Abuse????

[Wallflower22]

My partner of 5yrs this morning has thrown a pot of yoghurt at me which exploded all over me and the floor then opened a bag of salad and tipped it over my head all infront of my 4yr old because i said i didn't like natural yoghurt. What would you all make of that and what would you do? Based on this info alone without a back story

I bet there's lots more. And yes, it's abuse. Get your partner out and failing that, get yourself and your DS out.

Thank you everyone for your advice. Back story my partner (male) has been mentally abusing me for years. It started with put downs and name calling, gaslighting and on some recordings i have of how he speaks to me some people have said sexual. The house is fully in his name and i don't have anywhere else to go if i was to leave which is why i've just been putting up with him and hoping things would get better (i know they never do) he is also the main earner in our house. I did work part time until the beginning of this year when i was signed off work so he now pays for everything when a mass was found which i had a major operation to remove and told it was cancerous. Before the op he told me i wouldn't see my son again and not to call him while i was in hospital. When i came home after the op a week later he expected me to get back to normal and refused time off work to help me even though i was pretty much bed bound and couldn't do anything for 8wks. My son thought this mornings incident was funny (i hate he thinks this is normal) my mental health isn't great now because of my health but for him to carry on abusing me after what i've been through its taking a major dive. He apparently thinks i've been sat on my arse for 4 months while he's been working providing for us all and he's not providing for me any longer

Male or female partner did it, they should have to leave. It's ridiculous behaviour and unless they are having an extreme break down and go and get help, I'd not be seeing them again, and would have significant concerns about contact with dc.

Definitely abuse but the fact that he did that over nothing too.. what strange behaviour..

I would be leaving

It's abuse. I'd leave. How long I'd leave for would depend on the context.

Have you any family or friends who would put you up even for a little while? That your son laughed is appalling and shows he's learning abuse is normal and funny, please get out.

Please please get in touch with Womens Aid op

Abusive behaviour. I have been with my husband for 18 years, he's never done anything like that to me. You deserve better. Don't let your child grow up, believing your partners behaviour is normal. Because your child will copy it, and use it towards you and future partners. You cannot allow it to continue.

Of course & the fact that he felt no hesitation at doing it in front of his young child, is very worrying.
This is how domestic abuse starts. He's given you a warning, please heed it x

I want to leave him so bad. Its so hard and i'm embarrassed to admit to my family whats been going on

I work for a domestic violence charity. Please, please call the National Domestic Violence Helpline today on 0808 2000 247. They will be able to help you get away from this abuser to a place of safety. It won't necessarily be easy, but you will be entitled to benefits so you will be able to support yourself and your child.

Pack a bag for yourself and your child and include things like passports, marriage and birth certificates. Make sure he doesn't see the bag - do it while he's out of the house (maybe when he's at work tomorrow?). If you can afford to do so, go to a hotel with your son while a refuge space is found for you. There is support out there for you.

Acknowledging that what you are experiencing is abuse is so hard; leaving is even harder, and can be very dangerous, so please make sure he doesn't know what you're planning on doing until you've left. Turn off location services on your phone and block his number. Don't go on social media until you're safe.

DM me if you have any questions. Best of luck - you've got this and life can and will get better once you're away from this horrible man.

Please don't be embarrassed. Your family may have their suspicious, but even if they don't, they will only want what's best for you and your son. This is not your fault - domestic abuse is about control and power by the abuser not because you have done something wrong.

Abuse.. in my experience it started with this type of abuse amd escalated

He sounds like a real bully

This is not acceptable.

Please please please call domestic violence hotline or woman's aid. Please get help. Please leave him!!

Absolutely abuse. My dick of an ex did stuff like that.

Please don’t be embarrassed to speak to your family, I imagine they would hate the idea of you going through this alone. Echoing all of the above, stay with a friend or family member until woman's aid can get you back in your feet.

My ex used to do horrible humiliating things like this to me. It culminated in him holding a pillow over my face and trying to kill me. I left after that, after realising what a close call I'd had. Please don't let it get this far.

Yes this is abuse and I think it's quite serious.

A colleague I used to work with in my 20s, who was in an abusive relationship, said all it took was for an incident to happen three times and her confidence dropped so much she couldn't leave.

That's why they do it.

Your child may disclose to someone what is going on.

Get your 4 year old out of that situation ASAP.

Why do you stay with this piece of shit??? You have your dd to take care of.
You are going to ruin her mental health and scar her for life.

Don’t be embarrassed. If anyone should be embarrassed, it’s your partner. Tell your family, I’m sure they will support you and maybe even put a roof over both of your heads until you can find somewhere else to live. You’ve already taken a huge step realising you need to leave. You got this.

I would tell him to leave, and if he wouldn't, then I would. It has already escalated from name calling and belittling. He is going to start hitting you next.