by it being an easy and fairly painless procedure.

Condoms have always seemed to me to be the best, simplest form of contraception.

Vasectomy shouldn’t be considered more of a big deal than you having to take hormones, but if he’s not up for it, he’s not.

It just means you’re left with condoms or no sex.

I agree with others suggesting vasectomy or condoms. Why should this be your problem to solve? Let him step up and take responsibility.

I had mood swings and weight gain with the pill and the rod. I've been on the Evra patch for two years and so far no side effects! Apart from the annoying stickiness when I remove it but that's been the only negative for me.

What about the injection, lasts 3 months. Downside it can take a longtime to conceive after and periods can take a year to settle but if that's not on your cards then good option for you

Another vote for diaphragm - much better than condoms, just get in habit of putting in every night, becomes as routine as brushing teeth at bedtime.

What about cycle tracking like natural cycles? You’ll have to use condoms at first but it’s working well for me, over a year since using it and not pregnant (and I’m 30 so arguably have a higher chance).

I’ve refused to go on the pill or use any other form of contraception other than condoms for 15 years. If he won’t have a vasectomy just use condoms non? And I loosely track my cycle and know when I’m ovulating so am careful (ie no penetrative sex) not a biggie surely?

I stopped all hormone contraception when I was early 40s. Felt so much better for it.

OH had a the snip. Care free sex is a absolute gift. Can you revisit why he is so against it? It's really quick and relatively low on the pain scale in terms of recovery.