Secret confessions thread

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Okay, so, we all have these thoughts; things we know we DEFINITELY are being unreasonable about and yet we can't help but think them.

This is that thread. A chance to say whatever you want judgement free. You know it's silly, you know it makes no sense but it's how you feel. Feel free to share! It might make me feel a little less crazy.

I'll go first...

My best friend gave birth to twins today and I am INSANELY jealous. Simply because I want twins. I know it's stupid, I know I likely won't even have twins but I want them so badly and now she has them. I feel like she's stolen the twin dust and there will be none left for me!

Like I said - just somewhere to post how you're feeling consequence free

My brothers 6 year old demon stepdaughter makes me thankful that my 5 year old is special needs, he’s GDD and Autistic and he’s so sweet, caring and well behaved, he rarely has meltdowns and when he does they last less than 10 minutes.

The spawn of satan however is neuro-typical and hits, kicks, spits, screams, lies, steals and seems to take pleasure in it all. She acts like this with everyone too. This past weekend she tried her best(unsuccessfully) to provoke my mums senior dog into biting her. My SIL is counting down the days until she has to go to her dads for the 6week holidays.

(She’s been assessed by everyone possible, apparently she’s a normal 6 year old pushing boundaries. I maintain she’s satans child)

XH & I split acrimoniously.

When selling the empty marital home, XH let the new owners move the majority of their stuff into the house prior to exchange, as he knew it would wind me up. Neither XH, new owners or estate agents consulted me about it, even though EA knew how fractured things were.

I was disgusted with both him and the new owners storing their items in my house, so I went into the house and accidentally knocked several things over that had a domino effect of knocking more things over...there was that much of their crap in there.

I took great delight in hearing shattering and crashing from the stuff that should never have been in my property without my permission.

I kept one of the remotes for the garage, so I can drive pass and open the garage door for anyone to steal what they see or access the rest of the property any time I want. I don't think I will, as that feels a step too far, but it's good to know I could if I chose to.

I'd never noticed that but I'm thinking of every example I know and oh my God, you're right.

I'm old and single and a jokey friend bought me a vibrator I did not want. I discovered ebay does not allow private sellers to list them. As it was a very modern, USB powered, quite expensive looking item, in a velvet bag and a high quality box, I could not bear to just throw it in the bin.

The thing sat in a drawer, pristine in its box, for weeks whilst I tried to decide what to do with it.

Eventually I made an impulse decision: I popped it into a large carrier bag full of loads of small things destined for the local charity shop, which is run by a couple of sweet, white-haired old ladies.

But the thing is, it wasn't me that was taking the bag to the shop. I deliberately got someone else to take it, and I have never stopped wondering if they knew it was her who donated it --- and what they did with it.

To feel pity my friends have chosen to get another dog and won't be having babies as they won't experience how amazing having a child is. Also to feel pissed off they think they are two very similar things🤔

Thought of another one...

I sometimes post things here on MN to deliberately wind up those self righteous pompous posters who can't see that a conversation is more important than an attack to win an argument only they want to have.

I think this is a lot more normal than we all like to think it is.

I confess that I'm working on destroying a specific persons life. When I'm done, he'll wonder what the fuck has happened.

I neither feel guilty for doing this or will lose any sleep over it once done.

I have a great marriage, a lovely DH and great kids. Yet, I keep thinking about spending the rest of my life with a woman. The stupid thing is my sex life with DH is good. I have no idea why I keep thinking this but I can't shake it off.

How are you doing it?

When I know my 2 yo is in a really deep sleep I go into her bed & sort of rub my face all over her face & rub our noses together- its really weird but sort of like a compulsion 🫣

Oh this is a good one! Please tell us the profession - or is the shame still too potent?
I see vets and GPs having shifty Googles to refresh themselves. I’m not sure why we still have so much faith in an exam system that demands slices of knowledge to be demonstrated in small slices of time.

Instead of getting my kids up they are both in bed watching iPads whilst I sit and read Mumsnet in glorious peace and quiet 😁

I would like to have never have had to work.

My own Mum worked full time in a high pressure job and I have always worked.

Growing up, my friend’s mums didn’t work.
They ran the house and ‘looked after the children’ but in reality they spent a lot of time looking after themselves, baking, having friends over, reading books, doing hobbies whilst me and my friends (the children) looked after & entertained ourselves from around 10 years old!

Even now, these women who are in their 70s still do all of the above.
They talk about being ‘retired’.
Their children left home well over 30 years ago meaning that they must have ‘retired’ at 40.

I am jealous and resentful all at once.
I want their privileged, easy pace of life.

@ANiceBigCupOfTea I send you a hug and hope that you get through the wedding, I'm so sorry for your losses. It sounds like you are very lovely.

Haha I'm not I promise. Just someone who needed to confess!

I know, with regard to the animal one, what part of it makes it a fantasy? is it the de humanisation of the animal, well obviously, because it's not a human. Honestly really confused that this is a fantasy. But then there have been reports of this in the media before so poster who has this fantasy is not the only one.

This confession is quite gross but could also be used as a "hack"... at a festival I didn't want to use the loos so did a wee into a jar that I emptied into the grass somewhere and did a shit into my babies nappy, rolled it up and then disposed of it in the usual way.

Slightly ashamed but also proud of myself in this one. Stank the tent out for a bit!

Me to! I'll include my husband to but I just don't have emotions for others.

People tell me their problems but I really don't care about them.

In the warmer weather, l often go out without any knickers on. Including fairly regularly at work.

Not judging! There was a time I wanted to do this. It would have thrown a few sand bags overboard for me, helped me because the injustice would have been righted a little but every body told me to rise above it et cetera.

Occasionally I produce made up missing pet posters and pin them around the neighborhood. Said pets are usually of the exotic variety, snakes, barberry monkeys, lynx cats, Komodo dragons etc, they always create a stir on the nextdoor app. Most people see them for the bit of fun that they are but there are several folk who get really angry and have contacted the RSPCA and police over the irresponsible people keeping dangerous pets. Under a different username I sometimes post 'sightings' just to stir the pot. I use the mobile number of someone I really dislike on the posters.

Yes I am sad

I made a word search puzzle using only the letters from the phrase, 'evil detention', if the student could find the phrase 'evil detention' three times they could go.

I only put the phrase in once.

Another teacher copied it.

My biological parent is staying with us for 2 weeks and I am regretting it already. I spend half the time irritated out of my mind and the rest of the time worrying that I've inherited their irritating characteristics. This is my annual leave as well and I want to go and hide in a hole.