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Original poster

Secret confessions thread

999 replies

colourPink · 27/07/2022 20:13

Okay, so, we all have these thoughts; things we know we DEFINITELY are being unreasonable about and yet we can't help but think them.

This is that thread. A chance to say whatever you want judgement free. You know it's silly, you know it makes no sense but it's how you feel. Feel free to share! It might make me feel a little less crazy.

I'll go first...

My best friend gave birth to twins today and I am INSANELY jealous. Simply because I want twins. I know it's stupid, I know I likely won't even have twins but I want them so badly and now she has them. I feel like she's stolen the twin dust and there will be none left for me!

Like I said - just somewhere to post how you're feeling consequence free Smile

OP posts:
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5
noodlezoodle · 28/07/2022 00:17

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/07/2022 23:40

I do this too.

incidentally, you can say the word "cunt" under your breath without your lips moving....try it! I do it several times a shift at work.

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I wish I'd known this years ago! Although it might have got me the sack.

Reigateforever · 28/07/2022 00:17

So sorry for what you have been through.

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/07/2022 00:19

BlueberryBelle · 27/07/2022 23:46

Just tried it. Fantastic tip. Will do it next time. Thanks!

Show quote history

Somehow it feels more.....real? saying it rather than just thinking it!

PGordino · 28/07/2022 00:21

@PyongyangKipperbang , yes dear, it’s the price I pay for having the uterus of a Wimbledon champion.

where’s my Clint?

Pillorama · 28/07/2022 00:23

Great Thread.

I fancy Boris Johnson and gutted that he wont be on the telly as much now he's resigned.

I don't miss my sister who went missing years ago, she is a sociopath and did some terrible thing to my family.

I pretend I am supportive of my friend's Search for Love via OLD, but secretly find it tragic and cringe that she is grateful for whatever crumbs are thrown her way.

Gilead · 28/07/2022 00:24

Another one waiting for her Mother to die. She should not have been allowed to have children. A wicked cruel narcissist, and she does have an official dx.
I met some random people once in a queue, got talking, turns out they knew her (she lives abroad did they, but we’re strangely on holiday in the U.K. town where I lived). They were shocked to find out she had two daughters as she has convinced herself and everyone else she only has two sons. One is useful, the other is stupid. We don’t kowtow to her, ergo persona non grata.

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/07/2022 00:25

PGordino · 28/07/2022 00:21

@PyongyangKipperbang , yes dear, it’s the price I pay for having the uterus of a Wimbledon champion.

where’s my Clint?

And where has it got you, having a pelvic floor like a bulldog clip?!

Love it!! DL is my comfort DVD of choice, made more fun by the fact that my mother is soooo like Jean (without the divorce and the shagging around!) she is so sarcastic and we watched it constantly saying "Thats Grandma/Ma" 😃

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/07/2022 00:32

twin33 · 28/07/2022 00:15

My relationship looks perfect on the outside, 6 bed house, 2 cars, husband earns 80k, ive been a SAHM for many years but it's been 26 years of hell. Ive hidden it well but it's taken it's toll on my health. Nobody knows how controlling and abusive he is. I'm always on eggshells. People don't realise what a wreck I am. The house is a tip because I just can't find the energy to clean and tidy. It takes a lot out of me to get up every day and just get by. I'm constantly told I'm fat, lazy and not good enough. We've been in separate rooms for over 15 years. I'm so glad to have my own room. I could afford a new bed recently due to a small inheritance, before that it was the sofa or a mouldy lumpy single bed. Nobody has a clue what is going on. He earns over 80k, I recently got a part time job so earn around 10k, he wants me to contribute to bills etc. I can barely afford shopping and other miscellaneous stuff. He tells me how rubbish I am because I can only earn minimum wage. I'm a big let down. He has berated me for having no ambition etc but has puts tight restrictions on when and where I can work incase it inconveniences him and his job. I have to cook tea on time etc. His family have mentioned me not having a job for years, looking at me like I can't be bothered and living off my husband they don't know the situation and I'm always covering up. Today I was so frustrated and distracted by his behaviour I wanted to stab myself in the arm. It just felt the right thing to do but I suddenly snapped out of it. I have to live like this or I can't live with my children, it's a cruel choice. My husband is a heartless bastard. Nobody knows his dark temper and dark moods. I've wasted so much of my life on him being loyal and supportive. He cheated on me years ago, I could never do that. He treats me disrespectfully all the time. My work is exhausting but it is a great place to go and escape to for a few hours. Coming home is like walking under a black cloud. I needed to get all that out.

Why is it the price you need to pay?

He wont take your kids, he cant. Womens Aid can help you, please contact them. Many of us felt that we couldnt leave and yet when we did the "worst case scenario" they had fed us as fact didnt actually happen. He has money and I suspect a suitcase full of arrogance that he knows more than you do. This is a gift to you.

A man who has decided that he knows better than you, a lawyer, a barrister and a judge will actively shoot down his own claims against you. The lawyer and barrister will represent him because dickheads like this are so very lucrative, but they know that he wont win, they will just represent him and then present the bill when he has lost.

The only thing you will lose when you leave is the house and the cars, you will regain your self belief and self love. Please call Womens Aid.

Been there, escaped. You have friends here, please post again for help.

Sister love xx

Adeleh · 28/07/2022 00:34

I’m pretty sure I’m gay. I was terrified of being gay as a teen, because my mother always threw it at me as an insult because I was so shit at relationships. I love women. I would love to sleep with a woman. I’ve been married for years and have only just let myself realise this.

user1471553275 · 28/07/2022 00:45

I hate my boss and can't wait for her to spectacularly fail. She's made my life an absolute misery for the last 18 months as her deputy. I made the decision to leave the role and I finish on Fri returning to my normal job (same money and less responsibility). I love my job but can't work with her. She's incompetent and gaslights me constantly. I am praying everyone sees her for what she is with me not around. She's asked me before if I'm after her job (I did it for maternity cover for a year). I don't, I just want her to be good at her job. She's worn me down so I've given up as I have no fight left in me. I'm going to have a little cry in the office on Fri when I finish but I know it's for the best.

RicherThanYew · 28/07/2022 00:45

I hope I snuff it within the next 2 years so my family can cope financially with the insurance money, I'm disabled so it would be better if I went rather than DH as he can do more.

On a less morbid note, I wish I could get house painters to give me a quote that includes the cost of the flipping paint, I think it's ridiculous that they don't as it's just a few bloody windowsills.

StrangeLookingParasite · 28/07/2022 00:55

And where has it got you, having a pelvic floor like a bulldog clip?!

Am dying.

RiverSkater · 28/07/2022 00:58

I spent my, 20s and 30s with a bullying older sister and two supposedly 'best friends' who loved to patronise me. I wasn't pretty enough, didn't earn as much, wasn't getting boyfriends, didn't own a house. All true but no need to point it out. They were never 'in my corner'. I think they loved looking down on me. My sister was verbally and physically abusive but I thought I had to have her in my life as she was my sister. I was the best sister and friend but always taken for granted.

At the age of 37, I met somebody, we bought a house. I got pregnant aged 40 and 43. They were spectacularly unsupportive and came to see me once after the birth of each child. They are all still single and childless. This makes me smile more than it ought.

Ifeelnothingatall · 28/07/2022 01:04

I feel nothing for anyone except my children, that part of me doesn’t seem to function, I don’t give a shit about anyone else, I don’t wish any ill will towards anyone but they could all vanish tomorrow and I wouldn’t be bothered.
I know this isn’t normal but it doesn’t bother me, effectively I’m acting and being untruthful all of the time. Weirdly people really like me, tend to tell me their deepest emotions and secrets. If people become emotional about anything I just feel inconvenienced, I do and say the right things but I’m waiting for it to be over so I can get back to whatever it was I was doing.

expat101 · 28/07/2022 01:07

DM lives in a private hospital confined to a wheelchair, which requires a high level of care. The fees are partially subsidized by the Govt, her pension and the balance from the sale of my parents family home. DD died several years ago.

That house money has nearly gone and as the only ''child'' and PoA, I am so over worrying about what will happen if she lives past this date. DH and I cannot afford to cover the cost.

In addition, her muscles deteriorated in strength because she wouldn't exercise, so in a nutshell she has put herself in this position. She has been in rehab three times as well as a private physio, but because she won't do the exercises, there is nothing the medical profession can do and they have tried. Mental health have also been in for a chat which she was enraged about, and they feel she is fine...

It's the second private facility I have found for her to live in, as well as a lovely villa in a gated estate just after DD died when she was using a walking frame.

She continually finds things to complain about, or grizzles about the staff calling in sick... and the current facility have had enough of her.

I have little left inside of me to care. I'm tired and I want to be free of this worry.

fastandthecurious1 · 28/07/2022 01:17

I highly dislike my best friends son... I feel he is an actual sociopath and avoid being around him at all costs... I barely ever take my toddler round because I will not let them be alone playing together... she also doesn't allow it so I think she knows he's dangerous

LINABE · 28/07/2022 01:27

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jennyofthenorth · 28/07/2022 01:27

Adeleh · 28/07/2022 00:34

I’m pretty sure I’m gay. I was terrified of being gay as a teen, because my mother always threw it at me as an insult because I was so shit at relationships. I love women. I would love to sleep with a woman. I’ve been married for years and have only just let myself realise this.

HEY!!!! Me too!! i just came to the same realization last week. Im not married but living in a very judgmental small town area.

squashandrun · 28/07/2022 01:33

I sext strangers on an app every day - when I'm at the gym, sat in my car at the supermarket, on the sofa watching TV, while I'm cooking dinner. I've always had a ridiculously high libido and it's the only thing that's remotely satisfying for me.

You wouldn't think it if you met me, I've always been told I have an "innocent" looking face and demeanour and the app stuff is so far-removed from my real life, it does feel like I'm leading a double life at times. I'm single though and always block men who pop up with "married" or "taken" in their bio.

letitcomedown · 28/07/2022 01:38

I'm male, consider myself straight, always been ordinary looking if not a little ugly but in my late teens had ridiculously filthy public sex with a girl including a drunken threesome with another male. She next went out with a very famous pop icon. For years I've been somewhere between being a little disgusted with myself, proud, and bewildered how it happened but think nobody would believe me if I told them what happened and with who so never have.

oakleaffy · 28/07/2022 02:01

OldTinHat · 27/07/2022 21:56

I despise DS2's gf. So does the rest of the family. We tried our hardest but now DS2 has gradually cut every single one of us off - me, his brother, his grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousins...and has been NC for over two years. We don't know why, we were always kind to his gf. We don't even know where he lives now and he's only 21. She's older.

I cry a lot because I miss him. But I also wish terrible things on her. Terrible, terrible things. She is not a nice person.

That sounds awful.
His older GF sounds like someone in the public eye who has also caused her younger partner to become estranged from his family.

Narcissist women.

I sincerely hope your son “ Wakes up” and comes back into the fold.

BanditoShipman · 28/07/2022 02:04

FatsoandtheFeast · 27/07/2022 22:05

I vaguely know someone that pronounces their own name 'wrong' and everyone goes with it. I haven't seen them for years, they have nothing to do with me directly or indirectly, and it still bugs me almost weekly. It's pathetic how bothered I am by this name.

I know of someone whose name is Sheila but pronounces it ‘SHE - LEE - AH’.

I don’t even know her personally and it drives me insane!!

Nyman1962 · 28/07/2022 02:30

In my current job I have a high level of independence and can decide and arrange travel.

I quite often make trips both UK and abroad and stay in lovely hotels just to get away by myself, read and enjoy my own solitary company and eat nice meals. And I can get away with it without my partner thinking I'm having an affair!

BenCooperSuperTrouper · 28/07/2022 02:30

Pluvia · 27/07/2022 21:45

I have an outlying family member who's grieving very deeply for her mother, who died nearly two years ago, and I listen and nod while thinking to myself what an absolute monster the mother was, how narcissistic and destructive, how she blighted her daughter's life... I wait for the day it all starts to dawn on the daughter.

I have found that people who are grieving for a parent, but their grief is harder and longer than normal and it affect their lives and well-being to an extreme degree , are always grieving for an arsehole.

mackthepony · 28/07/2022 02:32

One if the main perks of taking the kids swimming is the insanely hot lifeguard there. He's about 20, tanned, ripped and absolutely gorgeous. Smiling all the time.

ALL the women are constantly checking him out