What does your husband do that you just find so embarrassing? (Light hearted)

[SecretSnake]

Had to run away from him today slapping watermelons in Sainsburys. It’s too much. Holds it right up to his ear and gives them a good slap until he finds the right one.

literally married the white version of my dad.

He also very loudly shouted “DO I KNOW YOU?!” When I have him a little hug in the queue… I hate being in public with him 🥲

Adds terrible French words in conversation a la Del Boy Trotter to shop assistants/ drive through/ delivery drivers....

Wears shorts for absolutely anything he can get away with. Literally would wear shorts to a wedding if he thought I wouldn’t stop him. He is Shorts Guy - middle of winter, any occasion.

Mine talks much louder than he realises. So when he thinks he's whispering just to me the whole room can actually hear what he's saying. And it's usually judging someone/commenting on their appearance etc in a public place like the supermarket queue or restaurant. I have to tell him to be quiet whilst I'm dying of embarrassment.

He pretends he doesn't know me when I'm making sure I'm getting the ripest, juiciest, most fresh fruit.

Got my own back. Called across Sainsburys to him 'the sweetest passionfruit are the ones that look like an old man's bollocks'.

He now pegs it off to the meat section as soon as we walk in.

Mine does the opposite! He's very tall and speaks very quietly, often slightly vaguely. He's always saying things to me while facing away.
Shop assistants and restaurant staff usually look at me questioningly to interpret and I spend my time shouting 'What??' at him.
Our own offspring will ask me 'And what will dad have?' at pubs or cafe's like he's old and dotty 😂
He is getting on, but he's the brightest person I know by a long way.

Mine drops food on his clothes and doesn't notice. It's horrible!

Mine doesn't know how to say goodbye to people. if we've been with a group of friends and it's time for us to leave, even if we are really in a hurry because of another commitment, he prefers to just go and stay on the edge of the group and wait and wait for an opportunity to get a word in edgeways so he can say we have to go now. And if he starts to say it but someone talks over him, it's back to square one. I am willing to interrupt a conversation to say we've got to go, but he think that's rude. He just looks so dithery standing there.

He sneezes loudly. Like, stupidly loudly.

He'll sneeze, and in the corner of my eye I'll see a woman leap a foot in the air in shock, and an elderly man start staggering and clutching his left arm.

He says he can't help it, but FFS he CAN. If he were hiding under the floorboards from the Nazis in WW2 would he sneeze that loudly? NO I would wager he wouldn't. He would find a way to sneeze quietly.

Can you tell it fucks me right off when he sneezes really loudly?

Love him dearly though

I do that!
The other day I was in danger of getting a parking ticket but couldn't find a way of telling the group of people I had met when shopping that I needed to leave

This made me lol

When we are in France my dh embarrasses me by pointing and shouting loudly in English when he wants something. It irritates me as if he tells me what he wants I will ask in French.

I wear my Crocs everywhere

Mine cheerfully declares, Bon appetito! before every single meal, while my nerdy brain growls bon appetit OR buon appetito ngggggh.

He also calls every buddy or pal but for some weird reason that's what every man round here now calls every other man. I don't remember seeing the memo on that one.

When he pretends to be an expert or overly arrogant about something to other men. Cringe worthy 😂

Mine does the performative sneezing too.
He’s quite keen on nature, so camera on every walk. We were taking dog on an evening poo walk and he was lying face down in the churchyard taking pics of an unusual plant.(it wasn’t, it was herb bloody Robert) Some kids from school saw us, luckily they were older sensible ones, but as I was studiously pretending I wasn’t with him, they were going “Mrs ofwit is your husband ok?”

"Do I know you" 😂

He has a Christmas suit (not a Santa suit). It’s bright red with Christmas trees on it, with trousers, jacket and matching tie. He wore that to work with a Santa hat…and got sent home!!!

I thought it was hilarious.

I love a loon and he’s definitely one ❤️

HILARIOUS 🤣

Speaking to me in a loud Spanish accent in the Co-Op (he’s not Spanish). Wearing grotesque brown Crocs in public.

My (American) husband LOVES to dress up, but pretends he doesn't.
His most famous purchase was a Tricorn hat (think Poldark era). He also reduced one of our dds to tears when she was a teen after cheerfully showing her the furlined backwoodsman hat with ear flaps he played to wear (as a spectator) to the High School play.

Calls the taxi driver “mate” despite not being a mate sort of person himself. He thinks he’s blending in….no dearest, you’re wearing khakis. 😳

Mine is extremely embarrassing ALL THE TIME. It’s a defence mechanism. He’s actually really shy.
He will sing at the top of his voice in shops, fart loudly with a raised leg, has even been known to do a full dance routine out in public to Shakira/Pussycat Dolls/Nsync. He just gives no fucks at all. 🙈 Thankfully he’s a really good singer and dancer, but it’s still hilariously embarrassing

Mine is hyper sociable, he lives to chat & make friends. Once I forced him to help me trim our front hedge & he literally flagged down a passing car to talk to them. He sang to a waitress today, because he ordered cockles for his starter. Our teenage sons go into spasms of cringe. I alternate between frustration and relief. I'm more introverted so he takes the pressure off me! He's charmed loads of people into doing us good turns and favours, mostly I imagine in the hopes that he'll go away & leave them alone

No DH currently, but my ex once tried to argue at a Christian Small Group Meeting that ‘Show me Heaven’ by Maria McKee was a Christian song. Still not sure whether he really believed it or was actually trying to embarrass me on purpose. Either would have been very in character for him.

Mine is fairly introverted and had a very antisocial upbringing, as a result he just can’t be bothered to talk to people he doesn’t work with. It’s so embarrassing. His resting face is ‘glare mode’. I can see others get uncomfortable around him and I wish so much he’d just learn a bit of small talk!! He was really cold to a friendly delivery guy the other day, it came across so rude and snobby 🙈