To not tell parents I'm in labour

[Wdib78]

Title pretty much describes it!
I'm due to give birth any day now, I would prefer to keep it quiet from everyone in my life, that's parents, Ext family , friends when I actually go to the hospital.
The first people to know when LO is born will be my parents, and my DP can obviously let his brother/ sister know, we are NC with MIL.
My dad is adamant that I must ring/ text when I go into hospital, I said that you'll be the first to know when baby is born!
He proceeded to whine in a childlike voice "we want to know"
I repeated that they will be the first to know when baby is born.
It quite upset me that he can't just respect my wishes that I don't want people on tenterhooks waiting for me to physically give birth once in the hospital.
Again today they popped round and basically told me I HAVE to tell him when I go to hospital because he's "pestered" by not knowing,
I said you do realise that just because I go to the hospital doesn't mean the bany will be born soon thereafter?
I said I didn't want people then calling/ texting waiting updates as to what is happening!
I repeated again that they would be the first to know of baby's arrival!
What they don't know is I've had a tough week waiting on induction with the balloon, and having it fitted, being ill with it, removed, awaiting water's breaking etc
I can just imagine the added stress I would have had having to keep them informed, when this past week has been pretty horrendous.
The more he presses to be told and tries to bully me into what he wants the more I'll push away and be adamant not to tell them.
Does anyone know a fairly polite way to firmly get my point across?
Oh and to add to it he said to my DP he was leaving it to him then to text instead, I nearly said you dont seem to realise that he'll do as I ask and NOT message you 😅

deligWhy are parents so pushy these days? I didn't expect my DD to tell me when she went into labour, my SIL rang me when the baby had arrived, and that was what I expected.

Just don't tell them, only my dad knew when I went into labour (he had to collect the dog) but he waited for us to contact him with the news.

It's your birth, your choice who to tell.

;This 100 Per Cent.
He's is not listening to you and pressurising you. Start as you mean to go on.

Several pps have said just say yes we will text you when there is news - and then text them when YOU want to. Otherwise mute the phone and that's one less thing to stress you out when you are busy giving birth.
Also, your DH could let him know that he's being very heavy handed and to chill out a bit as its stressful and that he will let him know when its the right time. Just don't say that its your right time, not your Dad's

I didn't even tell my mum I was going in for induction. I spoke to her from m the hospital and managed not to lie whilst not letting on where I was. Didn't want to worry her and, more pertinently, I didn't want from the world and his wife asking how I was getting on.

DP rang her about half an hour after the birth and she ignored the call, then moaned when I spoke to her a few hours later "Why didn't you ring earlier?". Much relief that I hadn't had to put up with her nonsense in the midst of things.

I feel your pain, OP. I had five daily phone calls from family "any news?" when I was expecting my first. I was ready to kill. When I finally went into labour, the in-laws didn't get any answer when they phoned and decided to pile in the car and drive 4 hours to the hospital and barged in to the delivery room minutes after I had given birth. I haven't forgiven them to this day (nearly 30 years on....)

Sorry, I was called in for my waters breaking just as I typed the last post, a very traumatic day later and a c section and baby is here, and yes I did tell my dad I was in hospital and would let them know when baby had arrived and that he may be waiting a while.

There's nothing worse than when a woman is in labour and the birth partner is constantly on the phone fielding messaged and calls from family members. Also the same for when the baby is born. Dad or mum with their eyes on the phone instead of soaking up the first special minutes of their babe.

Sorry, but I think you're being a little unreasonable here. If your dad is anything like mine (and my mum), he'll be on pins worried about his baby ie you.

Congratulations @Wdib78!

Fwiw, I didn't tell my mum (or anyone) with #1. She cracked it massively, nobody else cared one bit. I told her with #2 and she showed up at the frigging hospital!

Now we're NC.

Enjoy your new bub! 🥰

Oh, congratulations! Hope you're recovering well and enjoying your wee one.

Congratulations Op!
Hope you are both doing well x

I didn't have any choice, my in laws took me & dh to triage & were there when they decided to induce me, my mum came to be with me, came back the next morning & stayed until ds was born 48 hours later.

Thanks everyone, midwife came to do some checks and he started crying, guy with his girlfriend bed across seriously just shushed him and tutted!

That sounds like a whole new thread! Someone else’s husband, sleeping in your maternity ward, just shushed your baby?!
Wow. Reason #758 why he shouldn’t be there.

Congratulations btw!

I hope the midwife told him off!

Tell them what you want when you want . It’s your life and your baby. You don’t have to obey your father or cave in to his bullying.

Sorry, didn’t see update, congratulations!

If it were me, I’d say Ok and just not tell them - and then lie afterwards and say you were both in too much of a tizz to remember.

I didn’t want to know when dd went into labour with her first - I’d have been a nervous wreck for the duration. I wanted to know only after it was over.

Didn’t have a choice for 2 or 3, since we were looking after 1 or 1 and 2.

Their curtains were closed but she didn't half shoot a dirty look their way , he did it twice, and cos my stats were beeping cos my pulse ox was too low he muttered "ffs"
I think the words "tosspiece" come to mind 🤣

Why cant you tell them? Text when you're off to hospital and leave it there. They wont expect any updates from you.

When i was in labour, i didn't even think to look at a phone let alone respond to anything

@Wdib78 Congratulations. I wondered if you had started!

I didn't tell my parents first time round. They only knew second time round as it was a planned induction and we needed them to help with DD1 so that DH could be with me

I didn't tell anyone. I don't see why I would. I was busy giving birth!!