To leave 16 yr old at home alone for 2 weeks

[FanGurlll]

For various reasons DS, 16, doesn't want to come on holiday this year.
Would you leave your 16 year old home alone?

Definitely fine. In Scotland you are officially an adult at sixteen and can make your own choices.

Much better than a rubbish holiday with an unwilling teen.

No.

That does sound epic!
Different times for sure these days.
Sadly, I inadvertently got neighbours teen stepdaughter into trouble-
She was alone, had a noisy party.

Stepmother slyly asked me If I’d been disturbed by noise.

I replied “They were a bit noisy, but quietened down at 4am”

The stepmother looked triumphant and said
”Stepdaughter lied to me!”

I was shocked at underhand questions, the house wasn’t damaged.

No… party time… no way!

No, and I am fairly chilled. A relative of mine died the same age when parents went on holiday. They did not make it home in time to go to the hospital even with police escort part of the way, and will never forgive themselves. I know the odds are extremely small, but shit things like this sadly happens.

It was noones fault though.

Well, it depends. How far from home would you be OP? If only a couple of hours away, possibly. If overseas, no. What is your DC like, can you trust them not to wreck the place? Are they confident and happy about being left alone? Do they have the practical skills to look after themselves and the house? Is there a friend / relative close by in case of an emergency? Could a trusted friend stay with them? I’m planning to leave my 16yo for 2 nights next month and will be 2 hours away. That’s enough for me!

it depends if they are sensible but 2 weeks seems a bit long tbh. I was left a week when I was 16 but didn’t set foot past the front door and enjoyed myself as had everything I needed. If you do leave them tell them what to do it a bulb blows or electric goes off or washing machine packs in and make sure an adult is checking in on them. As sort stuff out case there’s a medical emergency.

If my 16-yr-old had a summer job and something of a routine to their week, I would. DC1 was left for 10 days last summer, enjoyed the freedom and all was well. They were out at work Monday - Friday though which I'm sure helped. Even though they're older this year, I'd feel less happy about leaving them home alone for the same period of time; no regular hours holiday job, a change in friendship group and more time spent with peers who are fragile. I'd be concerned by the sort of responsibility DC1 would end up taking on and about the subsequent emotional fall out.

this also comes from someone that had only been left about 4 times over night ever in 16 years and I was fine.

Hmmmm, differing opinions!

I'm not too worried about parties, but I suppose you never really know.
We do have reliable neighbours and family close by, but I'm not comfortable with it to be honest. Equally, I'm pissed off that I have to give up my holiday because of it!

Blimey, I was left for 2 weeks at 16 and I wouldn’t have dreamed of having a party! I don’t think it’s neglectful at all. I’d be more worried about the state of the house if your 16 yo has some lively friends than anything else.

Hmmm, probably not, that said DD is 17 (18 next April) and she’s staying home in September for 11 nights. I have no concerns whatsoever.

Because what will you do if they say no? Not everyone likes family holidays for all sorts of reasons.

My super sensible dd is 16 and I leave her for 2 nights max. She gets lonely otherwise.

Why give it up? Where would you be going?

Absolutely, why the hell not?

I stayed at home alone at that age as I had a job. Was great

This happened to a girl and her sister who I knew too!

Depends on the 16-year-old.

My parents left me for a week when I was 16. But they freely admitted they would never in a million years have left my older sister for even a weekend when she was that age, because she would absolutely have had a party. Basically she was the most teenage teen that ever lived, whereas I was a 40-year-old trapped in the body of an adolescent.

I really liked having the place to myself. I had my three best mates over a couple of times for film nights and pizza,
or sunbathing in the garden, but otherwise it was me and my dogs and I loved it. I assume they must have given me contact details for responsible adults or something for emergencies.

My DD is almost 16 and I definitely wouldn't leave her for this long. She's really sensible, too, but she just wouldn't like it and I'd also worry about her so wouldn't be able to relax. I've left her for one night before but no longer.

Bad things happen when your kids walk down the street, get in a car, swim in a pool, walk down a flight of stairs, or do literally anything at all.

Living your life looking through a "bad things can happen" lenses is a ridiculous way to live and a ridiculous way to make decisions. Bad things can always happen.

I think this is a big question that people take too lightly.

I guess there may have been 16 year olds in previous generations who were used to looking after themselves and wouldn't take the opportunity of 2 weeks alone to go off the rails a bit, but I think kids like that are few and far between nowadays. If your child is very sociable, they will have a lot of friends and your house will be used as a party hub. If they are not, and don't have many friends, they could easily become lonely, insecure and worried without the reassuring background hum of family being around.

I thought my 18 year old would not want to come away with us this year, so we cut our holiday down to 1 week. As it happens, he surprised us by coming for 5 days.

I can't think of a single person I know in real life who would leave a 16 y/o alone for 2 weeks (and more or less everyone I know is the parent of a teens atm) and - if I did - I would think them either neglectful or foolish or a combination of the two.

Scottish kids go to
uni at 17. Depends on your kid.

Oh lordy. Now you're making me doubt myself. DH and i are planning to go away for a week in November, leaving DS16 home alone.

I can get relatives to come for the weekend part - and might do, but also I know all the neighbours on the cul de sac and can get friends to drop by as well.

DS is generally pretty sensible, but I'm under no illusions that he won't have his pals round. Our house doesn't have any valuables so that's ok and I'll probably send rookiedog to the dog walkers for the week as that would be the biggest concern.