Concerns over primary school LGBTQ+ club

[holihell]

Just heard this might be a thing for my DC school next year. Surely it can wait for secondary stage?? Why are we offering primary children opportunities to sexually identify so young? I get true gay kids often have these feelings young and am all for talking openly but I do fear as well that by having a specific 'fun' club about it those who are a bit lost / or, dare I say it follow trends, may be steered down a path that's not necessarily for them.. am I being unreasonable to be concerned?

I think it's totally fine in secondary school, and I'm happy for primary schools to talk about different families, some people have two dads etc.

But a sexuality for primary aged children is absolutely bizarre! Can you imagine having a Heterosexual Club? What on earth would they do there? Talk about people they fancy? Start relationships? Extra sex ed? Would gay children be allowed to attend? Would you have to state your sexuality? It's totally inappropriate.

Many children know who they are attracted too from a young age. I loved kiss chase and spin the bottle when I was 10 and definitely knew I liked boys 😁 I remember my best guy friend at the same age being grossed out by kissing the girls and wanting to kiss the guys but none of them wanted to kiss him. He's married to a man now. Even if children don't know what the words gay/lesbian/bisexual etc. mean, they still have feelings.

Even if children don't know what the words gay/lesbian/bisexual etc. mean, they still have feelings

But why on earth does any child, straight or gay, need a club for this at primary age?

A club for Primary school kids based primarily on sexual attraction, is obviously inappropriate.

See, this is what would worry me about this type of club. What do you mean when you say And so what if your child experiments? As long as it's what THEY want to do, who cares? We are talking about primary aged children here! It's dangerous to tell children that sexually experimenting is okay so long as they want to do it/it feels good. That's something that paedophiles push!

I'm not worried such a club would 'turn' my child gay, I'm not worried if they are gay, or their friends, but I don't feel comfortable with a primary school promoting a 'fun' club with its basis in sexual identity. It's unnecessary. They have PSHE, & assemblies etc & they have opps to talk if they have feelings they don't understand.. likewise, if it's about 'minorities' what outrage there would be if there was an Asian club or Eastern European group. It's just weird but as I say I've only 'heard' and the details are vague so might all be a storm in a teacup! Just wanted to sense check my reaction really.

Yanbu op having a club for children based on adult sexual types is simply grooming dressed up as concern. It’s a good way to identify children who have poor adult gatekeepers around them and is classic grooming behaviour.

Yup.

Not suitable for primary school. YANBU

It's all the rage you know - secondary push these clubs to kids, now coming to a primary near you.

The report today on the clinic said that affirmation of gender change is damaging to children. They are children - leave the sexual preferences and I'm in the wrong body crap and let them be kids.

I think this very much depends on what is actually going to happen in the club. Though, I suspect it'll be nothing more than a PR opportunity. Something to splash on a website or prospectus.

Are they just going to be dossing about doing fun craft activities? Is there going to be a more serious element to it and what will the approach be?

Is there any of it that shouldn't be part of normal school lessons? I doubt it. Having lessons about diversity embedded in the curriculum and strong anti-bullying policies that are enforced are much more important than 3 kids colouring in pride flags once a month.

As pp have said, in the primary age range, I've not known many children 'come out' so there would never be enough children to form any sort of club. Even if some believe themselves to be gay, lesbian or bi, not many have the courage or the desire to be public about it.

Clubs for any particular group aren't an issue within themselves as long as they fulfil a purpose.

Way too young, in our secondary school the LGBTQ+ club is for Year 10+.

There’s no such thing as trans children. It’s an adult concept. Children may be gender non-confirming, but that’s totally different.

On this matter alone, I’d be writing to the Chair of Governors to express significant concern.

This may be controversial but I know of a big religious group who runs clubs similar to this from a young age. It's very "come along, meet friends, have pizza and pop and get a good dose of religious doctrination" thrown into the mix.

If we're going to judge one future potential life choice/identification /ethos/education we should equally judge the other.

I'm LGBTQ+ supportive but very atheist so this tarnishes my outlook on this.

My DD is autistic and went to one of those clubs first year of secondary school, I didn't even know the club existed, it is in fact the only lunch time club run by the school.

I found out about the club after weeks of her having tics and being anxious because she blurted out I don't know what I am, I need to choose.

So a pre pubescent child was sent into a state of high anxiety because she had no sexual feelings yet....

What angered me the most is when I raised this with school and asked what training and support had been given to psychologically support children with understanding their sexuality, especially for neurodiverse children. I didn't get a straight answer.

Probably cause they answer is fuck all, but it's okay cause the teacher is gay.

The older gay children still get bullied and girls still get sexually harassed not it's okay the school have scored woke points have a grooming LGBT club 🤔

How about we teach children about a variety of relationships, consent and safe sex.

I wish they waited till they were 15/16 otherwise it's just going to cause problems right now.

You've summed it up perfectly.

Op I'd challenge it. Children shouldn't be sexualised in this way.

I think we need to make a distinction between a primary school ensuring that children grow up with an open & non-discriminatory attitude towards difference (of race, sex, sexuality). But 9 or 10 is probably a couple of years too early for them to be encouraged to think about their own sexual preferences as fixed.

I'd also be worried about the current contamination of learning about LGB preferences with the extremes of trans ideology which encourages children to think that if they like things which are gender stereotyped for the other sex, they must "really" be that sex. EG a girl who enjoys Meccano & cars & fighting or a boy who likes dolls and nail polish etc etc etc.

Or even more criminally, that a child is "born in the wrong body."

Such trans extremist ideology is the opposite of openness to difference. It tries to shut it down.

Questioning whether a club based on sexuality and gender identity is appropriate for primary school aged children is not the same as being anti LGBT. Accusations of bigotry and intolerance are increasingly being used to silence people raising concerns and I question the agenda of anyone who makes such accusations.

Your comments about children "experimenting" are worrying from a safeguarding point of view, we are taking about children under the age of 11.

I think is a bad idea to encourage any child to think they must have a label of some description, they will work everything out for themselves without adults telling them they need to pick a box to put themselves in.

I wouldn't want my children going to one of the these clubs either in fact a weird minister tried to get them to go to one as the neighbors children went, he gave me the creeps and they were far to young to go to a mixed age and sex group without an adult, especially one that wasn't clear what they did.
So I declined.

I would move my kid from the clutches of the club. I'd bet that after that club starts up far more kids at that school will suddenly be one trans. Sickening.

🙄

It is inappropriate at that age. They are common where I live and they are problematic.

Even at the senior level it's not always great - in my daughter's school the club is dominated by kids who don't fit in elsewhere, some with intellectual disabilities that mean they are operating at a younger level. They are largely there because they want to fit in which creates all kinds of weird pressures around sexual identity.

And what they aren't doing is running other substantial clubs and activities that might help kids find things other than their sexual identity to invest in.

But there is really no good reason to have these for the younger kids, it isn't a good investment of time or resources. Eleven year olds should be playing a game or outside or painting pictures, not sitting around talking about their sexuality, which to a large degree is pretty undeveloped and will change significantly in the next five years.

Yeah, it seems to be a pretty common story with younger kids suddenly deciding they are trans that the parents find out that they had been going to one of these groups. The schools don't tell the parents it's going on either.

If my pre pubescent child came home spouting shit like they'd 'found out' they were asexual or aromantic I would hit the fucking roof.

I absolutely knew I was different at age 11. Other girls in my class were talking about crushes and there were even some boyfriend/girlfriend couples and I just couldn't relate to that at all. I didn't have the word for it (and wouldn't until my mid 20s) but I was VERY much aware...although I assumed I was just a "late bloomer" at the time.

That would be nope from me