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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Secret confessions thread

999 replies

colourPink · 27/07/2022 20:13

Okay, so, we all have these thoughts; things we know we DEFINITELY are being unreasonable about and yet we can't help but think them.

This is that thread. A chance to say whatever you want judgement free. You know it's silly, you know it makes no sense but it's how you feel. Feel free to share! It might make me feel a little less crazy.

I'll go first...

My best friend gave birth to twins today and I am INSANELY jealous. Simply because I want twins. I know it's stupid, I know I likely won't even have twins but I want them so badly and now she has them. I feel like she's stolen the twin dust and there will be none left for me!

Like I said - just somewhere to post how you're feeling consequence free Smile

OP posts:
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5
kc431 · 28/07/2022 13:50

NCJustForThisThread123456789 · 28/07/2022 13:46

With #metoo going on and apparently there isn't a single woman who has not experienced harassment and being assaulted, I sometimes sadly wonder what is wrong with me to never have experienced any of this - too plain to be visible at all?

I used to have this exact same thought - never been so much as wolf-whistled. The day I voiced it to a friend, some random bloke approached us in a restaurant and tried to force himself on me! Karma….

blobby10 · 28/07/2022 13:53

the80sweregreat · 28/07/2022 12:47

Anyone remember' our tune' with Simon bates on the radio ? Or confession time with Simon Mayo on radio 2? A few of these confessions on there remind me of these segments.

@the80sweregreat Simon Mayo still has a confessions slot on his Greatest Hits Radio Show from 4-7pm. Confessions is usually 5.45pm Monday to Thursday! They are still brilliant especially if Simon tries to do an accent 😊

Homewardbound2022 · 28/07/2022 13:53

DillonPanthersTexas · 28/07/2022 07:30

Occasionally I produce made up missing pet posters and pin them around the neighborhood. Said pets are usually of the exotic variety, snakes, barberry monkeys, lynx cats, Komodo dragons etc, they always create a stir on the nextdoor app. Most people see them for the bit of fun that they are but there are several folk who get really angry and have contacted the RSPCA and police over the irresponsible people keeping dangerous pets. Under a different username I sometimes post 'sightings' just to stir the pot. I use the mobile number of someone I really dislike on the posters.

Yes I am sad

Not sad. Fabulous!😛

Midnightblack · 28/07/2022 13:53

Goldbar · 28/07/2022 13:46

My husband used to have a running top which he liked. One day, he left it on the floor of the bathroom (used urghh!) and didn't pick it up even when asked to 4 times. I eventually bagged it using a nappy bag and threw it in a dark corner in the stair cupboard.

A couple of weeks later, one of the window latches broke and he promised me that he'd deal with it. 3 weeks later, nothing having been done, I organised for someone to come and fix it. I'd meant to give the running top back but after that I binned it in a temper. He still wonders where it went occasionally.

I've toyed with the idea of binning something of his every time he annoys me but have decided that's probably a bit psycho.

It may be psycho but I'm totally adopting this idea - thank you. There's too much clutter in the house anyway.

DramaticSunflower · 28/07/2022 13:56

Homewardbound2022 · 28/07/2022 13:53

Not sad. Fabulous!😛

Show quote history

You have just given me a brilliant idea 💡

StClare101 · 28/07/2022 13:57

I have absolutely no interest in other peoples children (but also don’t expect them to be interested in mine).

I carry a grudge until the end of time. I will never forget it if you wronged me.

TitsInAbsentia · 28/07/2022 14:03

romany4 · 27/07/2022 21:59

I wanked off my best mates boyfriend in a phone box in the rain when I was 17

This is more like it!

ARabbitisaBunny · 28/07/2022 14:04

rightonthyme · 28/07/2022 13:14

Mine is very silly - I have a massive, massive crush on Derren Brown, and would happily let him hypnotise me and do whatever he wanted to me. The way he rolls his shirt sleeves up gives me the fannygallops. I am the wrong sex entirely for him to be interested so I just content myself with dreaming :D

Derren Brown smells wonderful. Don’t ask me how I know!

InTheConfessional · 28/07/2022 14:05

NC because I'm not proud of this.

I often wish my mum would pass away. She's mid 80s now and not in best of health but even when her health is ok she's a bit of a hypochondriac. If I ever have something wrong, you can bet she's had it twice as bad. Mum is a widow, having lost my lovely dad several years ago. She has no friends. She won't ring anyone and then moans when she "hasn't spoken to a soul" as she expects everyone to call her. The only time she goes out is to have her hair done every few weeks, or to go grocery shopping weekly. She's always favoured my brother as the golden child, even though he moved away years ago and I'm local, visit and call regularly, and I'm at her beck and call when she's ill. She doesn't really have a fulfilling life anymore and if I'm honest I can find visiting her a chore. We don't have a huge bond and when I visit all she does is tell me chapter and verse about the neighbours and what they've been up to. If I try to tell her something about my life she quickly turns the conversation back to her or her neighbours. I dread her becoming terminally ill with anything and having to provide extensive care. I hope when her end comes it's something quick, for her sake and mine.

Funkychicken54321 · 28/07/2022 14:05

@ThatsWhatItsAllAbout I love that!

Especially playing candy crush, it made me laugh out loud.

Homewardbound2022 · 28/07/2022 14:06

Chingwaar · 28/07/2022 11:11

I was reading a thread on the evils of porn a couple of months ago where somebody said something along the lines of how awful it must be for the poor porn star to be fucked by twelve different men, one after the other.

I was thinking that I wouldn’t mind trying that.

😂

Thestoppedfan · 28/07/2022 14:06

I secret eat, it’s always something delicious- I could have it normally at home and no one would judge me (im a normal BMI) but I enjoy being alone and taking the time to really enjoy it. Yesterday I needed to post something for work so walked to the post office then chose a lovely park bench and had a really fancy protein bar.

Maytodecember · 28/07/2022 14:10

Many years ago I worked with an evil cow who not only made me look very stupid in front of two students but her action let the two students down VERY badly. I immediately tendered my resignation. And a year later I heard on the grapevine her husband had left her for their cleaner, she was furious. I raised my glass to that man.

GeorgeCat1 · 28/07/2022 14:11

I was once having unplanned sex, when I was 20 and free, and we had no lube so I grabbed a tube of VO5 hair oil. Sex was good but jesus, the afterburn lasted about 2 days. Do not recommend!

newnamenaughty · 28/07/2022 14:11

I work from home and spend a LOT of time on Mumsnet, watching tv and generally sciving off.

I do enough work to get away with it and everyone in the company thinks I work hard but really I'm just a lazy cow.

SunshineAndFizz · 28/07/2022 14:14

I stick my fingers up at my DH behind his back if he annoys me.

He never sees, and I always feel like 'I've won'.

EmJay19 · 28/07/2022 14:19

Genius 🤣
I’m going to start doing this!

Namechangerxxx · 28/07/2022 14:19

When I was told my alcoholic, abusive exh had died I danced around my kitchen. Then searched for the insurance policy I’d kept paying……..

guiltyassin · 28/07/2022 14:20

I sext with strangers.

Single. Married. It doesn't matter. It's a buzz for a while. The guilt of doing it with someone who is in a relationship gets to me eventually and I'll stop.

I have low self-esteem and become someone else when I'm doing it.

I hate myself for it.

sorrynotavailabe · 28/07/2022 14:21

My mum died in 2020. I tell people I miss her but the truth is I don't. She acted like she cared about me when other people (family ,friends, even DD who she adored) were present, but when it was just the 2 of us she barely spoke to me and when she was often downright nasty. My dad died not long after mum and I miss him terribly.

JustDanceAddict · 28/07/2022 14:27

@InTheConfessional - your mum sounds like my MIL. She’s heading in to late 80s and cognitive decline has turned her into a right biatch. Even dh who used to never say anything against her has started to see visiting her as a real chore. I’ve never really liked her much although I will say up until recently she’s been v good w the grandchildren (all of whom are now adults).

PsychoSusan · 28/07/2022 14:27

Love this thread.

I'm a lying psychopath...

When I was 9 I used to borrow (without asking) my brother's air rifle to shoot rats on the estate (council not country) where I grew up. My single-parent dad had been in the army and had taught us how to shoot. Instead of going for a clean kill with a head or heart shot I used to shoot them in the arse or gut, so they would die slowly in pain. For homework a new teacher asked us to write about what we enjoyed doing, and I wrote about, among other things, shooting rats. My dad, who never took an interest in my school work, asked, out of the blue, what my homework was, and I showed it to him. He said you shouldn't tell people about such things. Always tell teachers what they want to hear, no matter what you think. He carefully tore out the double page so there would be no sign anything was missing, and I wrote the same but left out the bit about rats. At my dad's suggestion I wrote about really liking to stroke cats on the way to school (which was true) and wishing we didn't live in a flat so I could have a cat of my own. Thinking back my dad must have been secretly looking at my school work, not wanting to put any pressure on me to do well.
Some years later when I went through a rebellious phase I realized my dad was so right when I was being marked down for expressing my own ideas in essays which were no less well written or cogently argued than those for which I had previously gotten top marks. I went back to saying what the teachers wanted. I got A grades again.

butterflied · 28/07/2022 14:27

I have decided to re-evaluate life every three years. I have no desire to grow old with the pain levels I have. Assisted dying should be legal.

Squiff70 · 28/07/2022 14:28

I properly laughed out loud at "Fuck her and her hairy shit arsed bark machine".

My neighbours have three or four dogs who they keep in their back garden 24/7. They are never walked, have no toys and nothing to do and are basically puppy farm material. The dogs bark incessantly, wake us up, disturb our peace and ruin the enjoyment of fresh air through open windows in summer.

I fantasise about very very sneaky, cunning, creative ways to 'get rid' of the dogs. I would never hurt them, or any other animal (honestly I'm not capable), but I lie there on the sofa with the sun in my face, listening to them all barking with a slight smile on my face like an absolute fucking psycho, imagining ways to get those pooches to shuffle off this mortal coil. The more creative the plot, the more satisfied I become.

And then I remind myself it's the owners who need torturing, not the dogs...

DarkShade · 28/07/2022 14:29

SunshineAndFizz · 28/07/2022 14:14

I stick my fingers up at my DH behind his back if he annoys me.

He never sees, and I always feel like 'I've won'.

Me too! And I do the sign to ward off evil with my hands when he talks to me or walks past me when we're fighting or he's annoyed me. He has no idea. I don't really believe in that stuff but he does, he would hit the roof if he knew.

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