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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stolen chocolate

166 replies

henryhoover3 · 29/07/2022 20:58

Could people give me their thoughts on this please. I bought myself a large family sized bar of chocolate yesterday. My son and partner came round today. His partner went into the kitchen to make a call came back in the they both said bye and left. I went to get chocolate later on and it had gone with the wrapper in the bin. My sons partner must have eat it said nothing then left.
Aibu being annoyed x

OP posts:
1099 · 30/07/2022 08:19

She is relying on the fact that you don't want to offend her, she knows you won't say anything.
Tell DS the facts, you had a bar of chocolate in fridge it has now gone and the wrapper is in the bin, GF was only person in kitchen, you think she has eaten it and you're not impressed.
Then wait and see what he comes back with.

SleepingAgent · 30/07/2022 08:21

RiverSkater · 29/07/2022 23:40

You let this go then you are telling her that she may treat you and your hospitality with no respect.

Call her out on it. She seems to have no regard for your feelings so do not worry about upsetting her for her greed and rude behaviour.

Yes you have to challenge this or it'll get worse!

IdiotCreatures · 30/07/2022 08:22

I'd be thinking Bulimia.

BiggerthanIusedtobe · 30/07/2022 08:22

It's stealing, simple as that. I would be very annoyed, and anyway why was she going down your fridge? However, YABU to make me fancy a bar of chocolate when I haven't got any in the house.

MakeItRain · 30/07/2022 08:23

Maybe just text your ds, "Did gf eat my chocolate that was in the fridge?!" And see what comes back.

PattyMelt · 30/07/2022 08:44

Message your son. I'm really upset that your Dp ate all my chocolate and threw the wrapper in the bin leaving me none, get me a new one. I was looking forward to that. See if he says anything to her. She has no problem upsetting you, why should you sy nothing.

Sunnysideup · 30/07/2022 08:49

I think some of these are a bit dramatic “fuming” etc

it was an odd thing to do and quite rude to just go into your fridge like that, but it’s still just a bar of chocolate. I would maybe text and say did Jane eat my chocolate when in the kitchen! I’d a full family sized bar in the fridge and now the wrappers in the bin, not a big deal just confused.” And leave it there,

I really do not think it’s something to go to war over.

Midlifemusings · 30/07/2022 08:57

I wouldn't say anything accusatory. I would just ask your son - hey did you or partner see my chocolate bar? I had put it in the fridge and went to get a piece for a snack and it was gone. Help me solve the mystery!

Let them respond and if they say yes partner ate it, then you can follow up with setting some boundaries and say - if you are hungry another time, let me know and I can get you some food. I would prefer if you guys ask before helping yourself.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 30/07/2022 09:07

Was it a bag of Maltesers ?

Yes, it's outright theft. A PP said she'll be after your money next.

She will deny all knowledge of swiping the chocolate and you will end up looking petty and/or paranoid. Hope this isn't the start of some genuine gas lighting.

I suspect her making the telephone call (on her phone or your phone if you have one in the kitchen ?) Was an excuse to be in the kitchen. Was it an important call or was she just bored ?

How come the cheeky bitch was rummaging in your fridge anyway ? (Not because she was peckish, it wasn't something Like cheese, was it. Oh no, it was a treat she helped herself to. The whole chocolate bar. Grabby and entitled. She would have gobbled it really quickly too. What finished first I wonder, the chocolate bar or the phone call ?) Sorry, but this is how it starts. If she comes round again, I wonder what she will be up to.

What will mysteriously disappear next time she comes round ? Just little bits. Have you got a jewellery box ? Do you leave your purse/handbag out of your sight ? Do you have nice ornaments or c.ds./d.v.ds.

She sees you as a push over and your property as nothing more than fair game. Sorry.

Herejustforthisone · 30/07/2022 09:17

What’s you’re relationship like with her? Doesn’t sound…good.

Mention it to your son, but be prepared for her to deny it and say you have dementia. Or something.

Nutella99 · 30/07/2022 09:18

What will mysteriously disappear next time she comes round ? Just little bits. Have you got a jewellery box ? Do you leave your purse/handbag out of your sight ? Do you have nice ornaments or c.ds./d.v.ds.

That escalated quickly 😂

SquirrelFan · 30/07/2022 09:44

I was thinking eating disorder, too, but then she'd have hidden the wrapping or taken it with her!

AvocadoPlant · 30/07/2022 09:52

Could you try making a joke if it, something like a text saying
oh wow I think I’m going mad. Bought myself a large bar of chocolate yesterday, went to get some from the fridge and it’s not there. The empty wrapper is in the bin, I don’t even remember starting it lol

Hopefully guilt her into admitting she ate it all. And if not, then at least she knows you noticed.

CounsellorTroi · 30/07/2022 09:55

Greengagesnfennel · 29/07/2022 21:24

Yanbu, but let it go. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. If your ds is happy in the relationship, that's what matters.

It is sort of a big deal. This girl has no boundaries and no shame otherwise she wouldn’t have left the wrapper in the bin for OP to see.

Whatsthisallaboutconfused · 30/07/2022 10:05

That’s so rude and weird! Sounds like she has some kind of eating problem. Maybe the call was a very stressful one and she panic eats??? In the real world you’re obviously not going to ask her to replace it. I think it’s one of those things you should just let go and see the bigger picture but yes, you’re right, it’s rude and weird.

Twillow · 30/07/2022 10:08

YABU to keep chocolate in the fridge.
And to intend to eat a family-sized bar yourself!
If she ate it, it's rude as well as greedy but 1 bar of chocolate not worth ruining relationships over.
Set a trap for next time she comes.

HollowTalk · 30/07/2022 10:09

@ToffeeNotCoffee Blimey I hope you don't have a DIL.

1982mommaof4 · 30/07/2022 10:58

ToffeeNotCoffee · 30/07/2022 09:07

Was it a bag of Maltesers ?

Yes, it's outright theft. A PP said she'll be after your money next.

She will deny all knowledge of swiping the chocolate and you will end up looking petty and/or paranoid. Hope this isn't the start of some genuine gas lighting.

I suspect her making the telephone call (on her phone or your phone if you have one in the kitchen ?) Was an excuse to be in the kitchen. Was it an important call or was she just bored ?

How come the cheeky bitch was rummaging in your fridge anyway ? (Not because she was peckish, it wasn't something Like cheese, was it. Oh no, it was a treat she helped herself to. The whole chocolate bar. Grabby and entitled. She would have gobbled it really quickly too. What finished first I wonder, the chocolate bar or the phone call ?) Sorry, but this is how it starts. If she comes round again, I wonder what she will be up to.

What will mysteriously disappear next time she comes round ? Just little bits. Have you got a jewellery box ? Do you leave your purse/handbag out of your sight ? Do you have nice ornaments or c.ds./d.v.ds.

She sees you as a push over and your property as nothing more than fair game. Sorry.

Bloody hell.. dramatic

Govesdancingpartner · 30/07/2022 11:29

She should not be taking anything from your fridge.
Who goes into someone's fridge and takes something without asking first.
Makes no difference what she took she is a sneeky thieving pos.
How long has she been with your son.
I would be angry with her, what next? As pps have said money, jewellery or has she done this already

VerifiedBot2351 · 30/07/2022 11:30

Did you send your son a message?

PinkyFlamingo · 30/07/2022 11:33

don't want to upset anyone by asking or seem petty

It never ceases to amaze me how much someone can be a complete and utter doormat, always scared to say anything at all in case it "upsets" someone else when they other person concerned clearly don't care about upsetting them.

theniceunderstandingone · 30/07/2022 11:35

No YANBU. I would be very pissed especially as she didn't ask or take a little bit.
That is so unbelievably rude

Youshouldbesolucky · 30/07/2022 11:38

If you’re worried about upsetting anyone be British and passive and send a text “it was lovely seeing you both today, maybe next time bring your own chocs instead of nicking your poor mothers 😉 “

or if you was my mum.. “eh you cheeky little shite, where’s my chocs?!”

Notimeforaname · 30/07/2022 11:45

You text you son and say " One of you owe me a chocolate bar" It's that simple.

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 30/07/2022 12:00

Perhaps she has an eating disorder, saw the choc and binged it on impulse. Might be very embarrassed.