Concerns over primary school LGBTQ+ club

[holihell]

Just heard this might be a thing for my DC school next year. Surely it can wait for secondary stage?? Why are we offering primary children opportunities to sexually identify so young? I get true gay kids often have these feelings young and am all for talking openly but I do fear as well that by having a specific 'fun' club about it those who are a bit lost / or, dare I say it follow trends, may be steered down a path that's not necessarily for them.. am I being unreasonable to be concerned?

Y6 is plenty old enough to know your orientation. It’s not about who you fancy , but the entire societal set up is biased towards heterosexual and there are a 1000 different ways that someone can feel out of place and not fitting in. I say this as a heterosexual myself but as a parent of a lesbian who came out to me at aged 11 and is now about to take GCSEs.

Just like the world is setup in a way that doesn’t work for those who may be autistic.

If it’s done well, a club like this could be very supportive.

So no types of loving adult relationships should be discussed?

Being LGB(T+) is not just about sex but also about committed, loving relationships in the same way being heterosexual is not just about sex. It is about family units that have two same sex parents. It is about having siblings who are older and coming out.

To single LGB relationships out as something that children should not know about and to link knowledge of that to grooming is absolutely homophobic - even if you do not want to see yourself that way.

I'm sorry your bigotry is showing.

I would say in the current climate that LGBTQA+ has been coopted by the TQ+ and there is a level of indoctrination into trans and queer ideology - I would be wary of clubs at primary schools for this. Young minds are maliable - fair enough teach about relationships including all types but keep T&Q out of it

as someone who identifies within the whole LGBTQIA+ acronym so is hopefully not coming from a 'they will turn the kids gay!' angle I think it depends on what the club is about and what they are going to be doing in it.

From secondary on, I absolutely think it's a great idea and would have loved for it to have been an option when I was in school. But any younger - even if kids do 100% know their sexuality by a young age, do they NEED to discuss it in any detail, particularly with adults? In exactly the same way as I wouldn't really see any need for a 'straight' ten year old girl to have a specific club with a teacher in charge 'facilitating discussion' about boys she fancies, what she feels comfortable doing with them, what she tells her parents etc...just all has the potential to be a bit dodgy.

If it, like one poster suggested, it's a bit wider and includes, for example, kids who come from LGBT+ families, 'allies' etc. with no need to 'self identify' into any criteria for attendance, and is just more general discussion, perhaps with a bit of history/background (age appropriate), so just more of a 'general interest' club then that's a bit different and makes more sense.

I'm not sure how I feel about it tbh.

I'm a primary teacher, and just can't picture how it would be managed?

children need to get back to having an innocent childhood!! it’s such a shame these things are introduced so early on.. it can wait!! leave the kids alone!!!

There are some really balanced responses here - exploring what’s developmentally reasonable, what children are mature enough to consider, different family make ups etc, cross referenced with the curriculum. Fine. But there are also so many anti LGBTQ+ opinions and views dressed up as pearl clutching and that’s the scariest part for me, some of you are going to be raising your children to be just as bigoted as you are, and that’s not OK. Gateways for grooming? Behave. If you’re going to ascribe that ‘concern’ to this scenario then I assume you’re also considering church groups/youth groups/scouts etc?! No? Thought not.

At my FS primary school he and several other DC kept asking if they could have a chess club. Parents offered to send in chess sets. They were told no one to run it. Then in his last year a LGBNBT club was started and suddenly they had a teacher to run it. Quite a few parents complained. FS said only 4 pupils went. So a club was started to only benefit 4 DC but at least 12 wanted the chess club and told no. Madness in the extreme.

This is pretty disingenuous and comes across as quite entitled

so there weren’t any teachers who were confident enough in chess/knew how to play chess? So they didn’t run the club
there is a teacher with expertise/enthusiasm in another area, so happy to give up their planning/ppa time for this instead?

super reasonable

100% agree

Vulnerable children being persuaded that they were born in the wrong body

What about the kids who are aware they are gay at aged 10/11 and could do with support / belonging?

A school club should be a sport or activity based, activity focused. A club like this would encourage otherness

An exception would be something like young carrer club. Where they need time and space to be a child.

You should be encouraged to be yourself. Anyone should have the opportunity to join a club, not discriminatory, try out an activity.

Utterly wrong. Let them be kids.

Thats every day of the year, its every time a classmate with a mum and dad has a new sibling, everytime a classmates mum and dad marry, or mum and step dad, dad and step mum, its every time a female teacher marries a man, or a male teacher marries a woman, its everytime a female teacher says “my husband” or a male teacher says “my wife”, its every time a child says “my mummy and daddy”, its every time a female teacher has a baby with a man, or a male teacher has a baby with a woman. Its every nativity where a woman has a baby with a man, its every RE wedding lesson where a boy and a girl get married in class to demo it. Its every time a girl is asked “do you have a boyfriend” or “is he your boyfriend” by adults, its every time a boy is told “you’ll be a heartbreaker” by an adult, its always straight adults that say that too, creepy.

I think understanding that families come in different varieties and that we aren’t all the same is a good thing. Understanding that basic decency and civility is due to everyone is a good thing.

I don’t see why a club is needed, theres a god awful habit of people trying to find an “identity” why not just “be”. I’m from an ethnic minority background and the idea of my race/colour/religion being an “identity” feels so heavy. I don’t identify as anything, I just am. I think children probably feel like they have to know what their identity is these days. Which can’t be great for anyones mental health, isn’t it better to say “some people are like this, it’s a fixed orientation, they can’t do anything about it (and nor should they be made to feel they should) so lets not be a twat eh”

Plus five quid says they start talking about some gingerbread man nonsense. I also expect it’l be heavy on stuff about trans people which is not necessarily going to be very helpful to kids who are confused about their feelings.

@Simonjt so really LGBT experiences should be included in these scenarios not hidden away in a club.

I agree with this. They would probably need to spend the first term explaining what all the initials mean.
is it a club to support children with their sexual orientation, or their gender identity? One is a much better idea than the other.

Inappropriate at primary school age. I don’t even like the push on this issue at secondary school age. Half my children’s classmates have identified as something other than what they are since it became such a big topic. Yes, anyone who genuinely feels different should have support but it doesn’t have to be talked about everywhere. This is a minority group. Helping children navigate relationships would be more useful as that is something they all deal with- friendships and relationships.

I bet you also complain that there's no white history month.

Oh please.

There is a kid in my daughter's class who is obviously gay. She's told my daughter she likes girls but not to tell anyone. A kid like her would really benefit from something like this

Children don't magically get the gay because of a club. They often know they have attraction that other children don't have even if they can't place why or what or who and it can be very confusing for them. They often don't understand it in sexual ways but they know just like heterosexuals kids.

If you don't like it ok. Tell school you don't consent to your child having any involvement (and potentially be a bad parent if your kid is secretly the one who needs to connect to other kids like them) but don't complain and stop a club that can help other kids understand their feelings are normal.

Which feelings are normal? The LGBT or the QIA+ ones? I don't think some of the latter are "normal" for a primary age child to feel.
How do parent separate out from such a broad umbrella what will actually be covered in this club?

Phobic would be the word.

Well, fortunately, your uninformed opinion isn't reality.