To tell him to leave me alone? 10yo

[Mamato3boysand2dogs]

My youngest son is driving me insane and I don't know if it's me, or him ... or what other mums are doing!

Basically bored 24/7 unless actively entertained. We have to be "doing" something all the time or he just roams around, bored, which distracts me and means i cant get on / or relax. He has all the gadgets. His own room, full of "stuff". I take him out a lot. Yesterday seaside, Saturday alton towers. In between the days out , i always try and invite one of his mates to play, or take them out, to keep him busy. We bake sometimes, he has plenty to watch on TV and a big garden to play in, should he choose.

Yet it feels like he is slowly squeezing my head in a vice. When nothing is going on and im wfh or just pottering, he mopes around with a look on his face. Bored.

Ive just told him to leave me alone and now i feel guilty .

Mums of 10/11 year old boys... is this normal????

Make sure you say it in a nice way though and not like you’re bored or fed up with them.

I'm sure @sunsetsandsandybeaches, it's the MN way😂

It sounds like you're making a mistake by putting too much emphasis on 'entertainment' rather than 'occupation'.

If mine say they're bored, I respond with, "Brilliant, I need help with..."

If they're milling about looking out of place, I ask, "Are you looking for something to do?" and they're off like lightning because they know I have a list of jobs for them 😂

Tell him that if he mucks in and assists you with your chores, you’ll be finished quicker and you can both do something nice together. See if that motivates him! If not, he’s clearly not bored enough and can stay that way.

Yanbu

Dc have to get on with it sometimes

Agree about the being bored thing - too bad would be my answer

Ds was never like this. Gaming is much more fun.

Dd is similar age and she's stuck to me all day. Sometimes she follows me round the house. I did not get in until 2 this morning, so I would quite like her to bugger off and let me snooze. But as soon as some other kids arrive back in the street, she'll be out.

Yeah, if my 10 year old knows if he starts acting bored at me, I will find chores for him; however, we now live in a place where he can go out with the neighbour kids his age or his siblings. When it's been more loneliness than boredom, I'm more likely to find more things for us - but I understand being tired of that after everything you've listed.

I've also found getting into a rhythm helps - certain times of day for certain activities, certain things to be done before the fun things. When home, we usually only do video games after 3pm after the kitchen's been picked up from lunch/snacks since breakfast that destroy the place at this time of year that gets in the way of making dinner without this pick up. Right now I can hear the pick up dashing about (and I'll likely have to call them back in a few times before they can flee to the screens, I've already had to point out to the older kids again that making the 10 year old do all of it so they can play games isn't going to work).

Actually ignoring a child and dismissing his feelings as attention seeking could be considered as abusive.

How would you feel if your partner ignored you and told you you were an attention seeker? children are people with feelings too and I think they should be respected...

Maybe I'm a tough parent, but I wouldn't tolerate this whatsoever. I don't think my children would dare suggest to me they were bored from about 5 years old. 'No problem, you can help me out with these dishes then.'
Remember, by the time children are 10, many/most parents are working full time from home. I am. My children (now 13 & 11 but this has been going on for years) non negotiable don't interrupt me. They can organise whatever they want with their friends. I clock off at 3 and we'll do something together then.

Omg @Blackmogg - do you have children?

My boy of a similar age is exactly like this, but he always has been. The smaller one will play by himself for hours. I once made him a list of all my suggestions for things he could do and every time he complained he was bored, I just tapped the list. It didn't really help, but it made me feel better

I feel your pain
If my 10 year old doesnt have a tv, tablet. Xbox or ball of some variety he'd rather sulk mope and literally stare at a wall than find something to do. He wont do lego or read or do any of the football or cricket themed puzzle books he has.
Ive had to tell him again today if he doesnt cut it out with all the reels and vines on youtube which are fucking up (not those words) his ability to focus or concentrate on anything i will ban it all together.

Hes been out and about all week, clubs, adventure golf, cinema, seen friends, played football its never enough and its relentless

Yes I have 10 year old twins and a 17 year old son thanks for asking.

Do you?

Could you put up a calendar and fill in times when ye will go out or when ye will do things together so he knows things will change...eventually!!!
Sometimes when they're bored they think it will last forever. Maybe beside it write a list of stuff he can do on his own as he might be lacking a bit of imagination.

Oh please 😂

Children always moan they're bored. It won't kill them to be bored, or to be told to go off and entertain themselves. It's certainly not abusive to tell a 10yo to stop moaning and find something to go, FGS.

Like several other posters, I always helpfully gave my sons tasks to do if they were 'bored'.

Worked a treat.

Also "hi Bored, I'm mum" bought me ten minutes of peace as they stropped off. 😁

🙄 oh please. Entertaining your child 24/7 does not create a fully functioning adult.

It is important for them to learn the universe does not revolve around them and there are times when you are busy and cannot drop everything because little angel wants to play rock paper scissors for the 8158th time that morning.

Take him to the library, let him pick some books. When he says he's bored, tell him he has a choice; either read them, read them out loud or write out each page in his best writing.

@Blackmogg
Hopefully this doesn't apply to you, but some kids, mostly boys, grow up to believe others, ie women, are there for their entertainment. This board is full of miserable wives whose husbands not only can't do anything for themselves, but also still expect their wives to 'entertain' them, whilst they also do all the hw/childcare. This attitude comes from somewhere.

I think it's borderline abusive to dismiss them as attention seekers.

You're entitled to your opinion and me to mine.

Sorry to have enraged you so much....

@Blackmogg OP is busy wfh or doing other bits. Imagine telling your employer you are just going to take a 4 hour break to watch two films because your 10 year old is bored.

Kids moan about being bored all the time. They eventually come up with something to do. Don’t feel mean, everyone gets annoyed sometimes.

Ok. 😘

You've not enraged me in the slightest, I just think you're being utterly ridiculous 😉

Which is why I suggested her doing One activity with him and then suggesting he rearrange his room or something....!! I didn't say she had to entertain him 24/7!

I don't know if she's working from home....the summer hols only last 6 weeks, they'll be back at school before we know it.

For regular day to day routine, not a one off or ad hoc arrangement, then primary school children ideally will be in childcare when their parents are working.

You wouldn't leave him at home all day alone, and working from home is still working.

Book him into holiday camps so he's occupied when you are working