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AIBU?

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Original poster

Stolen chocolate

166 replies

henryhoover3 · 29/07/2022 20:58

Could people give me their thoughts on this please. I bought myself a large family sized bar of chocolate yesterday. My son and partner came round today. His partner went into the kitchen to make a call came back in the they both said bye and left. I went to get chocolate later on and it had gone with the wrapper in the bin. My sons partner must have eat it said nothing then left.
Aibu being annoyed x

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman2 · 30/07/2022 13:52

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 13:37

This all sounds like a massive overreaction over a bar of chocolate. If you’re going to get upset over a bar of chocolate, no wonder you guys aren’t friendly.

Oh FFS. You can be ‘friendly’ with someone without expecting them to rifle through your fridge.

AncoraAmarena · 30/07/2022 13:53

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 13:37

This all sounds like a massive overreaction over a bar of chocolate. If you’re going to get upset over a bar of chocolate, no wonder you guys aren’t friendly.

Don't be ridiculous. If a visitor went unprompted into your fridge and polished off a family sized bar of chocolate and then left without saying anything, you'd be ok with that? Like shit you would. The OP has done nothing wrong in texting her son to ask about it and now it's sorted.

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 13:55

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 30/07/2022 13:52

Oh FFS. You can be ‘friendly’ with someone without expecting them to rifle through your fridge.

Show quote history

It massively depends on the context though. A new girlfriend, then yeah, it’s rude. Son’s partner who he’s been with for a fair while, then why is she still treated as a guest.

SleepingAgent · 30/07/2022 13:56

Testina · 30/07/2022 12:07

I would message your son. “Your girlfriend took and ate an entire 400g bar of chocolate from my fridge without asking - does she have an eating disorder, hence the compulsion and secrecy?”

Yes all these timid messages saying did you take/oh I must have misplaced it etc bollocks to that. OP lives alone, only the GF was in the kitchen so there is no doubt who had it.

I prefer the "your GF owes me a choc bar and needs to ASK before helping herself". Actually I would message her directly myself rather than using the DS as messenger but OP seems to say this isn't appropriate. I wouldn't trust the son to pass on the message though - not if he's like a lot of men and will avoid anything for a quiet life.

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 13:57

AncoraAmarena · 30/07/2022 13:53

Don't be ridiculous. If a visitor went unprompted into your fridge and polished off a family sized bar of chocolate and then left without saying anything, you'd be ok with that? Like shit you would. The OP has done nothing wrong in texting her son to ask about it and now it's sorted.

Show quote history

Not being ridiculous. Visitor is very different to a good friend or son’s girlfriend. I don’t have adult children but if my brother’s girlfriend helped herself, I would be glad that she feels comfortable enough around me and my home.

CounsellorTroi · 30/07/2022 13:58

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 13:55

It massively depends on the context though. A new girlfriend, then yeah, it’s rude. Son’s partner who he’s been with for a fair while, then why is she still treated as a guest.

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Even after years of marriage to my DH I’d never have eaten a bar of chocolate from my MIL’s fridge.

SleepingAgent · 30/07/2022 13:58

henryhoover3 · 30/07/2022 12:43

Sorted I texted my son and his partner has just called round with the biggest bar of chocolate I have ever seen full of apologies and embarrassed x

Ah good update! Well done OP

TheLoftHatch · 30/07/2022 14:00

henryhoover3 · 30/07/2022 12:43

Sorted I texted my son and his partner has just called round with the biggest bar of chocolate I have ever seen full of apologies and embarrassed x

Ahhh! That's lovely!

SleepingAgent · 30/07/2022 14:00

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 13:37

This all sounds like a massive overreaction over a bar of chocolate. If you’re going to get upset over a bar of chocolate, no wonder you guys aren’t friendly.

So you'd be ok if a friend of yours just helped themselves to the content of your fridge/treat box? Send me your address, I could do with topping up our cupboards.

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 14:02

SleepingAgent · 30/07/2022 14:00

So you'd be ok if a friend of yours just helped themselves to the content of your fridge/treat box? Send me your address, I could do with topping up our cupboards.

Show quote history

Yes, I really would. If a friend pops round she’s more than welcome to help herself to fold in the fridge.

I didn’t realise we were friends…?

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 14:08

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 14:02

Yes, I really would. If a friend pops round she’s more than welcome to help herself to fold in the fridge.

I didn’t realise we were friends…?

Show quote history

fold? Maybe I mean food!

WisherWood · 30/07/2022 14:14

Yes, I really would. If a friend pops round she’s more than welcome to help herself to fold in the fridge.

I suppose if nothing else, this thread is helping me understand why so many university house shares are such a nightmare. To some people opening the fridge and taking whatever you fancy, whether or not it's yours, is absolutely fine, to other people it's an absolute baseline of common courtesy to ask.

It's weird. Is there any other stuff of your friends' you just randomly take because you fancy it?

CounsellorTroi · 30/07/2022 14:16

WisherWood · 30/07/2022 14:14

Yes, I really would. If a friend pops round she’s more than welcome to help herself to fold in the fridge.

I suppose if nothing else, this thread is helping me understand why so many university house shares are such a nightmare. To some people opening the fridge and taking whatever you fancy, whether or not it's yours, is absolutely fine, to other people it's an absolute baseline of common courtesy to ask.

It's weird. Is there any other stuff of your friends' you just randomly take because you fancy it?

And why so much food gets taken from office fridges.

AncoraAmarena · 30/07/2022 14:17

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 13:57

Not being ridiculous. Visitor is very different to a good friend or son’s girlfriend. I don’t have adult children but if my brother’s girlfriend helped herself, I would be glad that she feels comfortable enough around me and my home.

Show quote history

It's rude, in any circumstance, to help yourself to something that isn't yours and then not mention a word about it to the person that it belonged to.

I wouldn't do that in my mum and dad's fridge; I wouldn't do it at home with my OH and teens and it seems most people here are the same. There is no excuse for doing it and keeping quiet about it.

Marvellousmadness · 30/07/2022 14:18

Omg. The things you worry about.....
I would worry about a girl being able to wolf down so much chocolate in 15 minutes instead

You sound... uh.. like you need a hobby/life.

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 14:18

WisherWood · 30/07/2022 14:14

Yes, I really would. If a friend pops round she’s more than welcome to help herself to fold in the fridge.

I suppose if nothing else, this thread is helping me understand why so many university house shares are such a nightmare. To some people opening the fridge and taking whatever you fancy, whether or not it's yours, is absolutely fine, to other people it's an absolute baseline of common courtesy to ask.

It's weird. Is there any other stuff of your friends' you just randomly take because you fancy it?

Oh don’t be so silly.

As I noted above it depends on the context and your relationship with the person.

AncoraAmarena · 30/07/2022 14:19

Marvellousmadness · 30/07/2022 14:18

Omg. The things you worry about.....
I would worry about a girl being able to wolf down so much chocolate in 15 minutes instead

You sound... uh.. like you need a hobby/life.

Yup, and you're rude too.

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 14:22

CounsellorTroi · 30/07/2022 14:16

And why so much food gets taken from office fridges.

Show quote history

Yes, that’s right - me having the sort of relationship with family and close friends where we make sure we’re comfortable in each other’s homes is the same as taking food from an office fridge. That’s exactly what that is. Flowers

ChinnyTroubles · 30/07/2022 14:23

I should think so too - what a cheeky thing to go snaffling for things in your fridge and then EATING them!!!

though YABVU to keep chocolate in the fridge and I am struggling to let that go

girlfriend44 · 30/07/2022 14:23

blimey what an absolute pig to eat a whole family bar, do they have eating issues, that sure isnt normal.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 30/07/2022 14:34

Glitteratitar · 30/07/2022 13:55

It massively depends on the context though. A new girlfriend, then yeah, it’s rude. Son’s partner who he’s been with for a fair while, then why is she still treated as a guest.

Show quote history

Context goes both ways. A couple of biscuits from an open packet? Not a problem. An entire family size bar of chocolate? Who thinks it’s okay to help yourself to that?

Kabalagala · 30/07/2022 14:48

It's a chocolate bar. I really don't understand the fuss. I hope my future daughters in law feel that comfortable in my house. Perhaps it was a stressful phone call and it was absent minded stress eating

ChinnyTroubles · 30/07/2022 14:55

Kabalagala · 30/07/2022 14:48

It's a chocolate bar. I really don't understand the fuss. I hope my future daughters in law feel that comfortable in my house. Perhaps it was a stressful phone call and it was absent minded stress eating

So what's the line? A chocolate bar is ok to you - what about a whole chicken, just take if you see it in the fridge for tomorrow's dinner? Is that ok? Oooh I am stressed and there is a necklace on the side, that'll cheer me up!

No. The principle is what this thread is talking about. Taking something that you have not had permission for (chocolate/chicken/jewellery/whatever) in my book has always been called "stealing", not "stress relief"

girlfriend44 · 30/07/2022 15:36

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 30/07/2022 14:34

Context goes both ways. A couple of biscuits from an open packet? Not a problem. An entire family size bar of chocolate? Who thinks it’s okay to help yourself to that?

Show quote history

yes not to mention the greed.

Herejustforthisone · 30/07/2022 16:12

@Glitteratitar you have really weird boundaries.

If my husband nailed an entire bar of chocolate I’d bought for myself, I’d be raging. It’s an insane lack of self control. Plus it’s bloody rude.