Spider fear is ruining my life

[elm26]

Honestly, this time of year is horrific for me.

I've just gone to get into bed and there was one of those big house spiders on my duvet.

It's been removed but I can't stop thinking about it, I'm so paranoid there is another one and I can't even bare the thought of touching my bedding where it's been.

I sound so stupid, I realise this, it's completely irrational. For as long as I can remember, they have petrified me.

Has anyone had hypnotherapy or has any tips or tricks to help?

Or things that work that keep them from coming in the windows.

I'll be awake all night now.

I'll keep trying London zoo, but to the people who have done it - and then describing themselves touching them / holding a T (can't bring myself to write it) - oh my goodness, I simply cannot imagine myself even going into the room with them let alone holding them even in a box - how on earth did you bring yourselves to do this, did the course really make you not afraid?

I found the T actually less scary than the house spiders - chunkier, furry, a lot slower (i.e barely moved hehe) - it's practically a hamster with a few spare limbs right? 😅Not everyone held it on my day though, she was a bonus (Carol, she was called. Nothing called Carol can be that terrifying)

It was definitely still a bit 'eek, can't believe I'm doing this' nervy, but not 'sweat, tears, burn down the building' scary. It was funny, at no point during the day did I find myself feeling "Oh, I'm cured now" but you just suddenly find yourself doing it!

Same
they were very gradual with the exposure part, started off slowly and built up but holding the T was easy. Some people held the house ones which I absolutely wouldn't ever do though I did touch it with the tip of my finger!
like pp above I found the T more like a slow rodent than a spider and she wasn't scary at all, just a bit weird!

I used to be just like you OP, bizarrely I started watching a yourtuber online called Exotics Lair, who keep hundreds of tarantulas, after a few months I suddenly noticed that I wasn't scared of them anymore, I actually found them fascinating. I even started to be able to pick spiders up, until one bit me and it turns out I have a mild allergy to their bites. Even then I am no longer scared of them, wary of them being on me, but not scared.

Such a shame the London Zoo course is fully booked till 2023. Does anyone know how many people do each course at a time? I'm wondering if there are enough of us on here to persuade them to run an extra date..?!

I don't know how I'm going to get through September

They only run them in the spring and summer because you have to reinforce the learning to embed it. No point doing it in autumn when they have all gone hibernating.
there were quite a few people there, it's quite a big space!

Do they hibernate? I feel like they are around all winter! Bleugh hate talking about them!!

I'm so paranoid that I'll be driving and I'll crash because of it, I don't know what I'd do if one ran across my dash or even worse, me

My sister, years ago, had arachnophobia, and had the same worry that you do, she was very concerned that she'd crash if a spider appeared while driving. She couldn't go near a spider, used to get me to check her bed at night, would get the shakes and become hysterical if she saw even a fairly small spider.

She had a single session of hypnotherapy with our family GP, and was cured of the phobia. 30 years later, she still doesn't like spiders, and will spray windowsills with mint etc to keep them out, but she doesn't react the way she did - she can now deal with them, remove them from the house, and doesn't panic the way she did if she sees one. I'd definitely recommend hypnotherapy, it changed my sister's life.

Same here!!!
I was on holiday in a log cabin with my mum and kids a few years ago. I was about to have a shower, grabbed a towel from a shelf and felt something drop on my head. Put my hand up to feel it and it was the biggest spider I’ve ever known. I knocked it off and it ran away. I ran into the living room screaming and absolutely hysterical. I’m ashamed to say I made us all pack up and leave a day early. I couldn’t spend another moment in there not knowing where the spider was.

To be honest the cabin wasn’t nice and the kids were tired and ready to go home and we laugh about it now but it was honestly horrific. The spider was enormous. I felt as though my hair was dirty and just needed to get home to wash it.

This time of year fills me with anxiety, I can’t have the windows open at all. I’m thankful to have two cats who like to catch and eat them.

Three nights on the trot a big house spider came to torment me. The first night it was waiting outside the lounge door! It was a busy work week so I was up late doing work and it would "join" me. I have always been afraid of them but I managed to cover it with a glass bowl and continue my work. I left a post it note on it for my partner to deal with it the next morning.
I know exactly how you feel OP. I actually surprised myself with my reaction and you may surprise yourself too. That said I always regard September as Spider Season and stock up on conkers.
Good luck to us all ✌🏿

I did the London Zoo course too. It was brilliant. Everyone on it, fear of spiders was affecting their lives, but there was one woman in particular who cried and shook for the whole time she was there, and even she was "cured" by the end of the day.

@elm26 there is a really lovely "Australian Spider identification page on another social media platform. I often read comments from people who were previously terrified of spiders but can overcome some of their fears. I think what's great about this group is anyone can upload a photo of the spider they've found and they get both ID'd and admired. I've seen some truly amazing and beautifully colourful little spoods that you just can't help but appreciate plus awesome photography. They also dispel myths of which are harmful etc, it's very respectful.

I've done the friendly spider programme at London Zoo too.
The man who runs the programme used to be arachnophobic himself. 😮
I thought the hypnosis was a load of mumbo jumbo and honestly didnt believe it had made any difference at all, until I stepped into the spider enclosure.
It was like my phobia had switched off.
I held the tarantula and the house spiders, I wanted to.
No one was forced to touch anything they didnt want to or go anywhere they didnt want to.
Arriving home, I realised I felt able to walk around barefoot for the first time. I really wanted spiders to run out, so proud was I of not being afraid anymore.

5 years later and I'm mostly ok, however a giant house spider ran out from behind a rock I moved in the garden and for the first time in 5 years, my stomach turned over and I felt panicky.
It was rather a large spider, but it was the speed that took me by surprise.
I do hope my phobia isnt returning. Can anyone who has done the course reassure me?

I forgot to say that about 6 months after doing the course, a small spider abseiled down my fringe and I couldn't have felt calmer if I'd never had a phobia.
I was simply amused.

Someone has just put up another spider question. Thinking it was this one I went into it and there's a massive picture of a spider!

So avoid that one or close your eyes then start scrolling and then answer if you wish.

I'm shaking now 🤬😢

Be glad they are only house spiders. I am currently dealing with a false widow infestation. I capture and destroy several per day.... towels, bed, wall, carpet, ceilings...

@SushiShopSearch

I have this type on some windows, simple & inexpensive...

newblinds.co.uk/velcro-mesh-fly-screens-flystop-plus-150x180cm-velcro-mesh-window-fly-screen

There are similar products on Amazon...

eg, amzn.eu/d/d1ldT5o

For windows that are opened & closed alot, something like this might be better for longevity...

www.easy-flyscreens.co.uk/

Or magnetic, like this...

newblinds.co.uk/magnetic-fly-screen

Also from New Blinds I bought a kit to make a door type screen, attached with hinges, to fit to the outside frame of an upstairs tilt & turn style window that opens inwards...
newblinds.co.uk/framed-window-screens-framed-window-flyscreen-140x150cm-white-plus

Some other company websites I came across whilst looking for screens are...

www.streme.co.uk/shop/fly-screens/for-your-home

www.flyscreenqueen.co.uk/flyscreen-windows/

HTH

Obviously won't stop house spiders that are already inside the home but there are definitely some spiders that make their way in through open windows. Plus, it also stops flying insects coming in. Useful to keep moths out, if you want to keep the window open in the evening with lights on.

@JuneJuly Thank you SO much! I don't know why I didn't find any of these in previous searches. My husband ended up making flimsy screens a few years ago and using magnets but they are all gappy and really don't work (plus they took him hours and hours). Thank you again...going away to print off and investigate further.

@SushiShopSearch

No problem.

In that case, if you've had some that you've found to be a bit flimsy & not up to the job, I'd go for some of the more sturdy ones available.