Spider fear is ruining my life

[elm26]

Honestly, this time of year is horrific for me.

I've just gone to get into bed and there was one of those big house spiders on my duvet.

It's been removed but I can't stop thinking about it, I'm so paranoid there is another one and I can't even bare the thought of touching my bedding where it's been.

I sound so stupid, I realise this, it's completely irrational. For as long as I can remember, they have petrified me.

Has anyone had hypnotherapy or has any tips or tricks to help?

Or things that work that keep them from coming in the windows.

I'll be awake all night now.

@Lellochip I'm too scared to google in case photos come up!

I may get my DP to do some research on it for me, thank you!

@theniceunderstandingone thank you! I will look into the peppermint oil!

@Discovereads 90% of me loves this idea, then 10% can imagine me waking up to one sitting on the outside of it then I don't know how I'd get out 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm with you. I can only have the window open briefly even when it's so hot like now due to the risk.

However think yourself fortunate you've got a husband there to remove them for you!

I Live alone and it's down to me if they get in.

I’ve been on the Friendly Spider course too.

My heart still jumps when I first see one but they explain on the course that’s just adrenaline. Once that’s passed I feel ok with them.

I actually think they’re interesting little creatures now, I feel a bit sorry for them being so disliked.

Definitely the friendly spider course. It changed my life! I cannot recommend it highly enough. Save from now and book on next spring and this will be your last ever year of terror.

I can't say I like them now and they do make me jump a bit but I can calm myself immediately and remove them with a glass and card. It's a life changer.

House spiders don’t come from outside. They live in the house all the time and have never been outside otherwise they’d die.
Saw a programme by David Attenborough on it.

It sounds like this is really affecting your life. Various preventative measures mentioned above are just going to reinforce the fear. Google fear- avoidance cycle. As others have said, try to face it head on. If you can’t afford a course you can do this yourself using graded exposure /cbt techniques but it helps to have a trusted friend alongside you. Good luck!

I have this, and it does effect my life. I can't go in sheds, and I have wasted hours terrified to go near the kitchen sink or bathroom because there was a big spider. I had to call my mum once to come over and remove one. How embarrassing! She's not scared of them at all, but she has a phobia of snakes. Any snakes/slow worms around, I happily remove no problem. Luckily my youngest ds isn't scared of spiders at all, and will happily put them out for me. My partner is great too. I would love to be cured of this phobia, because it really does feel pointless and stupid. There's just something in my brain that really doesn't like them. Too many legs, too many eyes. Ugh

I used to be very bird phobic. I had 6 sessions of CBT for it and, while I'm still uncomfortable if birds come too close, it's infinitely more manageable.

I'd recommend it, OP.

I don't like them but wouldn't describe it as a phobia, but a good friend is absolutely terrified of them. It affects her life because she thinks about them all the time, won't go to places where they might be, such as the garage or garden shed, and jumps at things like a ball of fluff.

Last winter she did exposure therapy and it has changed her life. She said the course built up from looking at photos to having them on her but she genuinely seems unconcerned now. She told me she saw a big one in her room recently but couldn't be bothered getting out of bed to remove it, while I wouldn't have been able to sleep!

@ouch321 yes I live alone too with my two small kids. So once I’ve calmed down a bit I have to sort the spider out.
they are both scared too because of how I react when I see one

@blubberball many a time I have called my mum and brother to come over during the night to kill one. He’s moved away now with his girlfriend so I have to deal on my own lol

@CloseYourEyesAndSee - that’s how I want to be. If I see one don’t scream and ignore it if it’s small or gently remove it if it’s big. Not scream shake and feel faint spray it with Raid and then hoover it and then spend the rest of the day being jumpy. I will look at the course again and see if I can swing the money for it. Thanks again

They make me jump when one pops out unexpectedly, but then I can go get a cup or something to catch it under, then take outside without a problem. I did pick up a big house spider in my bare hands on the course itself, wouldn't particularly relish the thought of doing that to catch one but possibly could if necessary with some squealing!

I still don't like going into cobwebby-type places, don't like the idea of getting one on me without realising etc but think most people feel the same? I tend to leave the spindly cellar spiders alone these days, unless they're in my way. Chunky boys are immediately evicted, but small ones that are out of reach no longer leave me stressing about where they are, have they moved, what if they do move when I don't see?? etc.

I've bought one of those long spider catching things but I'm too scared to use it in case the spider falls out 😂. Also not sure I would manage to get the spider back out if it didn't fall out.

They're everywhere 😭

I've checked and the London Zoo page definitely has NO pictures, and talks you through what the course involves, though I'm happy to answer any questions.

https://www.zsl.org/experiences/friendly-spider-programme

There are others that do similar, London is just the one I went to, think Edingburgh, Bristol etc do them (can go check their pages for you if you need me to!)

They did say on the day, that people being afraid to do the course because the idea of NOT being scared of spiders was scary in itself, was super common. The first half of the course is all off site so you don't even see any spiders or photos until you walk across to the zoo itself, and if you truly don't feel ready to do that, you aren't forced.

That said, we all (there was bout 40 of us) went on my day, all of us saying we definitely felt no different, the hypnosis obviously hasn't worked, how were we going to cope and then.... Oh. We could cope. Was as simple as that. Think the support from being in a group of people who understand helps massively, rather than the therapy being magic.

Can you desensitise yourself to spiders gradually. Work out what your comfortable with and go from there. So if you can't even look at a picture of a spider, buy a book on spiders and gradually expose yourself to looking at the pictures until it no longer bothers you. Then with the help of a friend (one who isn't scared of spiders!) they could capture a small spider and you could look at that until you feel comfortable and gradually work up to being able to be in a room with a large spider, capturing it and putting it outside.

I don't like spiders but if there is a large one in the house I can capture it and put it outside and then forget about it.

I forgot to mention these - lifechanger!
I bought one from Lakeland (now discontinued but found one on amazon) for my youngest son. :-)
www.amazon.co.uk/Spider-Catcher-Suction-Dispose-Outdoors/dp/B07SW71VTJ/ref=asc_df_B07SW71VTJ/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=435803060097&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11171148236676142359&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046358&hvtargid=pla-922474706827&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=102111104635&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=435803060097&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11171148236676142359&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046358&hvtargid=pla-922474706827

Please tell me about your screens

Please tell me about your fly screens too.

I'm the same. A photo of a spider sets my heart racing. DH went away for a week in June and a spider appeared in the landing on the first night. I was in bed and threw everything I could find at it (but missed). Eventually one of my cats arrived and killed it but it took her ages. I ended up awake until 5am because I was so paranoid it had a friend somewhere.

Can the window screens really work though? I thought house spiders lived inside all of their lives. I suppose they must stop outdoor species from coming in. I think some therapy is the most effective course of action, from seeing how transformative it was for my friend.

@Lellochip - thanks so much. I've just looked and with concessions it's only £105. When I looked a few years ago it was £185

So even though £105 is still a stretch I will book myself onto it. I need this sorted

I hate this time of year for them, I'm on edge until about October!

I survive spider season by:

• keeping the floor as clear as possible ie. no piles of things they can hide in/behind


• moving beds/sofas a little away from the walls


• making sure blankets aren't hanging off the bed onto the floor


• wearing shoes at all times at home

Since they're more active because they're on the hunt for mates, I squish them if I see them. I wouldn't be able to get close enough to pick them up to take outside; I feel horrible about it but I do not need them increasing the spider population!

The first year I lived here I counted 31 biguns, a few years later we're down to about 8 per spider season which is still horrific but an improvement. Don't know if it's down to the squishing or climate or something else, but it's better!

Every Aug/Sept I literally want to pack. my bags and move out of country. I recently had an encounter with a massive specimen who survived 2h in the same room with both cats and several attempts to flush him. I WFH and ended up calling DH screaming hysterically as he kept coming back and trying to climb out of the toilet. He was finally gone when I threw toilet paper on top of him and then showered him with boiling hot water.

I am still to use that bathroom.

My issue is that I am not aware of any things I can do that would not be poisonous or otherwise an issue for our pets (1 dog, 2 cats). If anyone knows - I'd be grateful more than words can tell!!!

OP I just came on to say I am EXACTLY the same and feel 100% solidarity. I'm worse than ever since moving to an older property and am seriously wishing I could move back to our old high rise flat! It's crazy but I'm terrified. Our garden is full of them no I'm bracing myself for them inside the house. I have a toddler and am on my own all day with him trying to be brave! I too am too scared to Google or buy sprays that have horrid pictures on the front.

Experiences of seeing them scar you for years don't they - like every time you walk past that place you can't help glancing at the floor or whatever. It's a constant state of hyper vigilance and can't be good for us.

That's why I'm seriously considering doing the London zoo course. I've read so many good things on here about it. The thought of going and sitting in front of a slide show of pictures terrifies me but it sounds like the organisers are well aware of how serious phobias can be. I'm literally itching all over reading this thread!!