Secret confessions thread

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Okay, so, we all have these thoughts; things we know we DEFINITELY are being unreasonable about and yet we can't help but think them.

This is that thread. A chance to say whatever you want judgement free. You know it's silly, you know it makes no sense but it's how you feel. Feel free to share! It might make me feel a little less crazy.

I'll go first...

My best friend gave birth to twins today and I am INSANELY jealous. Simply because I want twins. I know it's stupid, I know I likely won't even have twins but I want them so badly and now she has them. I feel like she's stolen the twin dust and there will be none left for me!

Like I said - just somewhere to post how you're feeling consequence free

Mine is very silly - I have a massive, massive crush on Derren Brown, and would happily let him hypnotise me and do whatever he wanted to me. The way he rolls his shirt sleeves up gives me the fannygallops. I am the wrong sex entirely for him to be interested so I just content myself with dreaming :D

This would be great if you made it into a book! Original and funny.

I score people. Everyone starts off at a neutral 50 points when I first meet them. Then I add/remove five points at a time as I get to know them. Some things warrant greater additions or deductions.

It's a good way to judge who to bother using my energy on.

Leave him then?

I hate most people and I’m fed up of them using me and never offering to do anything nice for me😡

I really like Roman Kemp , but I could be his mum and I have children older than him!!
He has the most perfect face : I think I'd tend to 'mother him ' a bit though if I ever met him ( which is really really unlikely to ever happen)

I wish I hadn’t settled for and married the first guy I’d really gone out with. He’s a good husband and father and we have a very comfortable life but I do wonder what was going on my head in my early 20s. I don’t regret marrying him or having my children. I just feel a bit wistful sometimes about what might have been and acknowledge that it could have been worse vs even better.

I would never be friends with some of the people I do a sporting activity with outside of the activity.

I marked the edge of a bridesmaid dress deliberately in a shop when I was about 8.

I am not remotely interested in other people’s children/pets.

I must be boring, I have no secrets 😅!
I do however hope that some of these get published elsewhere and people get found out 😂😬

DH and I were on a carb free diet before IVF to lose weight, he gets in an hour later than me from work, I used to come home and eat the crackers left over from Christmas, you know the fancy pack you get at Christmas and only eat half, then I told him they went soggy so I gave them to the birds.
And we aren’t pregnant yet ( on our second transfer 2wW) but we have bought loads of baby stuff and my mum is judgy so I’ve hidden all the rest of the stuff we have bought and haven’t told her how excited we are. She says we shouldn’t buy anything before 3 months it’s bad luck.

I slept with one of my team. We'd been flirting for a couple of years, loads of chemistry, got drunk while working away....the sex was shit, really awful. Absolutely not worth the risk. He left about 4 months later and I didn't chip into his leaving collection.

Mine isn't exciting but I wish an unknown relative would die and has left me a shit ton of money so we can move from this shit hole of a flat into a house with a garden and so I'm not counting pennies to the last one and so I can stop using food banks.

When I was at uni decades ago, I plagiarised amazingly talented blogger (her blog was in another language). Her blog was incredulous raw talent but had limited audience.

Due to a complicated history I shall not get into, I ended up at top university after highly sheltered life with next to zero social life. I wanted to make up for lost time talking to intellectuals and have lots of sex.

I had easy flattering attention for my online profile, men made a beeline and we ended up having long nighttime conversations, even with genuine creeps. Surprisingly never fancied sex with them, as much as the idea of orgy sounded good at the time! Been called names, pr*cktease, etc. One went nuts because I quoted his favourite but not well known South American poet and declared his undying love, he was 40 ffs. This experiment lasted a few months while gaining decades worth of getting know men and their foibles. This addiction to attention stopped only because my then future husband came on scene (from elsewhere)

THIS!!!!!!

Good for you👍👍

@Hoppymclimpy you sound like an absolute legend! ❤️

I pressed a complaint against a school and got it accepted by Ofsted for no other reason than revenge for them turning up at Tribunal against me. Personally I couldn't have cared less about the reason for my complaint and was delighted when they made such a cackhanded mess of responding to it because I knew it would add weight with Ofsted who deemed it raised concerns over leadership and management.

This made me laugh!

Don't blame you @Byronalso . I recently was driving down a narrow country lane. There came a point where I had to slowly edge past a van. He refused to reverse at all and I went v slowly to avoid bashing the van and also scraping my car on some pots next to the side of the road. As I passed him, he opened his window and told me I needed to learn to drive as there was loads of room (there wasn't).
Having been patient up to that point, I wound down my window and called him a fucking c*.

I have recently considered murdering family members. I've considered the means, and thought about how I would spend my time in prison.

I hate work too , I don't envy today's young who will have to work until they drop :(
At least people had rights and a bit of a work life balance when I started , that is a thing of the past now and will only get worse too. It isn't good.

Same here ... 😂 (and they can tell, they just think you make crap tea)

My husband used to have a running top which he liked. One day, he left it on the floor of the bathroom (used urghh!) and didn't pick it up even when asked to 4 times. I eventually bagged it using a nappy bag and threw it in a dark corner in the stair cupboard.

A couple of weeks later, one of the window latches broke and he promised me that he'd deal with it. 3 weeks later, nothing having been done, I organised for someone to come and fix it. I'd meant to give the running top back but after that I binned it in a temper. He still wonders where it went occasionally.

I've toyed with the idea of binning something of his every time he annoys me but have decided that's probably a bit psycho.

With #metoo going on and apparently there isn't a single woman who has not experienced harassment and being assaulted, I sometimes sadly wonder what is wrong with me to never have experienced any of this - too plain to be visible at all?

@loopsaloo .....thank you! It felt very cathartic to write down!

People who are finding it cathartic to read or write these, have you heard of the app called Whisper? It’s very similar.