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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help me with my fitness please

151 replies

Merryoldgoat · 30/07/2022 11:24

I’m very overweight and on the bariatric pathway. I don’t want the surgery so I need to turn it around but I’m overwhelmed by the mountain I need to climb.

I am making progress with weight loss albeit slow but I really need to exercise more for health - I know weight loss is mostly about diet.

Have you transformed your body over 45?

I have a knee injury which makes things harder but surely I can do it.

Feeling very low today.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 30/07/2022 13:57

Weights are fab too.

Perhaps get personal trainer to come to your home if you can face a gym. Or even get some dumbbells and watch you tube videos. You can be any size to do weights.

waterlego · 30/07/2022 14:01

Good for you for deciding to make some changes.

Agree with PPs that walking and swimming are a great place to start. I would also suggest weight training, for which you could buy a couple of kettlebells or dumbbell sets and use them at home (plenty of videos on YouTube). Simply put: muscle uses more calories than fat, so when you increase your muscle mass, you burn calories more quickly. Many women also enjoy the changes they notice to their body shape when they weight train. Becoming stronger with a more athletic shape is very empowering. Good luck with it all.

Kitkatfiend31 · 30/07/2022 14:04

Try looking at Jessica Smith videos on YouTube. Start with the walk and talk then some of the 15/20min ones. I used her dvds which really helped me. Couldnt do 15 mins without a rest to start with but got up to 30/40 min ones. They do vary in intensity so look for beginner ones.

faffadoodledo · 30/07/2022 14:05

If you're doing next to nothing then walking will absolutely help you shed weight. Bad knees? Improve your glutes. Hip raises (while squeezing your buttocks on the way up) will be a good low impact start to building glute strength.
I'm not overweight but every time I get a knee niggle I remember to work on strength further up the legs.

Augend23 · 30/07/2022 14:12

It totally depends how much you do to start with, whether walking will make you fitter.

If you already run marathons it's probably not going to make you fitter.

But if you have a sedentary job, drive everywhere and don't do regular exercise it will absolutely make you fitter.

The key key thing for me is my mantra "the best exercise is exercise you actually do". So for me that means walking (with a podcast, or music, or an audiobook), cycling, swimming and yoga. I mix and match and just do what I feel like that day. It means not pushing myself so hard I hate it and don't want to do it again.

"Active transport" is one of my favourite ways of exercising - by walking or cycling instead of driving it massive ups the exercise you fit into your life automatically and you don't even havr to think about it. I actually bought an electric bike recently specifically for this purpose - the cycling uses less effort per mile but I'm totally prepared to regularly cycle an 11 mile round trip, and enjoy going out for 30-40 miles of a weekend. Obviously that would be an expensive purchase but it's really just highlighting that things that mean you move more are beneficial!

BogRollBOGOF · 30/07/2022 14:13

I had tough pregnancies and births and started getting back to fitness by walking to the end of the road and back... it's about 100m! I added a little bit more each time. It wasn't long before I could walk a couple of miles. After about 5 months I was ready for mainstream fitness classes. Make sure you keep the pace to a level where you are out of breath; that's where the gains are. Too many people plod gently and don't really gain fitness.

There's loads on youtube. Start with 10 minutes. Get Fit With Rick walking workouts are great, and Mr Motivator has lots of 12 minute work outs. Better to regularly do short, achievable workouts than flog yourself on an hour of burpees and push-ups (and whatever my level of fitness, that ain't happening in my lounge anyway!)

Swimming and aqua aerobics are great low-impact, full body exercise. You're in the water and because it's such an accessible form of exercise, all body shapes and sizes can be found at the swimming pool.

Allelbowsandtoes · 30/07/2022 14:24

Hankunamatata · 30/07/2022 13:55

Find what you love.
Walking is great exercise but I hate walking/running. I like cycling to happily do that daily on phone or my bike. I also like exercise videos. I love swimming.

I would aim to move as first target 5 mins a day or less. Make it routine so pick time every day.

Address your food issues - binge eating/comfort eating/portion size/wrong foods

Agree, if you find an exercise you enjoy you're so much more likely to stick with it.
I cycle and incidentally its easier on my knees than walking, so it might be good for you?
PPs have added some good online workouts but I'd also recommend "the body project", their videos are on YouTube, they have low impact cardio videos designed for people who are getting into fitness or are overweight :)
Also, the great thing about exercise is that it makes you feel good about yourself before you've even started losing the weight!
Good luck OP 💪you can do this x

faffadoodledo · 30/07/2022 14:25

Completely agree @BogRollBOGOF
You need to walk at a brisk enough pace that it's not easy to chat. If you have the breath to chat you should probably be working a bit harder. And obviously that's different for everyone. Adding hills helps too.

urrrgh46 · 30/07/2022 14:46

@Allelbowsandtoes was just coming on to recommend the body project! Also Leslie Sansone and Jessica Smith. Totally agree with people saying start small and be consistent! It takes time to build a habit. You don't need to take a rest day if you're doing low impact walking/cardio. So 15-30 minutes everyday to build that habit is great. Once you have a habit you can get into more resistance exercises and linger sessions - then you do need to build in a rest day.

Merryoldgoat · 30/07/2022 17:40

Sorry fir going MIA - I’ve been out. Just going to read all of the replies. Thank you all for taking the time 💐

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 30/07/2022 17:45

@Thewolvesarerunningagain

Thank you for this. I have an eating plan that is an attempt to assist with weight loss but also to change habits long term from my cardiologist which will hopefully help with that.

I agree about the clothes and house and both of those things could be improved for sure.

Thank You.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 30/07/2022 17:50

Summerholidays204949393 · 30/07/2022 12:05

saxenda?

This is a possibility that is to be discussed at an appointment in October.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 30/07/2022 17:51

notanothertakeaway · 30/07/2022 12:22

Myfitnesspal app is very helpful. You log all your food and exercise

I find MFP hugely unhelpful.

Anywhere I have to log food makes me obsessed and I literally think of nothing else.

I clearly have an eating disorder I need to address but I’m not ready.

OP posts:
Justcallmebebes · 30/07/2022 17:53

Low impact yoga, Pilates and swimming. Swimming is brilliant all over body exercise and low impact on joints

mynameiscalypso · 30/07/2022 17:57

I am just getting back into exercise after a period of shit health but I used to find weight training (just at home with some dumbbells and YouTube) one of the few ways of exercising that didn't trigger old eating disorder thoughts and it gave me a new appreciation for me body and the need to fuel it correctly.

mynameiscalypso · 30/07/2022 17:58

Oh and I also have dodgy joints and a very dodgy knee but I just did what I could.

waterlego · 30/07/2022 18:24

I used to find weight training (just at home with some dumbbells and YouTube) one of the few ways of exercising that didn't trigger old eating disorder thoughts and it gave me a new appreciation for me body and the need to fuel it correctly.

Strongly agree with this! I have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder but have certainly had ‘disordered eating’ at times. I became obsessed with MFP for a while and spent a lot of my time painstakingly weighing everything, logging calories and restricting (even though I wasn’t actually overweight to begin with). I got quite skinny and didn’t look very healthy. It was a sad way to live. I didn’t ever want to go to cafes or restaurants because I couldn’t know exactly what all the ingredients were in the food and therefore couldn’t log it accurately in my calorie count, which meant I just felt really anxious.

Starting weight training changed that. My actual weight became less and less important. I stopped weighing and logging all my food and I stopped weighing myself. Weight training can be so beneficial to self esteem. I know a lot of women who’ve found a love for it and more importantly- for themselves once they see their body shape change!

Add in the fact that weight training improves bone density which is of course very important for women, increasingly so as we age.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 30/07/2022 18:34

Well, I'm currently down 40kg aged 49.

Exercise is far more useful than it's generally given credit for - it increases your muscle mass, means you use more calories just to exist and enables you to still eat well. It also makes you feel better - any emotions that could send you to eat can be deflected into digging in that little bit extra, giving you a release, relaxation, the feeling of satisfaction, better sleep so feeling less tired and off colour, etc.

The key for me was combining exercise (mixture of gym/weights, rowing and plodding around the park, mostly) with something that sounds like a fad - I got diagnosed with Celiac. So going gluten free.

Now, cutting out wheat, barley, gluten and oats sounds stupid and it was purely on the basis of medical advice for me, but what it actually represents is eliminating the vast majority of prepacked, highly processed, high carbohydrate, high fat and low protein/nutrition foods.

Because you can't think 'sod it, I can't be arsed' and get a cheese half pounder with mayonnaise, fries, onion rings, 2l bottle of Fanta and a box of Cornettos because the diet's screwed tonight, I'll start again tomorrow - or pick up the appealingly packaged stuff in the supermarket - you've got to plan what you're going to eat, so you have a chance to make choices rather than impulse buys. And it's your choices that makes for a longterm habit change, not 'I must not eat/have to go without because I'm fat and my body is now permanently fated to put as much weight on as possible'.

The sort of things we have include -

  1. chicken thighs, roast veg in olive oil and rice,
  2. slow cooker chilli with black and kidney beans, extra veg on sweet potatoes,
  3. Chilli salmon with rice, edamame beans, rice, tomatoes, cucumber and grapes for dessert,
  4. GF pasta with a mini pot of cream cheese, petits pois and smoked bacon bits,
  5. egg & bacon on avocado GF toast,
  6. homemade blue cheese burgers with mushrooms, all the usual salad items in a burger (no bun) and homemade wedges,
  7. Chickpea, spinach and sweet potato curry
  8. sausage, egg and wedges,
  9. steak, salad and potatoes,
  10. pork casserole with tomatoes, aubergine, peppers, courgette, chilli, garlic, onion, capers and olives,
  11. Roast chicken with 4 types of steamed veg and herby roast potatoes
  12. whatever meat is on offer with salad and rice or potatoes
- so not exactly half a lettuce leaf and a sniff of a dairylea triangle once a day.

I can't do breakfast, so I have a good lunch (usually fish, rice, salad, but can be pecorino, apple and GF bread with garlic oil or a GF cheese and salami sandwich) and an emergency 'I must eat' can be things like yoghurt, dates and pistachios or a mini brie, hard boiled egg, tin of mackerel and olives; stuff that's nutritious but most importantly, that I really like.

What I would suggest as you've got knee pain, is check your gait (at a running shop - does your leg turn in or your ankle drop inwards as you walk, for example?) and get a good pair of running shoes with some orthotics. That'll ease some of the pressure on your joints, meaning you'll be able to move more, be less tired from the effort, less likely to collapse on the sofa and will enable you to do things to strengthen your leg, back and core muscles.

Walking can be good, but if it causes you pain, going to a very cheap gym and learning to use the rower and weights machines also provides very useful exercise and strengthening - then you can step up the weightbearing exercise when you are stronger and more able to handle your own weight. Swimming is also good, as long as you plan for being starving when you come out and have a good snack in your bag to keep you away from the chocolate and Red Bull or the chip shop.

In short, though, yes, it can be done. Without subscribing to fancy branded plans, without making particular writers a fuckton of money, without thinking you've been promised the easy solution and answer to all your problems by some God like being.

If you are also found to be a suitable candidate for Ozempic/etc, that may help you, but it's not a foregone conclusion you need that, surgery or anything else; you can change if you are ready to.

BlooberryBiskits · 30/07/2022 21:41

Some great advice on this thread already OP

Walking definitely does help weight loss: I lost 20 pounds when I started walking to/from work (about 30 min each way) which surprised everyone including me (I did have weight to lose, bmi probably around 30 at the time)

If your knees are an issue there are plenty of low impact options


  • walking (maybe up an incline on a treadmill if you join a gym at some point)

  • swimming

  • elliptical trainer

  • rower

  • YouTube videos - for real beginners there are several you tube beginner ‘walking’ workouts - Leslie Sansome is a bit old fashioned but v accessible, I also like Gina B’s beginner workouts


On the diet front, focusing on eating lots of protein, veg and unprocessed foods helps (as well as hydrating with water) : this definitely helps you feel better/more energetic which becomes a positive loop

Surgery obviously helps some people, but creates other problems/won’t address the issue of your head isn’t on the right place

My other tip is to listen to health focused podcasts (like Dr Chatterjee) or nutrition /weight loss podcasts when you are on your walks which helps me with motivation/focus

SquirrelSoShiny · 30/07/2022 21:48

Brilliant thread OP - I need this too!

Merryoldgoat · 30/07/2022 22:00

Surgery obviously helps some people, but creates other problems/won’t address the issue of your head isn’t on the right place

This is absolutely the issue for me. I’m fairly sure I’ll end up really damaging myself but the consultant said I can stay on the pathway and have the psych assistance and see what happens. At the end of the day they can’t FORCE me to have surgery.

I’ve planned my menu for the week which is processed food free and low in carbs but lots of vegetables and protein and I have sensible things to snack on like eggs, nuts, vegetables and some hummus etc.

I’m going to just try to eat 3 meals and eliminate the shit for now rather than worry about weight loss massively - once I’m in the habit I’ll see.

The knee issue which I didn’t really go into is that I have torn the meniscus and I’m broadly speaking living in constant pain which has had a terrible impact on my mental health.

However the last few weeks it has improved so I need to start making some progress.

I have a load of stuff to do in the house and I’m just going to do 30 mins a day whilst listening to a podcast.

Just to top it off I have two kids with SEN so it’s hard to carve out the time.

However I have to as I’m 44 and really want to get to a lovely old age in good health.

Time for some changes but and it’s a long road. Fingers crossed I can have a good start this week.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 30/07/2022 22:05

@SquirrelSoShiny

it’s so hard isn’t it?

I feel so lost with it all. I’m just at the end of my tether but getting fatter and less fit every month.

OP posts:
JustForThis67789 · 30/07/2022 22:06

I was the same and I felt I had tried everything - I was around 40 years old so a bit younger but I kept trying "serious" exercise classes and dropping off after a week, it just didn't work. I joined my local council gym and started going to all the easy dance classes... they had things like ballroom, sosa, line dancing. The classes that were clearly designed for older members and I was sometimes the youngest person in the room by a good margin and by far the biggest! But I loved it, really welcoming bunch of people and the weight loss came off gradually. I read once you start exercising you start making better choices, and although it wasn't natural, I had to put effort in (weight loss classes etc) it definitely worked like this for me. I built up to more intense classes i.e. zumba, clubbercise, dancefit and then over the course of a couple of years added spin, boxfit, body attack etc.... Then lockdown happened and I just walked everywhere.... walking really does a lot you know, I'm building up my classes again, the gym has taken it's time getting back to pre-covid offerings, I'm still not where I need to be but I'm just trying to enjoy it all as much as possible. Good luck, you sound like you're in a good place to make changes.

Dewsberry · 30/07/2022 22:21

Find a timeslot when exercise can be your priority. At this time of year the evening is perfect, maybe after dinner. As the nights draw in I'll switch to lunchtime or 9am. (Early mornings are beyond me!)

Some people are motivated by challenging goals, but for me small ones are better. I tell myself I only need to do 15mins, and then I extend it if I'm feeling good. Get yourself a fitbit or similar and set yourself a challenge. I like the Active Minutes tracker on my Garmin because I get the points by getting my heart rate up, irrespective of how much ground I cover. But you can also do daily step count, or total distance in August sort of thing. Listen to your body. If daily isn't working for you, try doing it properly every other day and doing a token amount on your "rest" days so you are still building the habit.

I love a cheesy motivational quote too. Every day you get out there you're lapping the old you sat on the sofa. Done is better than perfect. Getting your trainers on and getting out of the door is the hardest bit. The best advice on running I was ever given is that the first 10 mins are usually shit and then it gets a lot easier. Know that it's ok to struggle, it's normal and it doesn't mean you have to quit. Even people who can run many miles can struggle with the first few mins every time.

Merryoldgoat · 30/07/2022 22:33

Thank you @JustForThis67789 and @Dewsberry

Running is a definite no-no - my knee absolutely cannot cope but I used to dance a lot and it’s the only form of exercise I’ve ever truly enjoyed.

Once my fitness it better I’ll see if I can cope again with some beginner classes. DH is doing yoga and I tried but I just didn’t like it.

OP posts:
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